Religulous

The irony of religion is that because of its power to divert man to destructive courses, the world could actually come to an end. The plain fact is, religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having in key decisions made by religious people. By irrationalists, by those who would steer the ship of state not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq, but he didn't learn a lot about it. Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking.

It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it's wonderful when someone says, "I'm willing, Lord! I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas.

And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don't. How can I be so sure? Because I don't know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble, and that's what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong. This is why rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife, for the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here, or wherever, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects of religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let's remember what the real problem was that we learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. That's it. Grow up or die.

-Bill Maher, from Religulous

The Cult

No, I'm not talking about the kickass rock band that gave us tunes like "Fire Woman" or "She Sells Sanctuary," I'm talking about the Republican Party, which is beginning to resemble something along the lines of Heaven's Gate. You remember that, right? The crazy people who all killed themselves because they were going to hitch a ride on the Hale-Bopp Comet? Let's contrast and compare for a moment:

Heaven's Gate:
"It is also possible that part of our test of faith is our hating this world, even our flesh body, to the extent to be willing to leave it without any proof of the Next Level's existence."

Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-Arkham Asylum):
"This [health care reform] cannot pass…What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass…Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom."

Remember, people voted for this woman, they elected her to public office to represent them in congress. Seriously. And really, slit their wrists and become blood brothers? Does Michelle Bachmann worship Satan? That would certainly explain how she was elected...

And it's not just one crazy person, take a look around at the Republican Party today, it's nothing but frothing-at-the-mouth psychopaths. Let's ignore all the misinformed idiots at all these town hall meetings and focus on the people who actually wield some sort of authority in this country.

How about Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who claims he performed an exorcism on a young woman when he was in college? I've brought it up before, but it is a 100% true story, it's not some birther-esque conspiracy, Jindal himself has claimed that he performed an exorcism. I have to repeat that one more time - a sitting governor, an elected official, not only believes in the idea of exorcisms, he thinks he's performed one.

Then there's George W. Bush, who sent 4,000 brave men and women to die (and countless others to come back maimed), because God told him to invade Iraq. A twice-elected (well, one and half times elected) president started a war because "God" told him. I don't find that troubling that as an almost-atheist, I find it troubling in the same way that it disturbs me when I see a crazy person muttering about God as he stumbles down an alley. Yeah, we elected THAT guy to be president.

How about Representative John Shimkus (R-IL) who says we don't need to worry about climate change because only God decides when the world ends? That's right, ignore all the science and trash the place because it's not going to matter when God splits open the heavens and sends the Four Horsemen to destroy the world. Sounds like someone's interested in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Then of course, there's Sarah Palin, who belongs to a church that can "pray the gay away" and allows "Pastor" Thomas Muthee to come preach. Palin claims she wouldn't have been elected governor had Muthee not "laid hands" upon her, as he prayed for Jesus to bless her with wealth and protect her from witches. Literal witches, broomstick-riding, cauldron-brewing WITCHES.

I know I've mentioned all these over the last few months in previous entries, but when I compile them all together, can you actually look at it and take these people seriously? It's not just them, there are many more loonies in the party and even more nutjobs that support them, so honestly, please tell me how this party has any credibility?

If I were to sit you down and tell you about a group of people whose leaders believed in witches, exorcisms, a supernatural apocalypse, thought God was speaking directly to them and then called on their members to slit their wrists and become blood brothers, what would you think? Republican Party? Religious cult? Is there really even a difference at this point?

The crazies are getting restless

Usually it's just fun to laugh at wingnuts; they're generally harmless, spewing shit so idiotic that no one in their right mind would ever pay attention to them. Whether it's Obama's birth certificate, his choice in mustard, gay marriage leading to the downfall of civilization, or they're named Glenn Beck... they're usually just silly old crazy people, like the kind you'd find pushing around a shopping cart, but not in a grocery store. Unfortunately, the ultra right-wing is growing increasingly frustrated as they become increasingly irrelevant and as a result, they're becoming more dangerous.

All this psychotic rage seemed to begin around the end of the presidential campaign when the McCain/Palin events became glorified hate rallies. We all remember McCain reining in the crazy old woman who called Obama an "Arab," but Governor Avon Lady didn't stop fanning the flames of wingnuttery when she started insinuating that her opponent was a "terrorist." With policemen (in uniform) and various religious leaders to help spread the smears as well, they set the table for the crazies to come feast.

Aligning with psychopaths is a lot like opening Pandora's Box, there is no going back, the toothpaste is out of the tube, insert other cliché here. Obama won the election, but the Republicans had all these new found loonies shuffling around aimlessly like the mindless zombies they are, so they all got together and had themselves a little Tea Party. The tea parties were hijacked from the Libertarian movement and turned into campaign events, funded by neocons like Newt Gingrich and Dick Armey. The teabagging did nothing except show how hypocritical and out of touch the Republican Party was with America; they were essentially complaining that they had to pay for the tow truck after a night of drunk driving resulting in wrapping their Mercedes around a telephone pole. But that didn't stop the crazies from showing up, oh no... the teabaggers weren't just coming to talk about taxes, they had plenty of wingnutty goodness to go around.

But then it got scary, unlike when McCain reined in the racists at those campaign rallies, the Republicans embraced the tea parties and we got a glance at just how fucking insane this party has become. Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann wanted her contstituents "armed and dangerous," Texas Governor Rick Perry talked about seceding from the union and Republican strategist (and complete scumbag) Dick Morris, took a page out of G. Gordon Liddy's handbook and said, “Those crazies in Montana who say, ‘we’re going to kill ATF agents because the UN’s going to take over’ - well, they’re beginning to have a case.”

All this crazy boiled over earlier this week when Dr. George Tiller, a doctor who helped women and their families through an agonizing decision, was assassinated by a right-wing extremist. And then, several sick and demented psychopaths celebrated. I'm not going to get into the abortion debate here - if you agree with a woman's right to choose then I'd just be preaching to the choir; if you disagree, neither of us will convince the other otherwise - but if you think Dr. Tiller was performing these late-term abortions just because the mother "changed her mind," then you're a fucking moron. Pro-"life," but only if it's unborn... grown adults are apparently fair game, and killing them in church is a-okay too. Crazy and hypocritical... a dangerous combination.

But it doesn't stop there... in the last two days, a man is roaming around somewhere in the country, armed to the teeth and carrying a small fortune, plotting to assassinate the President of the United States. Today, a different man was arraigned in New York after plotting to "blow up" President Obama and Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. Mix this in with all these random shooting sprees that have been popping up all over the place and one might think this country has officially lost its goddamn mind.

A lot of people have placed part of the blame on Fox News, especially Bill O'Reilly, for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. As much as I'd like to blame them specifically, it goes much deeper than that. This culture of fear and paranoia has been growing since 9/11, partially because the Republicans have exploited it for political gain, partially because we still have a lot of racists and bigots living in this country and partially because we'll always have people who are just plain bonkers. That Homeland Security report about right-wing extremists (the one the Republicans went nuts over even though it was authorized by the Bush Administration) was spot-on, and I worry that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better.

Sinking to new lows

Gay marriage has been legalized in five states: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and Maine; New York and New Hamsphire could be added to the list very soon. So here we are, 10% of the states in the union recognize same-sex marriage and society has not collapsed onto itself. Straight marriages aren't threatened, the "family unit" has not come unraveled and the only difference seems to be that gay people are enjoying (or will soon be enjoying) the same rights as everyone else. That is of course, if you don't pay attention to the right-wing, who have lost their collective shit. Take a look:



Watching that video makes me literally nauseous, I'm not kidding. To paraphrase the video, when I have to listen to scumbags like Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Pat Robertson, I want to puke. These are despicable human beings and they should be ashamed of themselves (if they had shame) for spreading this kind of bigotry. "The Gay Gestapo?" Seriously? Yeah, God forbid someone call you out on your hate and intolerance, you phony moral crusaders. A few months back, I said that people who make these kind of arguments are subhuman and it's sad that I even need to discuss it now, but apparently the wingnuts aren't going to let it go. These smears, lies and distortions are all patently false and I'm going to put these disgusting arguments to rest right now.

Gay marriage is not going to lead to polygamy. As it stands right now, there is nothing illegal about a married man or woman bringing a third, fourth or fifteenth partner into their home. Many people live in open marriages and if they choose to do that, that is their own decision as consenting adults. But the state legally recognizing a plural marriage will lead to several complications that would not be present in a monogamous gay or straight marriage. We provide tax incentives to married couples, if the state recognized a plural marriage, those incentives would double with each additional spouse, which would create all kinds of tax issues. Welfare and immigration abuse would skyrocket; we already have enough problems with people getting married simply to secure immigration status, now imagine if someone could turn it into a business. A man could theoretically charge immigrants to marry him so they could become citizens of this country. Also, think of how messy divorce is in America when it's just two people, imagine a court wasting time, resources and taxpayer money trying to figure out paternity rights, division of property, alimony and inheritance for three, four, or ten partners... the cons far outweigh the pros for legalizing polygamy.

Gay marriage will not lead to man-child marriage for one simple reason, pedophilia is illegal. Children are not in any position to give legal consent, and even if they think they would want to marry an adult, that's why we have statutory rape laws in place. Gay marriage, just like straight marriage, will be between consenting adults.

Despite what Bill O'Reilly fantasizes, gay marriage will not lead to a man marrying a turtle, bestiality is illegal. Animals have none of the legal rights that humans do, they cannot enter into any legal contract, including marriage. Having sex with an animal is animal abuse, and much like with pedophilia, animals cannot give legal consent, so there's no legal argument to be made here.

These concerns being raised are completely insane and it further proves the bigotry of those who oppose gay marriage. Yes, if you use these arguments, you are a bigot, plain and simple. They're trying to equate homosexuality with various perversions and fetishes, to give the impression that there's something wrong with a gay person. There's nothing wrong with gay people, but I think the above video shows the only perverts in this debate are the twisted deviants who make these kind of arguments.

Spoiler alert: when you support bigotry, you'll be on the wrong side of history. Just like our treatment of the American Indian, our usage of slavery, suppression of women's rights, Jim Crow laws, and the internment of Japanese citizens during World War II, the fact that we even needed to have this debate about gay rights will be looked back on with shame and disgust. Gay marriage will be legal in this country, hopefully sooner than later, but it will happen... You can't stop social progress, those who try will always lose.

National Day of Prayer

On this, the National Day of Prayer, I am praying for the end of the National Day of Prayer. There is absolutely no reason to have the government involved in something like this and I'm already tired of the faux outrage from the right because Obama is choosing to pray privately (which is what it says to do in the Bible). We've got too much prayer in this country, too many people wearing their religion on their sleeve, how about a National Day of Secularism? Or a National Day of Logic? And how about we celebrate it 365 days a year?

The funny thing about this bullshit holiday is that it's only been around since 1952. My dad is older than the National Day of Prayer, so it's just more evidence that this country has been hijacked by the religious right and they've been at this for quite a few decades. It is a direct violation of the First Amendment and the exact opposite of what our Founding Fathers intended. Let's take a look at some quotes from our third president:

"Fasting and prayer are religious exercises; the enjoining them an act of discipline. Every religious society has a right to determine for itself the time for these exercises, and the objects proper for them, according to their own particular tenets; and right can never be safer than in their hands, where the Constitution has deposited it. ...civil powers alone have been given to the President of the United States and no authority to direct the religious exercises of his constituents."

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between church and State."
-Thomas Jefferson

Many of our Founding Fathers were believers in one way or another, but they were also very critical of religious institutions and they actually questioned the very idea of religion. Benjamin Franklin once said, "The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason," imagine if a candidate today said that. He'd be run out of town, tarred and feathered by the right-wing propaganda machine and his political career would be over. Today, you don't necessarily have to be as crazy as George W. Bush and hear voices in your head, but you do have to have some religion. Of course, this is unconstitutional, but it's an unwritten law, so there's really not much rational people can do about it.

You know what I hope Obama is doing to celebrate today? Working! He's the President of the United States, he's got far more important things to do. Prayer sure as hell isn't going to get us out of recession, get people back to work or solve the crisis in Pakistan (actually I think prayer is the exact cause of the crisis in Pakistan), so I'd much rather him be getting shit done. I know Barack Obama is a man of faith, but for the sake of this nation, I hope he's lying. We had eight years of a man who thought he had magical powers and look where that got us... maybe it's time for an appeal to reason? Pray on your own time, do what makes you feel good, but keep it away from our government.

What Would Jesus Drive?

Introducing the Jesus license plate, courtesy of our friends in Florida. For those people who think a bumper sticker just isn't enough to spread their religious beliefs, Florida has you covered! I wonder how all those elderly Jews in Florida feel about a Jesus and his amazing pectoral muscles being on a state-issue license plate. Surely this has to violate the separation of church and state, right? Not according to Governor Charlie Crist, who says if you don't want one, you don't have to get one. Apparently the governor thinks these things just print themselves and they're not produced with tax dollars.

And really Governor, that's the can of worms you want to open, if you don't want one, you don't have to get one? Okay then, I assume that means Florida will soon be issuing license plates with the Star of David, an Islamic crescent moon, Buddha and various Hindu gods? What about a license plate with Zeus? Or how about one with Satan and a pentagram on it? Hey, if people don't want one, they don't have to get one.

For all my religious readers, would you even want something this offensive on your car? If I were a Christian, I would find this to be one of the tackiest things I've ever seen and I'd be furious at the genius who thought this would be a good idea. I don't think being screwed to the back of a Volvo is what Jesus had in mind when he died for our sins. Isn't this the very definition of using the lord in vain, exploiting his image while you make a trip to the mall?

I can't wait for this to become a huge embarrassment for Florida when someone gets one of these plates with the custom tag "ATHE1ST" or "STN_666."

Going green, because I'm about to vomit

In honor of Earth Day, I need to get something off my chest that's been bugging me for awhile, I hate the "going green" movement. It's marketing buzzwords for things that we should just be doing. Do I really need people blowing millions of dollars on advertising to tell me that I should be buying an energy-saving light bulb that will last years longer than an incandescent bulb? Everyone should be using reusable shopping bags, not just because of the environmental impact, but because they're simply better than plastic. Do we really need a silly gimmick like everyone turning off their lights for an hour when we can just do what our Dads bugged us about for years: turn things off when you're not using them? In our current economic climate, we shouldn't need to be told to not be wasteful, it's common sense.

We all know I'm as liberal as they come and I'm definitely concerned about the environment, but we need to get real. We're not running out of landfill space, we're running out of polar ice caps... recycling a Pepsi bottle isn't going to stop global warming. So what can we do to stop it? Probably the first thing we can do is drop the phrase "global warming," because any time there's snowfall, some dumbass Neocon runs their mouth and says "where's all the global warming?" showing a complete misunderstanding of science as opposed to their usual misunderstanding of politics.

Climate change is real, and we're getting beyond the point where average citizens can save the planet one tree at a time. The only thing that's going to truly fight this threat is money, lots and lots of money, the kind of money only mega corporations and world governments have. It's good to do whatever you can, because it will save necessary energy, resources and money, but there's no need to go crazy over the green trend. Instead of worrying about whether or not your grill is a hybrid, maybe you should worry whether or not your congressman believes in climate change or if he actually thinks the earth can only end when God brings about the Rapture:

The funniest damn thing I've ever seen

Just thought I'd share this little slice of hilarity with you:

How does this affect you?! HOW?! Give me one reason why someone's gay marriage affects you in any way, shape or form and I'll never raise the issue again. The right-wing has completely lost its damn mind.

Meet the Newt Boss, Same as the Old Boss

Is the Republican Party truly so desperate for a leader that they've allowed Newt Gingrich to reemerge? Man, I almost feel sorry for them at this point. And is it 1996 again, why is he back on my television screen on a nightly basis? Is he planning a run for president? Oh, that's just hilarious. Yeah, take the poster boy for 1990s "conservatism" and let him run for president in 2012 after those principles are a direct cause of the mess we're in now.

If ol' Newty truly is gearing up for a presidential run, I expect it to play out just like Rudy Giuliani in the last election; everyone will start picking out bibles to swear in President Gingrich as soon as things start looking bright for the Republicans and then he'll fail to win a single primary. Honestly, is there anyone out there who actually likes Newt Gingrich? This guy would be lucky to have a higher approval rating than Dick Cheney. While he would be far more qualified for the job, I can't see this guy getting more primary votes than Governor Avon Lady, as much of a joke as she is, some people inexplicably love her. Who loves Newt Gingrich... besides his third wife?

In case you missed it, Newt started flapping his gums yesterday and had the audacity to call the Obama administration "anti-religious." Are you fucking kidding me?! If anything, Obama is far too religious considering his weak stance on gay marriage and his desire to expand so-called faith-based programs. So where's this anti-religious nonsense coming from? Oh, because Barack Obama appointed a gay man to the 25-person White House advisory council on faith-based initiatives. First off, why do we even need a council on faith-based initiatives? Let's get the government out of faith-based initiatives and let's get faith-based initiatives out of government, we'll all be a lot better off that way. Secondly, gotta love the idea that Obama is "anti-religious" because he has a gay person on an advisory board about religion. How very Christian of you, Newt... but at least you're just flat-out admitting that those heathen homosexuals aren't allowed in your little club.

I would LOVE to see a debate between Gingrich and Obama about morals and values. Newt Gingrich, an admitted adulterer who has had three wives (including one he divorced while she was recovering from cancer), is going to tell Barack Obama how to be a good Christian? Between this assclown, Palin's laundry list of religious insanity and Bobby Jindal performing an exorcism (sadly I'm not kidding), how can any religious person look at the Republican Party and actually take them seriously?

Save the Gays!

I apologize for the lack of updates as of late. Honestly, there just hasn't been much to write about - we all know the economy sucks and Obama doesn't take office for another month, but thankfully there's always one issue that's sure to spring up every couple months - the gays!

Outside of the election, this is probably the most frequent topic here at American Razor and it just makes me even more angry every time I have to talk about it. I still have no idea why this is even an issue and why we can't just leave gay people alone, but two occurrences have brought the topic back to the forefront.

First, Barack Obama selected Pastor Rick Warren to deliver the prayer or whatever the hell it is they call it at his inauguration. Warren supported Prop 8, which we all know banned gay marriage in California and homosexuals are upset that Obama would select him for this role. The media - dying to undercut Obama before inauguration like they did with Clinton - has pounced on this story and made it out to be this huge thing. Here's the bottom line - 99% of these well-known religious "leaders" are a bunch of raving lunatics that have at least one belief that will piss off at least one minority. Obama's pandering, no question, and he needed someone that would appease the crazies that thought Jeremiah Wright would be there screaming "kill whitey" while delivering the prayer. Still, pretty lame on Obama's part to throw these people a bone when that style of religious politics was rejected with extreme force when he won the election in a landslide.

The other part of this story was that the Pope came out this week and said gays must be saved in the same essence that the rainforest must be saved. On one hand, I'm kinda happy that the Catholic Church believes the rainforest needs to be saved - there are a lot of nutjobs out there that think it's totally okay to ravage the planet because Jesus is coming really soon and it won't matter if we trash the place; all the good Christians will get to go to Heaven and those silly Jews and the other sinners can tidy up afterwards. But on the other hand, the guy that runs around in his flowing robes, magic wands and fabulous hats is equating gays to the destruction of the planet, which is offensive on about 47 different levels.

Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Liberace I

I'm not going to beat the dead horse - I've made my feelings on gay marriage and mixing politics with religion abundantly clear over the last few months and every time I ask a very simple question - why is gay marriage an issue? Give me one, single, solitary reason why we're still talking about this and why any straight person would actually waste a portion of their life to oppose something that will never have any impact on them whatsoever. Honestly, if one person could ever provide me with a legitimate, legal reason as to why gay marriage should remain illegal, I will at least entertain the thought. Until then, I will maintain my position that there is no excuse for this kind of discrimination and anyone who opposes gay marriage is either incredibly naive, closed-minded, bigoted or just plain stupid. Sometimes all of the above.

Merry Christmas (and Happy Holidays) to all and for my religious friends like the Pope, remember that nice Christmas tradition of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men... even if they have sex with other men.

God & Government

In case you haven't seen it reported on the news, Senator Elizabeth Dole (wife of former presidential candidate Bob Dole), is in danger of losing her job come election day. In a true act of complete desperation, Sen. Dole put out an ad linking her opponent Kay Hagan to an atheist group and the ad ends with a picture of Hagen and a woman's voice saying "there is no god!" Of course, the voice is not Hagan's, but it's certainly the message that the smear is trying to convey. Here, see for yourself:

Pretty disgusting. Hagan has no "godless" connections, in reality (where the non-Republicans live), she's an ex-Sunday school teacher. But you know what, even if Hagan were some godless atheist - who cares?! Let's read that silly little thing called the Constitution again:

no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.

Oh how I wish that were true. We like to say there's a separation of church and state, but we all know that an atheist or an agnostic has no chance at higher office in this country. Sure would be nice though, someone governing based on personal morals and principles rather than their warped vision of a belief structure, but when Sarah Palin is possibly three days away from becoming Vice President, I have no hope for that scenario.

Look at what religion has done to our country, just in the last eight years we've been ravaged by a bunch of complete lunatics that think God is talking to them. 9/11 was religiously motivated, George W. Bush claimed he had superpowers when he saw Vladimir Putin's soul, he also said that God told him to invade Iraq. Religious nutjobs got Bush reelected in 2004, how's that working out for us? And now, thanks to John McCain's maverickosity, we get someone even worse than Bush in Governor Avon Lady.

Sarah Palin belongs to a church that believes in witches... literally. I'm sorry, that has nothing to do with morals and values, that's just stupid. We've had eight years of this "values" nonsense and it has affected every facet of our culture from Janet Jackson's tit at the Super Bowl to the Ten Commandments being displayed on public property to women's rights being on the verge of being stripped away to homosexuals being treated as second-class citizens just because their bedroom behavior doesn't meet the standards of people like Sarah Palin.

A little less God would do our government a lot of good. To be honest, I really don't think Barack Obama or John McCain are all that religious; pure speculation on my part, but I think Obama sees the church as a way to unite people around improving their community and I think McCain sees religion as a way to get votes from the people that reelected Bush. For the sake of our country, I hope that they're both lying when they talk about how devout they are, but the scary thing is, I know Sarah Palin is not. This woman isn't just your average Christian who is trying to live her life by the teachings of Christ, she's a theocrat like Mike Huckabee who thinks we should change the Constitution so that it fits "God's" will. Of course, her god is an ultra-corrupt bigot that wants to tell you how to live your life.

This notion that a person isn't fit for office because they don't believe in God turns my stomach. Honestly, I think the more devout you are, the less qualified you are to be serving our secular nation - if you want to preach, get out of the governor's mansion and go to church. There's a place in our culture for religion and if that's what gets you through the day, fantastic, but when it comes to our government, the Elizabeth Dole ad is right - there is no God.

The Palin Project - Volume 4: The God Delusion

I'm sure you recall a few months back when Barack Obama came under intense scrutiny for his association with the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, who had previously made several incendiary comments about the United States, specifically in relation to the September 11 attacks where he screamed "God damn America!" Now, Sarah Palin's connection with her church is being investigated, I'm sure nothing will come out of it from the "liberal" media, but anything going on in her church is far more offensive than anything Wright ever said. Oh I'm sure I'm going to catch heat for this one, but someone's got to say it - they won't make too much of an issue about it in the mainstream, but that's because Palin's church is all white, so it's alright!

Let's talk about Wright first; here's a man who was born in 1941 in Pennsylvania, the guy grew up seeing racism in it's ugliest form and still served in the armed forces - joining the United States Marine Corps, the US Navy and was assigned to Lyndon B. Johnson's personal medical team - and the media manages to turn him into some America-hating monster. See the problem people had with Wright was that he spoke the harsh truth about this country, and America can't handle it when someone starts talking some real shit, especially a black guy. Wright grew up in the middle of Jim Crow America and this country doesn't like to think too much about those days even though they've only been over for about forty years. It's hard to imagine a time, not that long ago, where black people were forced into separate but "equal" living standards, young people may not think about it too much but the effects are still felt to this day.

This went on until 1965.

So imagine being a young black kid living in a horrifically racist country and right around when Jim Crow was starting to die out, the same country starts sending off young men and women to fight in Vietnam, that might just have an impact on your worldview. Jeremiah Wright grew up in a time where he saw blacks being forced to live differently and then saw people forced to go fight in the most pointless war in this country's history. When he made those comments about 9/11, that's what he was talking about, he was talking about America's history coming back to haunt us.

I know it's uncomfortable to think about, it's unpleasant, but I got news for you, the terrorists don't hate us for our freedom, no matter how many times the Republicans say it. We were attacked on 9/11 because not everyone in the world thinks we should have troops stationed throughout the Middle East. Now look, I'm not saying we invited the 9/11 attacks, but to think that it wasn't the result of certain foreign policy decisions is just infantile and Rudy Giulianish (yeah, I just made that word up). America has done things the rest of the world hasn't particularly cared for - the last eight years being a prime example - so we have to start looking at these things as mature adults and hold our politicians accountable for their blunders.

Now, Wright's comments haunted Obama for several weeks once the videos came out, but I can guarantee you'll never hear as much about Sarah Palin's church. Why? Because it preaches to the choir of religious whackjobs that have hijacked this country over the last seven years. Palin attends the Wasilla Bible Church where attendees speak in tongues, believe in the Rapture, and it's also a place where you can "pray the gay away." This could be your next Vice President, folks.

Of course, homophobia is a-okay in the US of A, a scary black man screaming about foreign policy blunders is not. Yeah, thinking about bad things America has done just makes us sad, let's gay-bash to get closer to Jesus and feel all better! But that's not all, Sarah Palin has spoken at this church and has said some stuff that is flat-out batshit insane. According to Palin, the war in Iraq is "God's plan" and the church-goers should "pray to get a gasline built in Alaska." That's right kids, Sarah Palin wants you to pray for God's will - a pipeline - you know God has a deep interest in getting more oil money to Alaska.

If you think the biggest foreign policy blunder in American history since Vietnam is "God's plan," and you ask Jesus for a pipeline, you're a fucking moron and you don't get to be Vice President. Also, if you believe in the whole speaking in tongues thing, you are certifiably insane and should be committed. You have a voice in your head, that isn't God, it's schizophrenia. So this means one of two things for Palin specifically - either she believes all this shit too and should be committed, or she's exploiting these mentally ill people for political gain - either way, she's not fit to lead this country ever.

Religion and politics do not mix well and in these last seven years, they've been getting way too close for comfort. Do you truly want your country run by someone who thinks the Four Horsemen will descend upon Earth, bring forth the Apocalypse and the rest of the country will find refuge in Alaska? Yeah, for all you losers who don't get to go home with Jesus, they think you'll get to hang out in Alaska for the rest of time, so we need God to tap into their natural resources!

Contrast this with Rev. Wright, who definitely said some things that make us uncomfortable, but he was still talking policy and making sense. As harsh as those things were, he wasn't talking about the Rapture or asking parishioners to pray for a natural gas pipeline so he could line the state's pockets. This is the kind of stuff I would normally laugh at and say, "wow, people in Alaska are really nuts," but this woman could be within a heartbeat of running the entire free world!

We've had eight years of this and Palin may be even more religious than George Bush: she thinks abortions should be outlawed even if the woman were raped by her own father, she opposes stem cell research, against gay rights, thinks creationism should be taught in schools, anti-gambling, opposes comprehensive sex education (despite that whole pregnant teenage daughter thing), attempted to ban books from the library, and wants to recognize "America's Christian heritage" (even though our Founding Fathers had the foresight to include separation of Church and State). Yet she opposes protecting wildlife (they are God's creatures) and mocks faith-based community organizing.

Palin is just another moral-crusading asshole who wants to control how you run your life so it fits in with her particular form of indoctrination. The media had a field day with Obama's ex-pastor, but yet nobody has called Palin out for her special brand of lunacy. If these are the kinds of things they teach in that church, America should be scared; we don't need another four or eight years of this nonsense, but we may just get it. Hell, she probably has her church praying for McCain to win right after they finish praying for that pipeline. But like I said, no one's going to talk about this because it's perfectly acceptable to be this kind of crazy in America - white, bigoted and believe they have superpowers because they pray to the invisible man in the clouds that wants us to kill people in the desert. The Constitution says there will be no religious test for office, so these beliefs should not disqualify her from public office, but her desire to mix her religion and her public office should. Sarah Palin is not qualified in any shape or form to be the Vice President of the United States.

You know, the only person Jesus ever condemned was the hypocrite? Sarah Palin needs to look in a fucking mirror.

Here's the video of this lunacy... remember, just one heartbeat away from running the free world:

Unintelligent Design

Despite numerous states striking down similar laws, Louisiana has passed the Louisiana Science Education Act, a new bill that "would allow local school boards to approve supplemental classroom materials specifically for the critique of scientific theories." I'll give you one guess as to what theory they want to "critique" - Evolution, of course. Oh Christ, here we go again.

Make no mistake, this new bill is nothing but Trojan Horse legislation, designed for fundamentalist teachers, parents and school officials to get around creationism being laughed out of most science classrooms. Once again, giving us the tired excuse that evolution is a "theory," not a fact. Of course, if any of these nutjobs understood science at all, they would know that the word "theory" in science does not mean "guess." Gravity is a theory, I don't see Louisiana objecting to that one, do you? Hopefully there will be enough parents in Louisiana who get involved and hand out "supplemental classroom materials" that offer the critique that Intelligent Design is not a scientific theory - it's pseudoscience that can never be proven.

Sorry kids, in a science classroom, an invisible man in the clouds creating oceans, mountains, trees and people just doesn't hold up. You cannot conduct experiments to judge whether or not there's some divine creator; you can however conduct experiments on evolution. I don't even understand why religious folk are even trying to fight this battle on a scientific front with things like the Creation Museum - you can't prove the existence of God. In all fairness, you shouldn't have to, that's why you have faith, and good for you - but faith is not science.

Creationism or The Flintstones? You decide.

Is evolution 100% fact? No, of course not. It's always good to question theories and conduct different experiments, but if the only opposing theory right now is the invisible man that is all powerful and can create a world, then I'm going to be more inclined to providing money to research evolution, which is backed up by mountains of facts and evidence.

But my whole purpose for writing this was not to get into the controversies of evolution, it's more to raise awareness of the lunacy that religious fundamentalists are trying to push into the public classroom - which we all have to pay for through our taxes.

In May, substitute teacher Jim Piculas, was fired because he performed "wizardry" in front of his middle school classroom. The spell? The man made a toothpick disappear and reappear - sleight of hand... like when your goofy uncle made the quarter appear from behind your ear when you were a kid. This is how pathetic and stupid we've become as a society that a silly magic trick is considered wizardry and gets someone fired from their job - this would make sense if it were 1682, but we're living in the year 2008. If we keep up with this kind of lunacy, don't be surprised when science teachers get burned at the stake for witchcraft when they mix Diet Coke and Mentos.

I can guarantee that story came from some kid going home and telling his or her mom or dad that the teacher did a magic trick in class and then their crazy, fundamentalist parents called the school and complained. These are the kind of people that claim Harry Potter promotes Satanic worship and we allow these kinds of lunatics to raise children. They'll believe anything they hear on Sunday without any sort of evidence, but will challenge one of the most widely-accepted scientific theories out there?

I'm sorry to call religion brainwashing, but it is. No rational-thinking adult would sit down and read the evidence supporting evolution and then the ideas of creationism and be inclined to believe the latter. The only way organized religion works is because people get hooked when they're young - just like with cigarettes. Children hear about Santa Claus and then watch cartoons filled with talking animals, mythical creatures and people with superpowers, of course they're going to believe you if you tell them there's an invisible man living in the clouds who watches everything you do and knows everything you think. It's just like Santa!

Religion stops people from thinking - it's very much "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain," a lot of smoke and mirrors to control people's behavior. Religion operates under the guise of morality, but when it comes to religious people shaping public policy, it has nothing to do with morals - just the world they want to create for themselves. And that gets to be very dangerous when these people get into public office because we see things like this ruling in Louisiana or guys like Mike Huckabee who say crazy shit like, "I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards."

Look, I don't care what you believe - Jesus, Allah, G-d, Vishnu, Buddha, Xenu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever gets you through the day, just keep it out of our government, because while you believe in a book with talking snakes, I don't. We all share this country together - this fine country with that nice little separation of church and state that means you are allowed to believe anything you want and the government won't interfere with it - but it would be really nice if some of you fundamentalists would return the favor.