A quick heads up - in the next few days, I'm going to be posting a piece on why I'm voting for Barack Obama. Not why I'm voting against John McCain, not why I'm voting Democratic, why I'm specifically voting for Barack Obama, so be on the lookout for that, I should have it posted by Sunday.
Now I'd like to talk about the biggest thing pissing me off today... Joe the Plumber, or as he should be known: Sam Wurzelbacher, the unlicensed plumber that is nothing but John McCain's desperate attempt to show he has a connection with the everyman! Yeah, you know all those everyday Joe Sixpacks out there that have a PUBLICIST! Are you fucking kidding me?! This douchebag has hired representation and is working on a book deal and a record deal to produce a country music album with Aaron Tippin.
I tried to let the Joe the Plumber thing go, it was painfully embarrassing to watch, but whatever, it's the kind of thing politicians do - put a face to an idea. But now this guy is out there with all this media, saying that an Obama presidency would be the "death of Israel," and even talking about running for congress... I can't take it anymore. So here's what I'm going to do, I'm publicly challenging Joe the Plumber to a debate. We're both Ohioans, we both feverishly support our candidates and we're both about as qualified to be Vice President as Sarah Palin.
If you're one of the seven or eight people that read this blog, tell your friends to tell their friends about this challenge. Hopefully, it'll get back to Joe (you can even tell him that I called him a douchebag) and he'll agree to it. I'll go anywhere - Toledo, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Cincinnati, even Defiance, OH... Joe can name the place, he can name the venue, he can even pack the crowd full of Republicans, just make sure there's a camera there to tape it and a moderator from that wacky liberal media. I guaran-damn-tee that I know more about the American political system than JTP and I want to expose this guy as nothing but empty overalls, plucked from obscurity by the McCain campaign and presented to me as what "Real America" supposedly is.
Joe Wurzelbacher is not an accurate representation of the average American, he's a puppet that is milking his fifteen minutes of fame for all its worth. He's a fraud, a shill, and I'm pretty sure utterly clueless as to what he's talking about. I'm so sick of the political process being turned into a pageant, we're talking about the direction of the free world, not what makes a cute story to make up for your sagging poll numbers and your complete absence of an agenda for getting the country back on track. Joe the Plumber is a joke, and I would love the opportunity to prove it. So how bout it? Wouldn't you like to see two "average" Americans from a crucial swing state debate the issues just days before the election? Well, I don't have a pending record contract, so I don't know if I'm as average as Joe, but hopefully he can make time in his busy schedule for the little people.
C'mon, if we're going to spend the last five days of the election turning it into a circus, let's get serious about it!