So yesterday, you may have heard about some idiot on Facebook posting a poll called "Should Obama be killed?" Pretty serious stuff, but it's the internet, right? People post crazy stuff all the time and it's not fair to make assumptions about many people based on the actions of one. But what happens when an elected official does something similar, just less blatant?
Here's congressman Trent Franks (R-AZ), calling the President of the United States an "enemy of humanity."
What kind of message does that send to the lunatics from the teabagging crowd? You know the people with their signs like "We came unarmed... this time!" and "Obama's Plan = White Slavery," how do you think this kind of statement resonates with them? This goes beyond the right-wing's efforts to make the President seem illegitimate by saying things like he's "exotic" or "different," this is a government official telling people that the President of the United States is an enemy to our very existence.
Think I'm overreacting? What about the census worker who was found bound, gagged and hanged with the word "FED" carved into his chest last week? This, just a month or so after congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) claimed that filling out the census could lead to Americans being sent to internment camps, much like we did with Japanese-Americans during World War II.
Trent Franks is walking on very dangerous ground here. This is worse than the birth certificate numbskulls and makes "YOU LIE!" seem tame in comparison, Congressman Franks isn't saying Barack Obama is unfit for office, he's saying he's unfit for life. This isn't just a political disagreement, Franks is dehumanizing our democratically elected President, illustrating him as an evil monster. When you start using language like that, you're essentially telling people that it would be okay to assassinate the President. You're giving them the idea that they would be the hero, saving the "real Americans" from the threat of an enemy to humanity. With rhetoric like this, and the non-stop comparisons to Hitler, all it's going to take is one unbalanced lunatic to hear Trent Franks' words and create a very dangerous situation. Franks should resign immediately or be removed from office by the people of Arizona, language like this cannot be tolerated.
Showing posts with label wingnuts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wingnuts. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Why so serious?
Okay, I need a break. You'd be surprised, but tackling the insanity of the right-wing is exhausting when there's just so much of it. So today, I've decided to take on an easy target, this whole fad of Photoshopping Obama as The Joker:

Honestly, I don't really have a problem with this. I don't find it offensive, it's not like when the wingnuts try to make him look like Hitler, and making politicians look like cartoon villains is actually pretty funny:

See? Hilarious! But Jokerbama? I think these posters are good evidence that right-wingers aren't particularly deep and not a lot of thought goes into their outrage. It's not surprising, the Republican Party has gotten people to vote against their own self-interests for decades, just by drumming up irrelevant issues like guns and religion. Yeah, I said it, the right-wing voters cling to guns and religion.
Anyway, why The Joker? Joker is the exact opposite of everything the right-wing claims Obama is doing. Right now, the current lunacy coming from the teabaggers is that Obama is some kind of socialist, communist, tyrannical fascist dictator, that's going to tax you into oblivion and take over American business. Obviously that's absurd, but I'll humor them for a moment... how is that at all related to The Joker? Let's get nerdy!
The Joker has no interest in power, control or money, his only desire is absolute chaos. Yeah, he steals money, but it's only to achieve a goal, he doesn't care about wealth. Go watch The Dark Knight again, once he has all the money from every criminal organization in Gotham City, he simply sets it ablaze! The Joker wants a world that's as crazy as him, he's a terrorist more in line with extreme Libertarianism, so shouldn't we be painting smiles on Ron Paul?
But according to the wingnuts, Obama is now a socialist, communist, fascist, tyrant who wants the country to descend into anarchy. Huh? This is why I have such a hard time taking these people seriously, because they obviously don't know what they're talking about. It's bad enough they're claiming Obama is both a socialist and a fascist, but a tyrannical anarchist? In the words of The Joker: HAhAHahAHAHaHAHahaHAhA!
If you want to dip into Batman's rogues gallery to smear President Obama, may I suggest someone more in line with your ridiculous claims? How about The Penguin? A wealthy, high-society elitist who gains wealth and power through less than legal means. Oh dammit, I just described the Republican Party.

Honestly, I don't really have a problem with this. I don't find it offensive, it's not like when the wingnuts try to make him look like Hitler, and making politicians look like cartoon villains is actually pretty funny:

See? Hilarious! But Jokerbama? I think these posters are good evidence that right-wingers aren't particularly deep and not a lot of thought goes into their outrage. It's not surprising, the Republican Party has gotten people to vote against their own self-interests for decades, just by drumming up irrelevant issues like guns and religion. Yeah, I said it, the right-wing voters cling to guns and religion.
Anyway, why The Joker? Joker is the exact opposite of everything the right-wing claims Obama is doing. Right now, the current lunacy coming from the teabaggers is that Obama is some kind of socialist, communist, tyrannical fascist dictator, that's going to tax you into oblivion and take over American business. Obviously that's absurd, but I'll humor them for a moment... how is that at all related to The Joker? Let's get nerdy!
The Joker has no interest in power, control or money, his only desire is absolute chaos. Yeah, he steals money, but it's only to achieve a goal, he doesn't care about wealth. Go watch The Dark Knight again, once he has all the money from every criminal organization in Gotham City, he simply sets it ablaze! The Joker wants a world that's as crazy as him, he's a terrorist more in line with extreme Libertarianism, so shouldn't we be painting smiles on Ron Paul?
But according to the wingnuts, Obama is now a socialist, communist, fascist, tyrant who wants the country to descend into anarchy. Huh? This is why I have such a hard time taking these people seriously, because they obviously don't know what they're talking about. It's bad enough they're claiming Obama is both a socialist and a fascist, but a tyrannical anarchist? In the words of The Joker: HAhAHahAHAHaHAHahaHAhA!
If you want to dip into Batman's rogues gallery to smear President Obama, may I suggest someone more in line with your ridiculous claims? How about The Penguin? A wealthy, high-society elitist who gains wealth and power through less than legal means. Oh dammit, I just described the Republican Party.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Intellectual Truancy
After reading the speech (here's the transcript), it's painfully obvious that there is absolutely no controversy here. I don't consider "stay in school" to be controversial, I suppose if you're Sarah Palin, who presided over the state with the highest dropout rate in the country, you could get a little upset. Obviously, this is probably the least controversial thing any president could do, especially considering that George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan all did it, but its only "politicizing education" when the black Democrat does it. Hmmm. By the way, when Reagan spoke to school children, he went off on a tangent about tax rates, but no politics there, right? It's the Gipper!
All this business about "brainwashing" and "Hitler Youth" (yeah, wingnuts are playing the Hitler card again), it's all just another part of the right-wing's concentrated effort to make Obama seem illegitimate. They have zero respect for the man or the office he holds. I'd like to think that it has to do with something other than his race, but I honestly can't come up with anything else.
And before any wingnut jumps in with their list of idiocy, let me stop them right now: Obama's not that liberal, the economy sucked long before he was elected, our spending has been out of control for 25 years (at least now we're spending it domestically instead of in George W. Bush's sandbox), and we're nowhere near "socialism," no matter how much they scream it.
The country is no different than it was on January 19th, so to throw this kind of temper tantrum over something as non-controversial as this, leads me to believe their problems are entirely with the man himself. Not his policies, not his message, just the fact that they can't wrap their feeble little brains around the idea of a leader named Barack Hussein Obama. To hate a President so much that you can't even allow your children to hear him promote a message of "stay in school and work hard"? Yeah, that certainly strikes at something a bit more personal than the friggin' deficit.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Teabaggers: The First Generation
Our current political climate isn't the first time the extreme right-wing used the threat of communism to stop America's progression:

And here we are today:

Poor, pitiful, angry white men... they've always had it so rough.
And here we are today:
Poor, pitiful, angry white men... they've always had it so rough.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Cult
Heaven's Gate:
"It is also possible that part of our test of faith is our hating this world, even our flesh body, to the extent to be willing to leave it without any proof of the Next Level's existence."
Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-Arkham Asylum):
"This [health care reform] cannot pass…What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass…Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom."
Remember, people voted for this woman, they elected her to public office to represent them in congress. Seriously. And really, slit their wrists and become blood brothers? Does Michelle Bachmann worship Satan? That would certainly explain how she was elected...
And it's not just one crazy person, take a look around at the Republican Party today, it's nothing but frothing-at-the-mouth psychopaths. Let's ignore all the misinformed idiots at all these town hall meetings and focus on the people who actually wield some sort of authority in this country.
How about Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who claims he performed an exorcism on a young woman when he was in college? I've brought it up before, but it is a 100% true story, it's not some birther-esque conspiracy, Jindal himself has claimed that he performed an exorcism. I have to repeat that one more time - a sitting governor, an elected official, not only believes in the idea of exorcisms, he thinks he's performed one.
Then there's George W. Bush, who sent 4,000 brave men and women to die (and countless others to come back maimed), because God told him to invade Iraq. A twice-elected (well, one and half times elected) president started a war because "God" told him. I don't find that troubling that as an almost-atheist, I find it troubling in the same way that it disturbs me when I see a crazy person muttering about God as he stumbles down an alley. Yeah, we elected THAT guy to be president.
How about Representative John Shimkus (R-IL) who says we don't need to worry about climate change because only God decides when the world ends? That's right, ignore all the science and trash the place because it's not going to matter when God splits open the heavens and sends the Four Horsemen to destroy the world. Sounds like someone's interested in a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Then of course, there's Sarah Palin, who belongs to a church that can "pray the gay away" and allows "Pastor" Thomas Muthee to come preach. Palin claims she wouldn't have been elected governor had Muthee not "laid hands" upon her, as he prayed for Jesus to bless her with wealth and protect her from witches. Literal witches, broomstick-riding, cauldron-brewing WITCHES.
I know I've mentioned all these over the last few months in previous entries, but when I compile them all together, can you actually look at it and take these people seriously? It's not just them, there are many more loonies in the party and even more nutjobs that support them, so honestly, please tell me how this party has any credibility?
If I were to sit you down and tell you about a group of people whose leaders believed in witches, exorcisms, a supernatural apocalypse, thought God was speaking directly to them and then called on their members to slit their wrists and become blood brothers, what would you think? Republican Party? Religious cult? Is there really even a difference at this point?
Labels:
bobby jindal,
george w. bush,
neocons,
religion,
republicans,
sarah palin,
wingnuts
Monday, August 17, 2009
Frustration
It's been two weeks since I've written anything, mainly because our current political climate has devolved into mind-numbing stupidity. Glenn Beck said the president has a "deep-seated hatred for white people," and joked about poisoning the Speaker of the House (all while his advertisers took their money and ran). Senator Chuck Grassley suggested that folks turn to Jesus Christ for "end of life counseling." And Sarah Palin emerged from the unemployment line to insinuate that President Obama wants to murder her Down Syndrome baby.Ah yes, Citizen Avon Lady and her mythical "death panels," all this just a couple weeks after ordering the media to "quit making stuff up." In the latest round of Palin exploiting her children for political gain, she sold the idea that if we had a government-run health care system, the handicapped, the sick and the elderly will have the proverbial plug pulled on them. Of course, this is 100% false, but the "liberal media" (lol), in their quest to always look "objective," took the bait and actually reported on this nonsense.
It really is infuriating to watch a serious political debate get hijacked by the LOUD NOISES crowd. People like Sarah Palin have nothing to add to the discussion, so they play to their base of ignorant, uninformed numbskulls to make people scared of health care reform. This is true, someone actually stood up in one of these infamous town hall scream-a-thons and said "KEEP YOUR DAMN GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY MEDICARE!" This is the type of idiot that Sarah Palin is talking to. Now that may make me sound like one of those elitist lefties, but here's the deal: if you actually believe that "death panels" will be a part of health care reform, you don't get to talk. You clearly have no idea what's going on and you will add nothing to the discussion, so shut up and actually read something not from redstate.com or Sarah Palin's Facebook page.
We've let loudmouth morons like Beck, Palin, Limbaugh, Grassley and the residents of Wingnuttia dictate the direction of the health care debate. Because they began frothing at the mouth, the end of life consultations have been removed from the health care bill. That's right, the same people who called for federal interference in the Terri Schiavo debacle don't want you to have access to a consultation about a living will. That's all the "death panels" are, compensating doctors for talking to their patients about an optional living will. So in the unfortunate event that you or a loved one are unable to make a decision about treatment, your wishes will be carried out.
I have it on good authority that Sarah Palin's next Facebook note will be about how you shouldn't be an organ donor, because it's really just a government conspiracy to harvest your organs! Seriously though, the elimination of the end of life provisions is a very dangerous precedent. The spineless cowards in the Democratic Party have once again bent to the will of the lunatic fringe on the ultra far-right. By not standing their ground on this, their fillibuster-proof majority is worthless, all it takes is yelling and screaming from people who have no clue what they're talking about to shut down a bill. That's the Democratic Party I know, blowing the lead in the bottom of the 9th with two outs and no one on base.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Screaming at themselves
Before I begin, let me clarify that I'm not one to put much stock in polls, I don't think you can accurately represent a country of over 100 million voters by asking 1000 people a series of questions over the phone. Not saying that every poll is wrong, but don't put all your faith in them.
But with that said, Republicans can't shut up about polling these last few weeks. Why? Because Obama's approval rating is down, shocking that they're all over that. So for those folks who are dying to write off an entire presidency in six months because of one week's worth of polling, I want to share a poll of my own.
Political Party Affiliation by State - Gallup
There are currently 37 states that are considered "strongly Democrat" or "leaning Democrat" and you can add DC in there as well for a combined 350 electoral votes. How many are Republican strongholds? Four, with only one additional state "leaning" Republican. Those states are Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Alabama... with a combined 15 electoral votes between them. There you go, there's today's Republican Party, amazing where people can live nowadays.
Naturally, this Gallup poll is not reflected by the way the "liberal media" (lol) covers the news. Just today, MSNBC gave actual airtime to "lawyer" Orly Taitz (yes, her name is Orly) to explain the so-called "Birther Movement" and why she's fighting to "prove" that Barack Obama wasn't really born in the United States. Just watch this video and see that this woman is a special brand of crazy; I mean there's crazy, and then there's Orly! But the Birfers, as I like to call them, have somehow gotten their stupid cause picked up by the mainstream media the last couple weeks and it's still getting reported on even though it has been repeatedly confirmed that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.
But it's not just the Birfers, the media's letting various Republicans, wingnuts and lunatic fringers all over the networks to talk about whatever insanity is on their mind. Just yesterday, This Week with George Stephanopoulos hosted right-wing columnist Michelle Malkin, who's about as qualified to go on that show as I am, and let her just spew her Ann Coulter-lite vitriol. I still see Frank Gaffney pop up all over MSNBC, and he's a guy that thinks Saddam Hussein was not only behind 9/11, but the Oklahoma City Bombings as well. Even Sean Hannity managed to up his "OMG did he really just do that?"-factor by bringing on MARK FUHRMAN to discuss race relations in America... yes, that Mark Fuhrman, the same dirty cop from the OJ Simpson trial who we heard on tape talk about how much he enjoys beating black people.
Then there's John McCain, who seems to get a weekly interview with the news outlet of his choice. I challenge you to find me a Democrat that got as much airtime as McCain has in the six months after he lost an election. I know we sure as hell didn't see John Kerry, Al Gore or Michael Dukakis this much, but somehow that "liberal media" (lol again) seems to find all the time in the world for ol' Johnny. Memo to the media: McCAIN LOST! Overwhelmingly! That means we didn't like his ideas six months ago, why should we have to hear about them now?
So right now the Republicans have less support than the Whigs, yet they still dominate the news cycle to promote their agenda of LOUD NOISES! They don't have the ability to engage in rational discussion (just listen to talk radio), they have no solutions for the nation's problems (just watch C-Span), all they have left to offer is obstruction. They can't tell us why we shouldn't have health care reform, why gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry or why we should take Sarah Palin seriously, so all they do is just ratchet up the crazy and force us to listen. Remember that next time you see footage of Glenn Beck's latest stunt - which will probably be something like setting the American Flag on fire - the GOP is nothing but an increasingly irrelevant political party trying to do anything to get attention. Like a dying television show desperate for ratings, the Republican Party has jumped the shark, the networks just haven't figured it out yet.
But with that said, Republicans can't shut up about polling these last few weeks. Why? Because Obama's approval rating is down, shocking that they're all over that. So for those folks who are dying to write off an entire presidency in six months because of one week's worth of polling, I want to share a poll of my own.
Political Party Affiliation by State - Gallup
There are currently 37 states that are considered "strongly Democrat" or "leaning Democrat" and you can add DC in there as well for a combined 350 electoral votes. How many are Republican strongholds? Four, with only one additional state "leaning" Republican. Those states are Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Alabama... with a combined 15 electoral votes between them. There you go, there's today's Republican Party, amazing where people can live nowadays.
Naturally, this Gallup poll is not reflected by the way the "liberal media" (lol) covers the news. Just today, MSNBC gave actual airtime to "lawyer" Orly Taitz (yes, her name is Orly) to explain the so-called "Birther Movement" and why she's fighting to "prove" that Barack Obama wasn't really born in the United States. Just watch this video and see that this woman is a special brand of crazy; I mean there's crazy, and then there's Orly! But the Birfers, as I like to call them, have somehow gotten their stupid cause picked up by the mainstream media the last couple weeks and it's still getting reported on even though it has been repeatedly confirmed that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.
But it's not just the Birfers, the media's letting various Republicans, wingnuts and lunatic fringers all over the networks to talk about whatever insanity is on their mind. Just yesterday, This Week with George Stephanopoulos hosted right-wing columnist Michelle Malkin, who's about as qualified to go on that show as I am, and let her just spew her Ann Coulter-lite vitriol. I still see Frank Gaffney pop up all over MSNBC, and he's a guy that thinks Saddam Hussein was not only behind 9/11, but the Oklahoma City Bombings as well. Even Sean Hannity managed to up his "OMG did he really just do that?"-factor by bringing on MARK FUHRMAN to discuss race relations in America... yes, that Mark Fuhrman, the same dirty cop from the OJ Simpson trial who we heard on tape talk about how much he enjoys beating black people.
Then there's John McCain, who seems to get a weekly interview with the news outlet of his choice. I challenge you to find me a Democrat that got as much airtime as McCain has in the six months after he lost an election. I know we sure as hell didn't see John Kerry, Al Gore or Michael Dukakis this much, but somehow that "liberal media" (lol again) seems to find all the time in the world for ol' Johnny. Memo to the media: McCAIN LOST! Overwhelmingly! That means we didn't like his ideas six months ago, why should we have to hear about them now?
So right now the Republicans have less support than the Whigs, yet they still dominate the news cycle to promote their agenda of LOUD NOISES! They don't have the ability to engage in rational discussion (just listen to talk radio), they have no solutions for the nation's problems (just watch C-Span), all they have left to offer is obstruction. They can't tell us why we shouldn't have health care reform, why gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry or why we should take Sarah Palin seriously, so all they do is just ratchet up the crazy and force us to listen. Remember that next time you see footage of Glenn Beck's latest stunt - which will probably be something like setting the American Flag on fire - the GOP is nothing but an increasingly irrelevant political party trying to do anything to get attention. Like a dying television show desperate for ratings, the Republican Party has jumped the shark, the networks just haven't figured it out yet.
Labels:
divisive politics,
media,
neocons,
republican smear tactics,
republicans,
wingnuts
Friday, June 5, 2009
The crazies are getting restless
Usually it's just fun to laugh at wingnuts; they're generally harmless, spewing shit so idiotic that no one in their right mind would ever pay attention to them. Whether it's Obama's birth certificate, his choice in mustard, gay marriage leading to the downfall of civilization, or they're named Glenn Beck... they're usually just silly old crazy people, like the kind you'd find pushing around a shopping cart, but not in a grocery store. Unfortunately, the ultra right-wing is growing increasingly frustrated as they become increasingly irrelevant and as a result, they're becoming more dangerous.All this psychotic rage seemed to begin around the end of the presidential campaign when the McCain/Palin events became glorified hate rallies. We all remember McCain reining in the crazy old woman who called Obama an "Arab," but Governor Avon Lady didn't stop fanning the flames of wingnuttery when she started insinuating that her opponent was a "terrorist." With policemen (in uniform) and various religious leaders to help spread the smears as well, they set the table for the crazies to come feast.
Aligning with psychopaths is a lot like opening Pandora's Box, there is no going back, the toothpaste is out of the tube, insert other cliché here. Obama won the election, but the Republicans had all these new found loonies shuffling around aimlessly like the mindless zombies they are, so they all got together and had themselves a little Tea Party. The tea parties were hijacked from the Libertarian movement and turned into campaign events, funded by neocons like Newt Gingrich and Dick Armey. The teabagging did nothing except show how hypocritical and out of touch the Republican Party was with America; they were essentially complaining that they had to pay for the tow truck after a night of drunk driving resulting in wrapping their Mercedes around a telephone pole. But that didn't stop the crazies from showing up, oh no... the teabaggers weren't just coming to talk about taxes, they had plenty of wingnutty goodness to go around.
But then it got scary, unlike when McCain reined in the racists at those campaign rallies, the Republicans embraced the tea parties and we got a glance at just how fucking insane this party has become. Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann wanted her contstituents "armed and dangerous," Texas Governor Rick Perry talked about seceding from the union and Republican strategist (and complete scumbag) Dick Morris, took a page out of G. Gordon Liddy's handbook and said, “Those crazies in Montana who say, ‘we’re going to kill ATF agents because the UN’s going to take over’ - well, they’re beginning to have a case.”
All this crazy boiled over earlier this week when Dr. George Tiller, a doctor who helped women and their families through an agonizing decision, was assassinated by a right-wing extremist. And then, several sick and demented psychopaths celebrated. I'm not going to get into the abortion debate here - if you agree with a woman's right to choose then I'd just be preaching to the choir; if you disagree, neither of us will convince the other otherwise - but if you think Dr. Tiller was performing these late-term abortions just because the mother "changed her mind," then you're a fucking moron. Pro-"life," but only if it's unborn... grown adults are apparently fair game, and killing them in church is a-okay too. Crazy and hypocritical... a dangerous combination.
But it doesn't stop there... in the last two days, a man is roaming around somewhere in the country, armed to the teeth and carrying a small fortune, plotting to assassinate the President of the United States. Today, a different man was arraigned in New York after plotting to "blow up" President Obama and Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. Mix this in with all these random shooting sprees that have been popping up all over the place and one might think this country has officially lost its goddamn mind.
A lot of people have placed part of the blame on Fox News, especially Bill O'Reilly, for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. As much as I'd like to blame them specifically, it goes much deeper than that. This culture of fear and paranoia has been growing since 9/11, partially because the Republicans have exploited it for political gain, partially because we still have a lot of racists and bigots living in this country and partially because we'll always have people who are just plain bonkers. That Homeland Security report about right-wing extremists (the one the Republicans went nuts over even though it was authorized by the Bush Administration) was spot-on, and I worry that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Sean Hannity is great... for me to Poupon
I don't know if you've noticed, but occasionally Fox News is the funniest damn thing on television. Clearly they're not a real news network and their entire on-air staff is composed of the biggest nimrods in broadcast history, but it is a never-ending source of hilarity. If you can manage to watch the network without feeling a need to evacuate your bowels, did you catch Sean Hannity this week? Sean really skewered Barack Obama this time, he caught the president - on camera - ordering a hamburger... with spicy mustard! THE HORROR! Yes friends, this is what the Republican Party has reduced itself to... mocking Obama because of his "fancy burger."But Vannity wasn't alone, Laura Ingraham joined the promotion of "Dijongate" (seriously), "I don't even like the way the man orders a hamburger. ... What kind of man orders a cheeseburger without ketchup but Dijon mustard?" Apparently, Ms. Ingraham is unaware of the fact that this is America, where you can get a hamburger made out of a fucking donut, there's nothing we WON'T put on a burger.
Never mind the fact that "spicy mustard" is available in every supermarket in the country and I guarantee you can get some form of it (or elitist Dijon) at the vast majority of restaurants in this country. Even All-American company, French's sells a spicy mustard. OMG! Commie Socialists have invaded our condiments! Next thing you know, Obama will be making us put Worcestershire sauce on our hot dogs!
Fox and the other clowns from the right-wing propaganda machine are free to waste their airtime however they see fit, but really, this? Look, I know you're desperate to make fun of the guy after Bush gave us so much ammunition over the years, but just accept it, Republicans aren't funny. It's okay, you're the curmudgeon party, you're not supposed to be funny. Relish in the fact that you're a bunch of angry old white men shouting at kids on the lawn, it's what Dick Cheney does! Embrace your inner Dick, it suits you.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Extreme Makeover: GOP Edition
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and I have to hand it to the Republicans for actually making it that far. With more people believing in ghosts than identifying themselves as a Republican, the party knows they've got some serious work to do if they're ever going to win another election and thankfully, they've decided it's time for a re-branding effort. When I heard about this, I thought it was great news, the party realizes they're at risk of becoming a fringe, opposition party, it's time to get some fresh faces out there to revitalize the party!
And then of course, they showed who the fresh faces are: Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Jeb Bush, Eric Cantor, Mitt Romney, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and Haley Barbour. There's only one clichéd internet meme that can properly sum this up:

And to make matters worse, they're calling this the National Council for a New America. Wait a minute, "New" America? What's wrong with the old America? Well, they did break it, but still... why do they hate America so much that they need a new one? I guess after that whole Real America thing didn't work out, they just feel they need to start all over.
In all seriousness, these are the people you thought would reconnect the Republican Party with the average voter? Really? I'm pretty sure when you're trying fix a failed brand, you don't go with the people who messed it up in the first place. If a plumber makes your leaky pipes worse, you probably shouldn't trust him to do something about your flooded basement. Let's take a look at our future New American leaders:
Newt Gingrich - Newty is pretty much the poster boy for what screwed up America, the prelude to Bush Era neoconservatism which reignited the culture wars. God & guns, fear & smear, etc. As noted earlier this month, Gingrich (an admitted adulterer) reemerged as a national figure to call Barack Obama "anti-religious." When I think of who would make a great leader for this new and refreshed Republican Party, I can't think of a better candidate than the ultra-polarizing, 65-year-old ex-Speaker of the House who's been in politics since 1974.
John McCain - Excellent strategy Republicans, when looking for someone to revitalize your party after a crushing defeat in an election just six months ago, go for the guy that lost the presidency. I'm sure no one will remember the vile, disgusting campaign where he and his constituents essentially called our current president an anti-American terrorist who will kill your baby. No, he's definitely the key to winning over hearts and minds.
Eric Cantor - Hey, we finally found someone under the age of 65, so that's a start. Unfortunately, that's also the end. Cantor's pretty much like a male version of Sarah Palin - empty suit, emptier head. I suppose we could call him John Boehner in training. Here's Cantor really hyping up the whole re-branding process.
Haley Barbour - The governor of Mississippi. Good thing the GOP has him to rebrand their party, because I bet Mississippi would've been up for grabs in the next presidential election! I know the Republicans have been having some trouble with such a progressive, liberal state like MS, so I'm sure a southern, career politician over the age of 60 will give them a huge helping hand.
Bobby Jindal - Oh Bobby, you're a never-ending source of entertainment. I can understand why the Republicans are pushing Jindal, they want to show that they also have a young, charismatic non-white guy... or they're just big fans of 30 Rock, but "the Republican Obama," this guy is not. In reality, Jindal is just another neocon, he supports a constitutional ban on flag burning and he believes that he actually performed an exorcism (and no, I will never get tired of that story). Although I wonder if the Republican base will constantly refer to Bobby by his real name "Piyush" and demand to see his birth certificate, much like they do with "Hussein Obama."
Sarah Palin - The biggest embarrassment in American political history and the Republicans want to trot her around again? I know I've been sarastically joking throughout this list, but for Sarah, I need to just come right out and say it to the GOP - you're supposed to be re-branding, you morons! You don't revitalize your party by bringing out Governor Avon Lady! Look, I know she's Neocon stroke material and she likes to shoot things, but she is possibly the most disgusting politician in America today and I will never apologize for saying that. Sarah Palin epitomizes exactly what's wrong with today's Republican Party and if they're using her to reconnect with voters, they'll be in the history books right next to the Whig Party very soon.
Jeb Bush - But as bad of a choice as Sarah Palin is to fix your tainted image, at least her name isn't Bush! Really Republicans, REALLY?! You're going to try to go to this well for a third time? You're going to try to use Jeb Bush as a figurehead of the new GOP while his brother just finished up the worst... presidency... ever? Dubya's been out of office for 101 days and his approval ratings are still dropping and you're going to enlist his brother?! I believe that is the very definition of "balls." Or "completely detached from reality," I'm not sure which. Considering how popular Meghan McCain is, I think you'd have better luck using Jenna Bush instead.
There you go folks, this is what the Republican Party came up with - old white men, career politicians, empty suits, relatives of the worst president in history, people who believe in exorcisms and the hockey mom pitbull with lipstick. This is literally the best they can do, go even further to the right and say "good riddance" to folks like Arlen Specter. They believe losing moderates will "purify" their party as they set up shop in the idealogical fringe section of America. The party of Lincoln is long gone, hell, this isn't even the party of Reagan anymore, this is the party of wingnuts.
And then of course, they showed who the fresh faces are: Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Jeb Bush, Eric Cantor, Mitt Romney, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and Haley Barbour. There's only one clichéd internet meme that can properly sum this up:

And to make matters worse, they're calling this the National Council for a New America. Wait a minute, "New" America? What's wrong with the old America? Well, they did break it, but still... why do they hate America so much that they need a new one? I guess after that whole Real America thing didn't work out, they just feel they need to start all over.
In all seriousness, these are the people you thought would reconnect the Republican Party with the average voter? Really? I'm pretty sure when you're trying fix a failed brand, you don't go with the people who messed it up in the first place. If a plumber makes your leaky pipes worse, you probably shouldn't trust him to do something about your flooded basement. Let's take a look at our future New American leaders:
Newt Gingrich - Newty is pretty much the poster boy for what screwed up America, the prelude to Bush Era neoconservatism which reignited the culture wars. God & guns, fear & smear, etc. As noted earlier this month, Gingrich (an admitted adulterer) reemerged as a national figure to call Barack Obama "anti-religious." When I think of who would make a great leader for this new and refreshed Republican Party, I can't think of a better candidate than the ultra-polarizing, 65-year-old ex-Speaker of the House who's been in politics since 1974.
John McCain - Excellent strategy Republicans, when looking for someone to revitalize your party after a crushing defeat in an election just six months ago, go for the guy that lost the presidency. I'm sure no one will remember the vile, disgusting campaign where he and his constituents essentially called our current president an anti-American terrorist who will kill your baby. No, he's definitely the key to winning over hearts and minds.
Eric Cantor - Hey, we finally found someone under the age of 65, so that's a start. Unfortunately, that's also the end. Cantor's pretty much like a male version of Sarah Palin - empty suit, emptier head. I suppose we could call him John Boehner in training. Here's Cantor really hyping up the whole re-branding process.
Haley Barbour - The governor of Mississippi. Good thing the GOP has him to rebrand their party, because I bet Mississippi would've been up for grabs in the next presidential election! I know the Republicans have been having some trouble with such a progressive, liberal state like MS, so I'm sure a southern, career politician over the age of 60 will give them a huge helping hand.
Bobby Jindal - Oh Bobby, you're a never-ending source of entertainment. I can understand why the Republicans are pushing Jindal, they want to show that they also have a young, charismatic non-white guy... or they're just big fans of 30 Rock, but "the Republican Obama," this guy is not. In reality, Jindal is just another neocon, he supports a constitutional ban on flag burning and he believes that he actually performed an exorcism (and no, I will never get tired of that story). Although I wonder if the Republican base will constantly refer to Bobby by his real name "Piyush" and demand to see his birth certificate, much like they do with "Hussein Obama."
Sarah Palin - The biggest embarrassment in American political history and the Republicans want to trot her around again? I know I've been sarastically joking throughout this list, but for Sarah, I need to just come right out and say it to the GOP - you're supposed to be re-branding, you morons! You don't revitalize your party by bringing out Governor Avon Lady! Look, I know she's Neocon stroke material and she likes to shoot things, but she is possibly the most disgusting politician in America today and I will never apologize for saying that. Sarah Palin epitomizes exactly what's wrong with today's Republican Party and if they're using her to reconnect with voters, they'll be in the history books right next to the Whig Party very soon.
Jeb Bush - But as bad of a choice as Sarah Palin is to fix your tainted image, at least her name isn't Bush! Really Republicans, REALLY?! You're going to try to go to this well for a third time? You're going to try to use Jeb Bush as a figurehead of the new GOP while his brother just finished up the worst... presidency... ever? Dubya's been out of office for 101 days and his approval ratings are still dropping and you're going to enlist his brother?! I believe that is the very definition of "balls." Or "completely detached from reality," I'm not sure which. Considering how popular Meghan McCain is, I think you'd have better luck using Jenna Bush instead.
There you go folks, this is what the Republican Party came up with - old white men, career politicians, empty suits, relatives of the worst president in history, people who believe in exorcisms and the hockey mom pitbull with lipstick. This is literally the best they can do, go even further to the right and say "good riddance" to folks like Arlen Specter. They believe losing moderates will "purify" their party as they set up shop in the idealogical fringe section of America. The party of Lincoln is long gone, hell, this isn't even the party of Reagan anymore, this is the party of wingnuts.
Labels:
john mccain,
neocons,
newt gingrich,
republicans,
sarah palin,
wingnuts
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
