Take a look at this picture of Sarah Palin, soon to be former governor of Alaska. The biggest loss from that news is that I won't get to call her "Governor Avon Lady" anymore, but according to Time Magazine, I guess I should start calling her "The Renegade." Yeah, that pesky "liberal media" is at it again, tearing down poor Sarah Palin by giving her all sorts of press, taking photos of her looking all nifty on a pier and giving her a super cool moniker like "Renegade." Lorenzo Lamas' career is spinning in its grave.
How does Webster's Dictionary define the term "renegade?"
an individual who rejects lawful or conventional behavior
Well, I guess considering her numerous ethics complaints and the fact that she's out of her goddamn mind, maybe Time is onto something. But that's the literal definition, the media is portraying this as some sort of brilliant scheme that's prepping her for the 2012 election, they're even saying she's taking "the road less traveled," like she's the subject of a friggin' Robert Frost poem. Trust me, Quitty McGee ain't that deep. "Renegade" implies some sort of badass trait, something that sets her apart from the pack, puh-lease.
Sarah Palin is not a renegade, she's not all "mavericky," she's just another Republican. Someone tried to tell me the other day that she's the "new flavor" of politics... apparently the only flavor that person is familiar with is mushrooms because you'd have to be high to believe it. Sarah Palin is plain old Republican vanilla with a couple colorful sprinkles on top, she's the culmination of everything that's sucked about the Republican Party since Nixon. Take your pick: ethically corrupt, moral superiority, extreme arrogance, shallow, greedy, condescending, out of touch, privacy-invading, anti-intellectual, anti-science, anti-civil liberties, pro-war, and most important of all, a hypocrite. Sarah Palin takes all the worst qualities of the Republican Party and rolls it into one winking package.
Yes, she's worse than Bush. Say what you will about W, but "quitter" would never enter the discussion. After all the memos that have been released, I honestly have a bit of sympathy for Bush these days. Sure, he's still the worst president ever, but he just seems so gullible and naive, there's almost this innocent quality about him. I feel like W was a decent human being who thought he was doing good, but was surrounded by cretins like Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzalez, etc.
Palin, on the other hand, is all of Bush's worst qualities, mixed with the political ambition of Karl Rove and all the other criminals. She's dumb as a rock (apologies to rocks), a Jesus™ freak, and someone who thinks with her gut rather than her pea-sized brained like Bush; but then she's also a master manipulator, vindictive and just plain nasty like ol' Turd Blossom.
Renegade? Hardly. This woman is the GOP's Frankenstein.
Because one blog just isn't enough to celebrate this glorious occasion. I've gotten a bit of negative feedback on my comments about the soon ex-governor of Alaska, had my mental state called into question and have been mocked for writing a blog by another blogger. Seriously. Since you probably have a life, I'm sure you missed the Wingnut Defense Fund (WDF) come out and express their support for Sarah Palin abandoning the people of Alaska. Apparently resigning with 17 months to go in your first term is a good thing, who knew?
I have to admit, I was somewhat surprised by all these apologists coming out of the woodwork, Republicans typically throw their people under the bus at the first sign of trouble: Bobby Jindal was quickly forgotten after that abysmal speech he gave a few months back, everyone's so disappointed Mark Sanford's job after he went hiking the Appalachian Trail (my new favorite euphemism), Rush Limbaugh even said "he could've been our JFK," all but admitting that it was over for South Carolina's governor; but they're not willing to give up Sarah Palin. Oh no, even though she gave a mind-numbing, incoherent speech loaded with bullshit and hypocrisy, the Palin-drones just can't let it go. Like someone about to lose a family member, I believe these poor souls have entered the Five Stages of Grief. Sadly, most of them are stuck in the first two stages, anger & denial. Just find any political discussion on the internet, you'll see what I mean.
But speaking of denial, I did want to share one hilarious quote that I just read a few moments ago. This is from someone trying to convince me that Sarah Palin is a great speaker who actually has a clue what she's talking about:
"I've listened to her speak. She is able to communicate well regarding most any topic that is thrown at her, better than most politicians."
Pardon me while I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I've listened to her speak quite a bit as well and I hear a complete buffoon. It's like the time Bush tried to talk about tribal sovereignty every single time she gives a non-softball interview. Of course, it's hard to find a real interview post-election since she talks to the media less than reclusive celebrities, even though she's a sitting governor. But yeah, listen to any of her interviews during the campaign, there's really only one word to describe her: dummy.
She sounds like a middle school student who has to give a speech to the class, but forgot her note cards and is trying to remember all the neat buzzwords that she learned while researching the subject. She has no clue what she's talking about and she thinks she can get by with cute little winks or just dodging the question.
She's a bigger idiot than Bush, and that takes skill. At least with Bush, as dumb as he was, he seemed like a genuine person who cared about those closest to him and struggled with his decisions... not at all like Palin. Governor Avon Lady is 100% sure of herself 100% of the time and anyone who disagrees isn't a "Real" American. She exploits her children at any given opportunity for political gain (I've seen Bristol Palin give more interviews in one year than the Bush twins did in eight) and she's a vindictive, spiteful, and disingenuous political hack. Sarah Palin is a complete and utter joke; Alaska, America and the world are better off without her in any elected office.
And now for some bonus Palin hilarity. After calling politics a "bloodsport" and threatening to sue anyone who writes anything bad about her, let's hop in our DeLorean and see how Sarah Palin felt about Hillary Clinton's "whining" in March 2008:
ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Gov. Sarah Palin will resign her office in a few weeks, she said during a news conference at her Wasilla home Friday morning.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but these are happy tears! And I'm going to try to get through this blog even though I am at a loss for words... I'm just so happy!
July 4 is tomorrow, so I guess this is Palin's early birthday present to America? You know, I've saida lot of nastythingsabouther over the last year or so, but I have to give her credit for knowing exactly what to get everyone. The people of Alaska must be pretty thrilled too, maybe they'll finally have a governor who isn't ethically corrupt, morally corrupt, hypocritical or just plain stupid. But of course, what does this mean for their security? Perhaps Sarah can remain on in some capacity to keep an eye on Russia?
But as I think about it, it's one of those things that seems too good to be true, why is she resigning now? I've already seen this sparking rumors that this is so she can gear up for a presidential run... are you kidding? You can't just resign barely midway through your first term as governor and expect to run in an election that is three years away. I suppose stranger things have happened, but this should effectively kill her political career, unless she wants to be mayor of Wasilla again. If this is some desperate attempt to get attention for 2012, who would take her seriously? How could we trust a President Palin to not just run away when things got too hard? Economy in shambles? Wars? Terrorism? "Thanks, but no thanks!"
But then there's the flipside, potential scandal? Please, please, PLEASE tell me that the whole Argentinian mistress thing is a cover and it's actually Palin's Appalachian Trail that Mark Sanford has been hiking. C'mon, that would be the greatest political scandal in the history of political scandals! Plus, Sanford said the mistress was his soul mate, I can't think of a better woman for him than a brain dead, ultra-religious, neoconservative hypocrite.
Whatever the reason, in the midst of a major economic recession, two wars, and a country that's still stinging from eight years of a complete imbecile running the country, it's nice to get some good news. It's hard to believe it's been less than a year since John McCain unleashed her upon us, but hopefully Sarah Palin has finally got on the Bridge to Nowhere and we'll never have to deal with her again.
Why does Glenn Beck hate America? And FOX News is just as guilty by giving him a platform to agree with this disgusting rhetoric. Sponsors should pull their advertising from FOX and Glenn Beck should be fired... this goes beyond your typical idiot right-wing fear/hate mongering, this is calling for an attack on the United States of America simply because your guy didn't win an election.
It's time for right-wingers to grow up and accept the fact that sometimes you lose, but that's not an excuse to say the only way to fix it is for people to die. Seriously, this is the kind of lunacy usually reserved for whoever is behind the conspiracy on this season of 24. But of course, we all know Republicans get most of their policies from whatever Jack Bauer is up to. How anyone can take these scumbags seriously is beyond me.
This is why Bill Maher is smarter than the vast majority of the talking heads that infect TV news. Maybe it's not even that he's smarter, perhaps he just has the balls to speak the truth and doesn't twist himself into a partisan pretzel.
And he's absolutely right about all of it. Obama is trying too hard to please the Republicans... screw the Republicans! They had their chance, they broke America and left it for someone else to fix. That someone else is our current president and he'd be better suited ignoring these nimrods than trying to get us all to come together and "compromise," that's code for "do what the Republicans want."
And don't take this as me being partisan, watch: screw the Democrats too! The Democrats are so obsessed with becoming Republican Lite due to this myth of America being a "center-right" country, all they're doing is just slowing progress. As Maher said, we have no progressive party in this country, any true liberal politicians are looked at as jokes and our lazy media is too busy worrying about the latest adventures of Governor Avon Lady to do anything about it.
Since Maher brought up Sarah Palin in that interview, let's make fun of her. I wanted to write a blog about her "feud" with David Letterman, but then the thing just got so ridiculous that I wouldn't be able to write anything without putting my fist through my monitor. If you're curious about my feelings, here's a quick summary that will keep my blood pressure down:
-The joke was funny and every other late night host has told similar ones. -John McCain - Palin's runningmate - once called Chelsea Clinton "ugly." -If Sarah Palin wasn't such a shitty parent, the joke wouldn't have been made in the first place. These jokes aren't about making fun of the children, they're about making fun of the Governor for being a hypocrite. -Palin once again exploits her children for political gain. -Palin made accusations about Letterman that were far more offensive than his joke. -Shame on David Letterman for apologizing. -Palin should stay in Alaska and do her damn job... or at least only come to "Real" America. -Sarah Palin is a friggin' moron.
That about sums it up. I'm surprised I made it through that without using the c-word.
So yeah... President Obama, show us a little more Candidate Obama and don't worry about the Republicans, they're too busy killing their party from within. And put Sarah Palin on some kind of no-fly list while you're at it. It'll be good for America and the wildlife she shoots from her helicopter.
We were warned, but the right-wing media didn't want to listen. Two times in two weeks, terrorism on American soil, but clowns like Joe Scarborough just laughed off the warnings. How funny is it now, Joe?
Why can't the neocons just distance themselves from these murderers? Instead, they try to project it onto the Democrats, even going so far as to call the Holocaust Museum shooter a "leftist." James von Brunn (the shooter) called President Obama a "creation of the Jews," who was coming for his guns. Yeah, real bleeding-heart liberal.
Have the Republicans officially lost their minds? Instead of just coming out, condemning the tragedy and moving on, they have to play the blame game? Is Rush Limbaugh truly so desperate for attention that he thinks simply saying Von Brunn is a "leftist" will make it true? Anyone with half of a functioning brain (okay, that eliminates 90% of elected Republicans and right-wing commentators) can see this guy's political ideology is more in-line with hardcore Libertarianism. Not the fiscal conservative who wants to smoke pot Libertarian, I'm talking about the Libertarian living in a bunker surrounded by gold and various assault rifles.
Von Brunn is not a Republican, and no one is even suggesting he is. The reason the Republicans are so defensive right now is because they threw a fit over the DHS report that was 100% accurate. Republicans tried to use it as a wedge issue and make it sound like Barack Obama and Janet Napolitano were targeting anyone who identifies themselves as conservative. Never mind the report was authorized by the Bush Administration, the neocons saw it as a chance to gain some political points and now it has exploded in their collective face.
While the adults were talking about real threats facing our country, the Republicans were turning it into a spectacle, trying to find something (anything) that could maybe get them back in the driver's seat in Washington. By coming out against the report, Republicans inadvertantly aligned themselves with people who would shoot up a museum or assassinate a doctor in a church. Make no mistake, the museum shooting and the assassination of Dr. Tiller are acts of terrorism, but instead of fighting it, the Republicans continue to play political games.
Usually it's just fun to laugh at wingnuts; they're generally harmless, spewing shit so idiotic that no one in their right mind would ever pay attention to them. Whether it's Obama's birth certificate, his choice in mustard, gay marriage leading to the downfall of civilization, or they're named Glenn Beck... they're usually just silly old crazy people, like the kind you'd find pushing around a shopping cart, but not in a grocery store. Unfortunately, the ultra right-wing is growing increasingly frustrated as they become increasingly irrelevant and as a result, they're becoming more dangerous.
All this psychotic rage seemed to begin around the end of the presidential campaign when the McCain/Palin events became glorified hate rallies. We all remember McCain reining in the crazy old woman who called Obama an "Arab," but Governor Avon Lady didn't stop fanning the flames of wingnuttery when she started insinuating that her opponent was a "terrorist." With policemen (in uniform) and various religious leaders to help spread the smears as well, they set the table for the crazies to come feast.
But then it got scary, unlike when McCain reined in the racists at those campaign rallies, the Republicans embraced the tea parties and we got a glance at just how fucking insane this party has become. Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann wanted her contstituents "armed and dangerous," Texas Governor Rick Perry talked about seceding from the union and Republican strategist (and complete scumbag) Dick Morris, took a page out of G. Gordon Liddy's handbook and said, “Those crazies in Montana who say, ‘we’re going to kill ATF agents because the UN’s going to take over’ - well, they’re beginning to have a case.”
All this crazy boiled over earlier this week when Dr. George Tiller, a doctor who helped women and their families through an agonizing decision, was assassinated by a right-wing extremist. And then, several sick and demented psychopaths celebrated. I'm not going to get into the abortion debate here - if you agree with a woman's right to choose then I'd just be preaching to the choir; if you disagree, neither of us will convince the other otherwise - but if you think Dr. Tiller was performing these late-term abortions just because the mother "changed her mind," then you're a fucking moron. Pro-"life," but only if it's unborn... grown adults are apparently fair game, and killing them in church is a-okay too. Crazy and hypocritical... a dangerous combination.
But it doesn't stop there... in the last two days, a man is roaming around somewhere in the country, armed to the teeth and carrying a small fortune, plotting to assassinate the President of the United States. Today, a different man was arraigned in New York after plotting to "blow up" President Obama and Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. Mix this in with all these random shooting sprees that have been popping up all over the place and one might think this country has officially lost its goddamn mind.
A lot of people have placed part of the blame on Fox News, especially Bill O'Reilly, for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. As much as I'd like to blame them specifically, it goes much deeper than that. This culture of fear and paranoia has been growing since 9/11, partially because the Republicans have exploited it for political gain, partially because we still have a lot of racists and bigots living in this country and partially because we'll always have people who are just plain bonkers. That Homeland Security report about right-wing extremists (the one the Republicans went nuts over even though it was authorized by the Bush Administration) was spot-on, and I worry that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better.
Take a look at this picture of Sarah Palin, soon to be former governor of Alaska. The biggest loss from that news is that I won't get to call her "Governor Avon Lady" anymore, but according to Time Magazine, I guess I should start calling her "The Renegade." Yeah, that pesky "liberal media" is at it again, tearing down poor Sarah Palin by giving her all sorts of press, taking photos of her looking all nifty on a pier and giving her a super cool moniker like "Renegade." Lorenzo Lamas' career is spinning in its grave.
