There is no argument against gay marriage

If you follow this blog regularly, you know one of the most frequent topics is the issue of gay marriage. People tell me I shouldn't worry about it so much, I'm straight, why should I care, etc. The bottom line is the simple fact that the law applies to everyone equally or it applies to no one. The 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law and the 1967 Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia made it explicitly clear that marriage is a basic civil right for all human beings.

I generally shy away from using this kind of language, but not with this topic: there is absolutely no logical or legal reason why gay marriage should remain illegal. None. I've outlined this in multiple blogs and any time the subject comes up, I always ask for a reason to oppose it and no one can do it. Any argument I've ever heard can be immediately debunked by anyone with even the most basic understanding of law and state-sanctioned marriage. My highest education is learning how to talk for a living and I can counter any argument raised by people who oppose same-sex marriage. Imagine what would happen if two brilliant lawyers tackle the subject...

Oh wait, they have. Ted Olson and David Boies, who argued against each other in the infamous Supreme Court case, Bush v. Gore, have teamed up to take this fight to the federal level. Finally! It's time to stop worrying about individual states going through a long, drawn-out process and end this nonsense once and for all. Here's a great video of Olson & Boies appearing on Hardball, how can you possibly argue against the points they raise?

Sinking to new lows

Gay marriage has been legalized in five states: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and Maine; New York and New Hamsphire could be added to the list very soon. So here we are, 10% of the states in the union recognize same-sex marriage and society has not collapsed onto itself. Straight marriages aren't threatened, the "family unit" has not come unraveled and the only difference seems to be that gay people are enjoying (or will soon be enjoying) the same rights as everyone else. That is of course, if you don't pay attention to the right-wing, who have lost their collective shit. Take a look:



Watching that video makes me literally nauseous, I'm not kidding. To paraphrase the video, when I have to listen to scumbags like Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Pat Robertson, I want to puke. These are despicable human beings and they should be ashamed of themselves (if they had shame) for spreading this kind of bigotry. "The Gay Gestapo?" Seriously? Yeah, God forbid someone call you out on your hate and intolerance, you phony moral crusaders. A few months back, I said that people who make these kind of arguments are subhuman and it's sad that I even need to discuss it now, but apparently the wingnuts aren't going to let it go. These smears, lies and distortions are all patently false and I'm going to put these disgusting arguments to rest right now.

Gay marriage is not going to lead to polygamy. As it stands right now, there is nothing illegal about a married man or woman bringing a third, fourth or fifteenth partner into their home. Many people live in open marriages and if they choose to do that, that is their own decision as consenting adults. But the state legally recognizing a plural marriage will lead to several complications that would not be present in a monogamous gay or straight marriage. We provide tax incentives to married couples, if the state recognized a plural marriage, those incentives would double with each additional spouse, which would create all kinds of tax issues. Welfare and immigration abuse would skyrocket; we already have enough problems with people getting married simply to secure immigration status, now imagine if someone could turn it into a business. A man could theoretically charge immigrants to marry him so they could become citizens of this country. Also, think of how messy divorce is in America when it's just two people, imagine a court wasting time, resources and taxpayer money trying to figure out paternity rights, division of property, alimony and inheritance for three, four, or ten partners... the cons far outweigh the pros for legalizing polygamy.

Gay marriage will not lead to man-child marriage for one simple reason, pedophilia is illegal. Children are not in any position to give legal consent, and even if they think they would want to marry an adult, that's why we have statutory rape laws in place. Gay marriage, just like straight marriage, will be between consenting adults.

Despite what Bill O'Reilly fantasizes, gay marriage will not lead to a man marrying a turtle, bestiality is illegal. Animals have none of the legal rights that humans do, they cannot enter into any legal contract, including marriage. Having sex with an animal is animal abuse, and much like with pedophilia, animals cannot give legal consent, so there's no legal argument to be made here.

These concerns being raised are completely insane and it further proves the bigotry of those who oppose gay marriage. Yes, if you use these arguments, you are a bigot, plain and simple. They're trying to equate homosexuality with various perversions and fetishes, to give the impression that there's something wrong with a gay person. There's nothing wrong with gay people, but I think the above video shows the only perverts in this debate are the twisted deviants who make these kind of arguments.

Spoiler alert: when you support bigotry, you'll be on the wrong side of history. Just like our treatment of the American Indian, our usage of slavery, suppression of women's rights, Jim Crow laws, and the internment of Japanese citizens during World War II, the fact that we even needed to have this debate about gay rights will be looked back on with shame and disgust. Gay marriage will be legal in this country, hopefully sooner than later, but it will happen... You can't stop social progress, those who try will always lose.

Miss Bigot

I really didn't want to write about this, I didn't want to give her any more attention, she's already got way more than she deserves, but then "Miss California" Carrie Prejean just had to go and say this:

I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, "Do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me and you need to share with all these people . . . you need to witness to them and you need to show that you're not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA." And I knew right here that it wasn't about winning. It was about being true to my convictions.

Yep... Satan's fault. Couldn't possibly be the fact that you're a closed-minded bigot, that pesky Satan was tempting you at a beauty pageant! So apparently if you support gay marriage, you're doing the devil's work. Wow. You stay classy Christian conservatives!

This false sense of importance from evangelicals never ceases to amaze me. Yes, you're so important than Satan personally chose to tempt you with a question about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant. I'm sorry, but when you say things like that, you should probably be committed to a mental institution. This isn't morality, you're just crazy. And while I'm on the subject doesn't the far-right already have enough intellectually-challenged, beauty pageant losers running around spreading their wacky religious beliefs?

Let me be clear, I couldn't possibly care any less about this whole "feud" (I'm rolling my eyes as I type that) with Perez Hilton. I think the world would be a better place without Perez Hilton's celebrity gossip and the Miss USA pageant, both things are complete wastes of time and I can't fathom how anyone could give a shit about either one of them. Seriously, what purpose do beauty pageants serve? Much like how there isn't a single reason to oppose gay marriage, I don't think there's a single reason to support beauty pageants.

Anyway, my problem isn't with her response to the question, it's with Prejean seizing an opportunity for fifteen minutes of fame, hopping on the homophobic bandwagon to promote the National Organization for Marriage. Much like Joe Wurzelbacher, Carrie Prejean is a know-nothing nobody. Her opinion is no more valid than mine (although I do have the ability to speak in complete sentences) yet no one can attack her because she just stated her opinion? Please. She's whining about her freedom of speech, but I got news for you, freedom of speech doesn't mean anything you say gets to go unchallenged. The Grand Wizard of the KKK has an opinion, that doesn't mean people don't get to call him a racist.

This vapid bimbo is nothing more than Anita Bryant 2.0, but unfortunately, no one has hit her in the face with a pie yet. Hiding behind her disgusting interpretation of Christianity, Prejean will continue to spread her bigotry because it gives her the attention she desperately seeks. Making yourself a star at the expense of someone else's rights, I guess a pretty face can't cover up an ugly soul.

The funniest damn thing I've ever seen

Just thought I'd share this little slice of hilarity with you:

How does this affect you?! HOW?! Give me one reason why someone's gay marriage affects you in any way, shape or form and I'll never raise the issue again. The right-wing has completely lost its damn mind.

Save the Gays!

I apologize for the lack of updates as of late. Honestly, there just hasn't been much to write about - we all know the economy sucks and Obama doesn't take office for another month, but thankfully there's always one issue that's sure to spring up every couple months - the gays!

Outside of the election, this is probably the most frequent topic here at American Razor and it just makes me even more angry every time I have to talk about it. I still have no idea why this is even an issue and why we can't just leave gay people alone, but two occurrences have brought the topic back to the forefront.

First, Barack Obama selected Pastor Rick Warren to deliver the prayer or whatever the hell it is they call it at his inauguration. Warren supported Prop 8, which we all know banned gay marriage in California and homosexuals are upset that Obama would select him for this role. The media - dying to undercut Obama before inauguration like they did with Clinton - has pounced on this story and made it out to be this huge thing. Here's the bottom line - 99% of these well-known religious "leaders" are a bunch of raving lunatics that have at least one belief that will piss off at least one minority. Obama's pandering, no question, and he needed someone that would appease the crazies that thought Jeremiah Wright would be there screaming "kill whitey" while delivering the prayer. Still, pretty lame on Obama's part to throw these people a bone when that style of religious politics was rejected with extreme force when he won the election in a landslide.

The other part of this story was that the Pope came out this week and said gays must be saved in the same essence that the rainforest must be saved. On one hand, I'm kinda happy that the Catholic Church believes the rainforest needs to be saved - there are a lot of nutjobs out there that think it's totally okay to ravage the planet because Jesus is coming really soon and it won't matter if we trash the place; all the good Christians will get to go to Heaven and those silly Jews and the other sinners can tidy up afterwards. But on the other hand, the guy that runs around in his flowing robes, magic wands and fabulous hats is equating gays to the destruction of the planet, which is offensive on about 47 different levels.

Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Liberace I

I'm not going to beat the dead horse - I've made my feelings on gay marriage and mixing politics with religion abundantly clear over the last few months and every time I ask a very simple question - why is gay marriage an issue? Give me one, single, solitary reason why we're still talking about this and why any straight person would actually waste a portion of their life to oppose something that will never have any impact on them whatsoever. Honestly, if one person could ever provide me with a legitimate, legal reason as to why gay marriage should remain illegal, I will at least entertain the thought. Until then, I will maintain my position that there is no excuse for this kind of discrimination and anyone who opposes gay marriage is either incredibly naive, closed-minded, bigoted or just plain stupid. Sometimes all of the above.

Merry Christmas (and Happy Holidays) to all and for my religious friends like the Pope, remember that nice Christmas tradition of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men... even if they have sex with other men.

Over The Rainbow

Last week, I brought up the subject of the latest attempt to federally ban gay marriage and the hypocrisy of many Republicans who call it "Defense of Marriage." It's hard to take these people seriously when they're involved in all these seedy sex scandals of their own, but what about regular folk? According to polls, the majority of this country opposes gay marriage and not all of them are a bunch of crooked, hypocritical politicians, so maybe we should ban it? That's one way to look at it... that way being the wrong one.

To this day, with all of the controversy and all of the back and forth arguments between gay marriage, civil unions, constitutional amendments and all that, I have still never heard a single logical argument against gay marriages. Please, I'm begging you, if you have a logical argument against gay marriage, leave it in a comment below because I'd love to hear it and then tell you why you're so horribly wrong. There is no reason for this to be an issue and it's just absurd that it even has to enter the public discourse. One, if you're not gay, who cares? This doesn't affect you in any way, shape or form so shut the fuck up. But since "shut the fuck up" doesn't enter the public policy dialogue very often, I'm going to run down the list of common arguments against gay marriage and then rip them to shreds:

-The Bible says it's wrong!
Well, the Bible says lots of things, like how you can not only own a slave, but beat them as badly as you'd like without killing them in the process. But I understand, your religion of choice opposes gay marriage and therefore they shouldn't have to perform a marriage between two men or two women, fair enough. Unfortunately, most people are too dense to realize that marriage isn't just a religious joining of two people before the eyes of God - it's a legal contract. I could go down to the courthouse on Monday morning and get married, but a gay person can't - that's wrong. A church has every right to deny something that goes against their beliefs, but the government has no religion and it's wrong to deny a group of citizens something that anyone else can get.

-Marriage is sacred!
Says who? If you take a look around lately, you'll see that it's anything but. Our society has a 50% divorce rate, we have TV shows like Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, and celebrities get married at lunch and are divorced by dinner, where's the sacred part come in?

-Gay Couples can't have children!
Well then straight people who are infertile or sterile aren't allowed to marry either. If they are already married and become sterile, they must divorce immediately. And of course, this argument is complete bullshit because of things like adoption and in vitro fertilization. Which leads us to...

-Children need a mother and father!
Then every single parent must have their children removed and placed into protective custody immediately. Don't give me that shit that gay couples can't raise children - they can, they do and in many instances, do it better than straight couples. You see, gay couples can't physically have children, so when they adopt or go through other methods, it's because they genuinely want children, unlike a lot of straight couples who forget to put a condom on. Who would you rather have raise children, two people who have to jump numerous hurdles from the government just so they can love their child or two people who weren't planning on having kids, but had an accident and now they have to?

-Gay marriage will lead to bestiality and pedophilia becoming acceptable lifestyles!
Fuck you sideways with a rusty corkscrew. I've actually heard people say this and if you subscribe to this notion, then just do us all a favor and blow your fucking brains out. Homosexual marriage, like their hetero counterparts, occurs between two grown adults signing a contract. Anyone who says it's going to lead to "human-dog" marriage doesn't understand that animals can't sign contracts or give consent and neither can children. It's sad that this point even needs to be countered because it tries to lump homosexuality in with these two things when they're not even remotely comparable. Anyone who says anything like this does not belong in the public discourse and I'm ashamed to share a planet with them.

-But it's a state's right to ban gay marriage!
It shouldn't be. If you're straight and you get married in Utah, that marriage counts in New Mexico, Hawaii, Alabama and the other 46 states. If you're gay and you live in one of the very few places that allow gay marriage, it's null and void if you move out of that state. That's bullshit. Marriage is something guaranteed to every straight adult in this country regardless of race or religion - shit, in some states they let you marry your fucking cousin! But not if you're gay. How's that for a sacred institution - it's perfectly legal to marry your first cousin in Alabama or Georgia, but can't have any of those gays running around getting hitched!

-Okay... but can't we just call them "Civil Unions?"
No, fuck you. How would you like it if someone called what you did in your bedroom a "civil union?" Civil Union... we ended that kind of nonsense forty years ago when it was called "separate but equal." Let me guess, you want gays to drink from a different water fountain than you too?

Sorry kids, but outside of various religious dogma, there are no arguments against gay marriage. I hate to sound like a broken record, but we have that neat little separation of church and state so that the government can't make laws based on religious belief. This illogical intolerance of homosexuals is not unlike what we saw during the height of segregation and Jim Crow - the violence is toned down (slightly), but the attitude is still there. Is this really the kind of society you want to live in where it's okay to exclude others just because you're uncomfortable by the thought of boys kissing? Grow the fuck up.

Do as I say, not who I do

So I get the feeling I may have offended some of my friends with my previous blog about how organized religion is brainwashing and how teaching Intelligent Design in schools is really, really stupid. I stand by both of those statements, but don't take it as me saying I'm some stone cold atheist - I'm not, I just think that if there is a god, it's something a bit more complicated than the fairy tale versions we've passed down from generation to generation. I also think Jesus Christ is a terrific role model and that brings us to today's topic: ignorant shit that gets carried out in his name. The whole point behind the previous entry was to emphasize why religion and government should never mix, because it always ends up with some horrible idea getting shoved down everyone's throat, like the issue of gay marriage.

Yes, once again the Federal Marriage Amendment has come up - idiotic politicians, legislating bigotry, are trying to get a constitutional amendment to ban all gay marriage. Of course, George W. Bush tried this '04 and it got laughed out of congress, which will happen this time around as well, but the funny part this time is who is sponsoring the bill - Senators Larry Craig (R-Idaho) and David Vitter (R-LA)!

Not familiar with these two Republican assclowns? Well, Larry Craig was arrested last year for soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom through the code of tapping your foot underneath the adjoining stall - his excuse was his "wide stance." David Vitter was linked to a New Orleans prostitution ring. You can't make this shit up folks, these are the guys who are going to "protect marriage?" They can't even protect their own and they're worried about what gay people do in the privacy of their own homes?

It's just another example in the long list of Republican hypocrisies when it comes to sex, it seems those who speak out on something so much are doing it themselves. Hey, you know what would be really fun? Let's go down the list (like Larry Craig goes down in airport... well you know the joke I'm getting at here). Here's a brief list of some hypocritical politicians caught with their pants down, I would list them all, but Blogger doesn't provide that much space:

Dr. David Hager
The Man - Hager, an obstetrician-gynecologist, was a Bush apointee to the FDA who strongly opposed abortion, emergency contraception and premarital sex. He was once considered one of America's finest Christian physicians and a leading authority on women's health.
The "Wide Stance" Moment - Hager's ex-wife from a 32 year marriage came out after their divorce and stated that between the years of 1995 and 2002, Hager would anally rape her in her sleep. Hager's response? "He missed," clearing up that it's perfectly okay to rape your wife in the traditional sense and that a leading authority of women's health couldn't find his own wife's vagina after 32 years of marriage.

Mark Foley
The Man - Florida congressman who fought against child molestation and exploitation. He introduced a bill titled the "Child Modeling Exploitation prevention Act of 2002" to combat child pornography and teamed up with America's Most Wanted to help strengthen the laws against child predators.
The "Wide Stance" Moment - Foley resigned from congress in 2006 after it was revealed that he was sending sexually explicit instant messages and e-mails to teenage boys working as congressional pages. Foley blamed the messages on his drinking problem, as I'm sure many of you have gotten wasted and solicited minors for gay sex.

Bill O'Reilly
The Man - C'mon, we all know this moral crusading asshole.
The "Wide Stance" Moment - O'Reilly, the self-professed "traditionalist," was accused of sexual harrassment by Andrea Mackris when she claimed O'Reilly would call her and suggest various things he would like to do with her - during one conversation she alleged he was using a vibrator on himself while talking to her.

Strom Thurmond
The Man - The segregationist senator who opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1957 and yet remained in office until his death in 2003.
The "Wide Stance" Moment - Thurmond had an illegitimate black daughter in 1925 born to a 16 year old maid in the Thurmond household when he was 22. A black maid in 1920s South Carolina? Gee, I wonder what would have happened to her if she said no?

Jim West
The Man - The former mayor of Spokane, Washington who supported several anti-gay laws, many that would ban homosexuals from working in schools and day care centers.
The "Wide Stance" Moment - West was accused of sexually molesting two young boys while working as a sheriff's deputy and a boy scout leader and later admitted to seeking out gay sex via the internet.

And that's just the five that I thought were the most infuriating. And we're worried about what gay people are doing in their own private lives while corrupt scumbags like this are running our country, our health care and influencing voters via radio and television? We'll talk more about gay marriage in the future, but regardless of your feelings on it, how could you want to be on the same side as the people like those listed above? For these lunatics that use the Bible as their reason for persecuting against gays, maybe they should remember that the only person Jesus ever condemned was the hypocrite.