American Razor

Religulous

2011-09-23T22:05:00.000-04:00

The irony of religion is that because of its power to divert man to destructive courses, the world could actually come to an end. The plain fact is, religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having in key decisions made by religious people. By irrationalists, by those who would steer the ship of state not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq, but he didn't learn a lot about it. Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking.

It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it's wonderful when someone says, "I'm willing, Lord! I'll do whatever you want me to do!" Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas.

And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don't. How can I be so sure? Because I don't know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble, and that's what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong. This is why rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife, for the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here, or wherever, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects of religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let's remember what the real problem was that we learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. That's it. Grow up or die.

-Bill Maher, from Religulous

Drug tests for driver's licenses

2011-09-01T19:13:00.003-04:00

For years now, I've been seeing the "MAKING DRUG TEST MANDATORY FOR WELFARE" meme pop up on Facebook. It has 1.5 million fans... that's a lot for something on Facebook, so obviously people support the idea and it gained enough traction to be made into law in Florida.

Of course, it's a laughable failure, but in our current political climate, that doesn't matter. Much like the 2012 GOP candidates, the concept is failing upward and Ohio is expected to institute a similar law.

I get the idea behind it, we've demonized poor people so much, it's easy to get people to rally against them, even if a small portion of them are truly the "lazy, drug-addled drain on society" that they're painted as. Never mind the fact that it's demonstrably a waste of money, once people have their minds made up on something like this, the details don't matter, they "won." The only way these kind of "kick 'em when they're down" laws go away is when they start to affect the lives of everyday folk.

So it's time to start drug testing for driver's licenses! Aren't we all tired of drug addicts and alcoholics killing innocent people on the road, costing taxpayer money in terms of police, rescue workers and court costs? Why should we continue to allow dangerous criminals to drive on our taxpayer-funded roads?

Oh sure, we're assuming that everyone behind the wheel is a criminal, but a driver's license is a privilege, not a right. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't mind going into the DMV, waiting in that excruciatingly long line, dropping your pants in front of a low-paid bureaucrat and pissing in a cup every time you get your license renewed. You don't want to do that? Well I suppose we could just take your blood instead. What's a little humiliation in the interest of saving money and lives?

I promise you, the minute some overpaid, coked-up, midlife-crisis douchebag in a Porsche has to pee in front of a grumpy DMV employee, these "drug test for (x)" laws will dry up pretty fucking quick.

Sarah Palin doesn't have maps

2011-06-03T15:36:00.000-04:00

Remember Miss South Carolina? Back in 2007, she was asked during the Miss Teen USA Pageant why one-fifth of Americans can't find the United States on a map. Her response:

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children"

Today, during her bus trip to nowhere, Sarah Palin was asked about Paul Revere's ride. Her response:

“He who warned, uh, the, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and, um, makin’ sure as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free and we were gonna be armed.”

The difference between the two? Miss South Carolina was publicly humiliated and went on The Amazing Race, Sarah Palin, however, is one of the most influential figures in our politics and media and is treated like a legitimate candidate for the presidency. And she's complete moron. We'd probably be better off with Miss South Carolina, at least she's traveled outside of the United States before.

The Civil War was ENTIRELY about slavery

2011-04-16T12:33:00.002-04:00

I haven't been watching a lot of news lately. MSNBC's terrible reporting makes me gag, CNN is too busy trying to show how cool they are since they're on the Twitters and the YouTubes, and Fox News is well, Fox News. So maybe I missed something, but I haven't heard a lot of talk about the American Civil War. You would think on the 150th anniversary of the darkest chapter in our nation's history would be something worth discussing. 9/11, significant as it was, can't go by without a 24-hour terror porn replay of the newscasts from the days events, yet the anniversary American Civil War, which left over 365,000 people dead, has gone by without much of a peep.

You know that cliché, "those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it"? Well, in an political climate where elected officials, not just tinfoil hat buffoons and charlatans like Glenn Beck and Andrew Breitbart, are telling Americans that they may need to take up arms against their government, the Civil War might be something we want to talk about. Michele Bachmann (R-Toon Town) wants her constituents "armed & dangerous," Sharon Angle talked about "Second Amendment remedies" if she lost the election against Harry Reid (she did... barely) and Texas Governor, Rick Perry, has been stoking the flames of secession for years now.

On top of all this, we have people who actually claim that the Civil War wasn't really about slavery. Google "Civil War not about slavery" and you'll find millions upon millions of results. Oh really, the Civil War wasn't about slavery? This guy begs to differ:

"Our new government is founded upon exactly the opposite idea; its foundations are laid, its corner- stone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery subordination to the superior race is his natural and normal condition. This, our new government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth."

Who said something so awful? The fucking Vice President of the Confederacy, Alexander Stephens. Yeah, slavery had NOTHING to do with it. Excuse me while I LOL.

So the next time some asshole tries to tell you otherwise, or even worse, if you have some lunatic teacher shoving some bullshit about "states' rights" (yeah, states' rights to own black people), read them that quote from Alexander Stephens. My ultra right-wing 9th grade history teacher tried to push that nonsense on us... and yes right-wingers, it's not just liberal indoctrination in schools, I wish I paid more attention when I was 14 to call him out on his bullshit.

The Civil War was ENTIRELY about slavery and as our population gets increasingly dumber, these kind of climates can reemerge. Not that I think Michele Bachmann is going to bring back the slave trade, but it contributes to this society of nimrods that think the Civil War wasn't about race and if we just get violent, the government will actually listen to them. That's dangerous and that's where America is right now.

10 Shocking Attacks in the GOP War on Women

2011-02-18T20:26:00.000-05:00

Saw this over at the Corrupt Politics blog, who got it from MoveOn.org, and since we all know any mention of MoveOn will automatically be dismissed by right-wingers, I added my own links to cite each item.

Top 10 Shocking Attacks from the GOP War on Women

1) Republicans not only want to reduce women’s access to abortion care, they’re actually trying to redefine rape. After a major backlash, they promised to stop. But they haven’t.

2) A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to “accuser.” But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain “victims.”

3) In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder a doctor who provides abortion care. (Yep, for real.)

4) Republicans want to cut nearly a billion dollars of food and other aid to low-income pregnant women, mothers, babies, and kids.

5) In Congress, Republicans have proposed a bill that would let hospitals allow a woman to die rather than perform an abortion necessary to save her life.

6) Maryland Republicans ended all county money for a low-income kids’ preschool program. Why? No need, they said. Women should really be home with the kids, not out working.

7) And at the federal level, Republicans want to cut that same program, Head Start, by $1 billion. That means over 200,000 kids could lose their spots in preschool.

8) Two-thirds of the elderly poor are women, and Republicans are taking aim at them too. A spending bill would cut funding for employment services, meals, and housing for senior citizens.

9) Congress will vote any day now on a Republican amendment to cut all federal funding from Planned Parenthood health centers, one of the most trusted providers of basic health care and family planning in our country.

10) And if that wasn’t enough, Republicans are pushing to eliminate all funds for the only federal family planning program. (For humans. But Republican Dan Burton has a bill to provide contraception for wild horses. You can’t make this stuff up).

How can anyone defend these politicians? The Republican Party has done a lot of really awful things in the last few decades, but have they ever just outright governed out of spite like this? These measures are pure cruelty.

Here America, have a trophy!

2011-01-20T12:04:00.002-05:00

You're on the internet, surely you've gotten an email forward, or saw someone post on Facebook, some forward that talks about how America needs to get "tough." Whether it's complaining about welfare, taxes, or kids, there's no shortage of this stuff making the rounds online. One in particular sticks out to me, I even saw it posted on the wall of a sandwich shop when I was eating lunch last week. I'm not going to post the full thing, because it's preachy nonsense that makes me wretch, but you've probably seen it, it's usually falsely attributed to Bill Gates and is usually titled as "Rules Kids Won't Learn in School." It's actually from a book written in 1996 by a guy named Charles Sykes, but it's all about how "kids today" suck because they have healthy self-esteem.

Now I'm not going to rant in defense of the precious little snowflakes, I just bring it up so you know what I'm talking about. You've seen the forwards: "life isn't fair, get used to it," "I can't believe kids get trophies for everything nowadays," "life doesn't have summer break," blah blah blah. And of course, this shit gets passed around like the plague, usually it comes to your inbox as "Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AMEN!!!!!!!1"

Yeah! Kids have it too easy, they need to learn life isn't fair! Games have winners and losers and only winners get trophies! Time to get tough, America.

Except it's not. People love to cheerlead this kind of stuff, but the minute you try to talk tough to an American adult, you get run out of town. Jimmy Carter told us to put on a sweater, don't be wasteful and don't be driven by consumerism. Of course, America responded to this by electing Mr. Sunny, Ronald Reagan... who drove the country further into the ditch and created the blueprint for the modern day Republican party... who drove the country off a cliff. How dare anyone in power tell us to be responsible and act like an adult? Screw you, I'm buying a Hummer!

Barack Obama came under similar criticism for his views on American exceptionalism. When asked, he replied, "I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect that the Brits believe in British exceptionalism, and the Greeks believe in Greek exceptionalism." A perfectly reasonable, logical and mature explanation, of course idiots like Newt Gingrich took this as the opportunity to label Obama a "Kenyan, socialist, anti-colonial, secularist, (insert buzzword here)," etc. He might even be an Orc too, Newt's not sure. But that's the attitude of the right, if you don't believe America is the greatest country on the planet, if you don't believe that God himself drew lines on a map, pointed to America and said "that one's my favorite," then you're a dirty pinko socialist Nazi.

But yes, children who get trophies just for playing, that's the problem. In reality, the trophy thing isn't that big of a deal, because if they stick with the sport (or any other activity), many of them will soon be forced to sacrifice their childhoods in favor of meaningless structure and pressuring parents who want to make up for their own failures vicariously through the scholastic and athletic achievements of their children.

But that's another rant for another day. Point is, kids will soon learn the harsh realities of winning and losing through a variety of channels, but Americans in general who need a never-ending stream of smoke blown up their ass from their elected leaders? We're the people who need a trophy for everything. We rank 36th in the world in life expectancy (below Costa Rica and Cuba, slightly above Kuwait), we rank 37th in overall health care coverage, we rank 21st in literacy rates, 34th in math and science education, 33rd in infant mortality, and the middle class has evaporated... but hey, WE'RE #1!

If an American politician, someone with the ability to actually improve these statistics, pointed out those facts, they wouldn't even be elected Mayor of Wasilla. "How dare you?! America is the greatest country in the world!" usually said by someone who's never even left the county, let alone the country. "Love it or leave it, man!" usually said by someone with no counterpoint.

American exceptionalism of the Newt Gingrich variety is what got us into this mess. We were too arrogant, too naive and too distracted to notice the country crumbling all around us. It's the point people try to make with the non-issue of kids getting participation trophies, that it'll give them over-inflated self-esteem and they'll be in for a real shock when it's time to enter the real world and everything isn't handed to them. Well America, it's time to enter the real world.

There are other homeless people.

2011-01-05T17:16:00.004-05:00

By now, you've surely heard about Ted Williams, the homeless man with an amazing radio voice who fell on hard times and was left homeless. While I'm thrilled to see this guy get a second chance and hope he makes millions of dollars, this story still pisses me off.

There's a shameful amount of homeless veterans out there, where are their viral videos? The Cleveland Cavaliers sure as hell ain't offering them any jobs and the media doesn't like to talk about it because it makes us sad. These are true American heroes, they put their lives on the line for their country and we welcome them back with a nice spot under the bridge for them to sleep. It's disgusting.

And not just veterans either, there are a lot of homeless people, period. What about the homeless factory workers? The homeless plumbers? The homeless truck drivers? People see these guys standing on a street corner with a cardboard sign, and yell "get a job, you bum!" Maybe the homeless man wound up on the street because he has a debilitating illness that left him broke after dealing with the insurance companies. Does he get job offers? No, he gets money thrown at him by teabaggers:

It's Susan Boyle all over again, someone that the average person would ignore or mock in a normal situation, but if they can entertain us, then we want to suddenly shower them with success. We don't need to help multiple people, just find one really good story to make us all feel good about ourselves for a week or two. It's disingenuous and sums up many American attitudes quite well, "oh sure, I'll help you out... if you dance for me first."

Ground Zero Mosque... that isn't a mosque or on Ground Zero

2010-09-13T01:06:00.000-04:00

Earlier today, I was in a discussion with someone who supports the Park51 project, but thought the folks in charge didn't do a good job of getting in front of the story and explaining that it wasn't actually a Mosque, but a place to play racquetball. That might be the case if Fox News wasn't covering the story. It wouldn't have mattered if they had five years of hype, calling it the "Totally Non-Religious Happy Place Where There's Free Ice Cream & Hand Jobs," the minute Fox News and the rest of the right-wing media started calling it the "Ground Zero Mosque," it would've still been the Ground Zero Mosque. You have to realize these cretins shape the narrative because they have ignorant viewers and listeners that believe everything they're told. Then said ignorant listeners and viewers get outraged, start calling newspapers, radio and TV stations and demand to know why the liberal media isn't covering the Terror Mosque of Doom. And then of course the media covers it because they're pussies and are afraid of looking too liberal, so they have to report on the outrage, then the outrage blends with the story, and that becomes the perceived reality.

The right-wing is frighteningly organized, it's how Glenn Beck can get 80,000 morons to show up in DC for no reason other than to listen to him compare himself to MLK and Jesus, so he can sell books and Goldline to these same ignorant, outraged fucktards. If Sir Glenn of Moronistan and Boss Limbaugh say it is so, then it is so, it doesn't matter how much truth you throw in their face. And then the average joe, who's just trying to provide for his family and survive his soul-crushing work day, comes home and turns on the nightly news and gets a five minute version of the story that focuses on the message created by the wingnuts, as demonstrated in the above paragraph. He doesn't have time to fact check this bullshit, he just absorbs it, goes to bed, and tries to make it through another day, not thinking about how much the right wing is pissing on his face and telling him it's rain.

The media game is rigged, and the right-wing will win it every time. Even when they're down and nothing is going their way, like post-Bush administration, they always find a way to bounce back. And when the Democrats are utterly decimated and humiliated in November, you'll see exactly what I mean.

Million Moron March

2010-08-28T14:19:00.002-04:00

We are seriously at the point in America when an insane, ex-morning zoo radio host can stand on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, piggyback off the anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech, all to sell books and a TV show to angry white people, and a good portion of the country is okay with it. I weep for the future of this country if this assclown is truly taken seriously by its citizens.

The Republican Party: consistently inconsistent

2010-05-05T20:48:00.002-04:00

Just when you thought there was no way this party could be more full of shit, the Times Square wannabe terrorist turns the whole damn country upside down. New York City mayor, Michael Bloomberg, announced that he wants to restrict the sale of firearms to people on the government's "no-fly" list. It seems like a pretty logical restriction, if you're considered too dangerous to get on a plane, you probably shouldn't be allowed to buy a gun. Ah, but we must remember that Republicans love them some guns; they don't care about any of the other amendments in the Constitution, but the Second must be preserved at all costs! Restrict free speech, allow for unreasonable search and seizure, but they can't even restrict the sale of guns to suspected terrorists!

Why? Because it may affect law-abiding citizens. Yes, that's the Republican excuse, normal everyday folk might be inconvenienced by this law. Meanwhile, these exact same buffoons are jumping for joy over the Arizona racial profiling law, which allows the police to harass law-abiding American citizens. Americans must have unrestricted access to firearms at all times, even if you're on the government's no-fly list, but if you're brown and in the state of Arizona, you may have to take a trip to the police station if you don't have your papers in order.

And not satisfied with being completely insane, the GOP has to take this to "holy fucking batshit insane" levels by saying that suspected terrorists shouldn't be read their Miranda rights. Now this may sound confusing, because Republicans have lost their damn minds, but let me try to get this straight: suspects on the no-fly list should have access to guns, but when they're arrested, even if they're an American citizen suspected of committing a crime on American soil, they should not have the rights guaranteed to every other American citizen? Huh?!

This is why I cannot take this party seriously, even when you think they've hit rock bottom, they manage to find a way and set the bar even lower for intelligence and decency.

Sarah Palin vs. Reality: Episode 8,912

2010-04-09T20:46:00.004-04:00

Yeah, I'm back, it's been awhile (over six months), but honestly, I've been so disgusted with the political dialogue in this country lately, I had to step away for a bit. Luckily, as Republicans get crazier, my patience wears thin and I just have to get a few things off my chest. And no one can wear down my patience faster than good ol' Sarah Palin and her never-ending supply of pure bullshit.

A little backstory to the latest Palin nonsense: as you may have heard, President Obama recently signed a nuclear weapons treaty that decreases our stockpile, but still leaves us with enough warheads to vaporize every man, woman and child on the planet about ten times over. Naturally, the Republican Party pissed their pants over this, because you never know, we might need to bomb Iran, North Korea, Afghanistan, every other nation on the planet, the moon, Mars, and the Na'vi on Pandora a few hundred times. Obviously, Sarah Palin had to weigh in on the issue since she has her open forum on Fox News everyday and she wasn't pleased. President Obama was recently asked about her comments, and gave a simple answer, "Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues." I'm sure the "liberal" media will say he was being "elitist" and "dismissive," but what he said was 100% accurate, Sarah Palin can't even pronounce the word "nuclear," and no, that wasn't a joke, she really can't.

Unsurprisingly, Sarah Palin had to respond to Obama's response, and she told the Southern Republican Leadership Conference (lol) this:

"all that vast nuclear expertise he acquired as a community organizer, a part-time senator, and a full-time candidate for president."

Ah yes, the old community organizer meme, going into the Palin Greatest Hits catalog! That may still strike a chord with her audience, but for those of us living in reality, she may want to think twice before traveling to 2008 for her talking points.

Republicans love to attack Obama for never having a "real job," but they tend to leave out the parts where he was a professor at the University of Chicago Law School for 12 years and a civil rights attorney for six years. Sarah Palin? Local media broadcaster, Jesus Christ, I've had that job!

As for "part-time senator," again, that may have struck a chord in 2008, but considering the fact that Obama only left his senate position to become the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, she doesn't really have much of a leg to stand on anymore. Especially since, ya know, she couldn't even finish a single term as governor of Alaska. Barack Obama left the senate to become president, Sarah Palin abandoned her state to go work for Fox News.

And then "full-time candidate for president," once again ignoring the fact that he now is THE PRESIDENT. This may be news to Palin, but we had an election and everything, she even ran with the guy that lost to Obama, but yeah, the guy is the democratically elected President of America. No, not South America... and no, South America isn't just one country, Mrs. Palin, Barack Obama is the President of the United States of America, your "real America" included.

So, now that we're more than one year into Barack Obama's term as president, he not only has more of that "executive experience" that she talked so much about in 2008, he also has more "nuclear expertise" than Governor Quitter. President Obama currently has the nuclear football, the briefcase with all the launch codes for our nuclear warheads. If he wanted, he could wipe any country off the map before you could say, "you betcha by golly gosh geez!" I'm sorry, once you're the guy who has his finger on the button, you can't get much more "nuke-u-lar expertise."

If only this nimrod had a chance of getting out of a primary in 2012, she's the funniest damn thing to ever happen to American politics. A national embarrassment, sure, but really, really funny.

Barack Obama (R-IL)

2010-04-09T18:14:00.008-04:00

Stock market: highest numbers since 08.

Retail businesses: best numbers in a decade.

March: highest job growth in three years.

Nuclear weapons: Ronald Reagan wanted a nuclear-free world, we're taking steps toward that.

Drill baby, drill: now we're drilling offshore.

Why are Republicans so pissed off? Barack Obama is the best Republican president we've ever had!

Enemy of intelligence

2009-09-29T14:36:00.005-04:00

So yesterday, you may have heard about some idiot on Facebook posting a poll called "Should Obama be killed?" Pretty serious stuff, but it's the internet, right? People post crazy stuff all the time and it's not fair to make assumptions about many people based on the actions of one. But what happens when an elected official does something similar, just less blatant?

Here's congressman Trent Franks (R-AZ), calling the President of the United States an "enemy of humanity."

What kind of message does that send to the lunatics from the teabagging crowd? You know the people with their signs like "We came unarmed... this time!" and "Obama's Plan = White Slavery," how do you think this kind of statement resonates with them? This goes beyond the right-wing's efforts to make the President seem illegitimate by saying things like he's "exotic" or "different," this is a government official telling people that the President of the United States is an enemy to our very existence.

Think I'm overreacting? What about the census worker who was found bound, gagged and hanged with the word "FED" carved into his chest last week? This, just a month or so after congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) claimed that filling out the census could lead to Americans being sent to internment camps, much like we did with Japanese-Americans during World War II.

Trent Franks is walking on very dangerous ground here. This is worse than the birth certificate numbskulls and makes "YOU LIE!" seem tame in comparison, Congressman Franks isn't saying Barack Obama is unfit for office, he's saying he's unfit for life. This isn't just a political disagreement, Franks is dehumanizing our democratically elected President, illustrating him as an evil monster. When you start using language like that, you're essentially telling people that it would be okay to assassinate the President. You're giving them the idea that they would be the hero, saving the "real Americans" from the threat of an enemy to humanity. With rhetoric like this, and the non-stop comparisons to Hitler, all it's going to take is one unbalanced lunatic to hear Trent Franks' words and create a very dangerous situation. Franks should resign immediately or be removed from office by the people of Arizona, language like this cannot be tolerated.

Liberal Media vs. Conservative Media

2009-09-26T16:33:00.005-04:00

I know I talk about the myth of a liberal media on a fairly regular basis. It's not that there aren't any liberals in the media, but they're generally interested in presenting the truth. Contrary to popular (stupid) belief, there's not a concentrated effort within the collective media to promote left-wing agendas. However, there is a concentrated effort in the conservative media to promote right-wing agendas, except they have no interest in the truth. The right-wing media has not use for facts because the truth usually contradicts their agenda, so instead they rely on loud noises, smears and flat-out insanity.

Let's contrast and compare! First, here's Bill Moyers, the epitome of the "liberal media," and a man that Bill O'Reilly constantly rails against and sends his stalker producer to harass:

Bill Maher interviews Bill Moyers

Now just watch those clips with Maher and Moyers and understand that this is the "liberal media" - intelligent, well-spoken, fair and coherent conversation.

And now here's the conservative media:

Glenn Beck pretends to light someone on fire

Glenn Beck boils "fake" frog on air

Glenn Beck claims the half-white president "has a deep-seated hatred for white people"

Glenn Beck jokes about poisoning the Speaker of the House

Glenn Beck says he's "thinking about killing" Michael Moore

Glenn Beck agrees that we need Osama bin Laden to "detonate a major weapon" on US soil

This is the best the right-wing media can do, folks. Lies, threats, hypocrisy, fear, racism, and ludicrous stunts. Hell, it's not just their media, it's the right-wing in general.

Why so serious?

2009-09-18T16:01:00.005-04:00

Okay, I need a break. You'd be surprised, but tackling the insanity of the right-wing is exhausting when there's just so much of it. So today, I've decided to take on an easy target, this whole fad of Photoshopping Obama as The Joker:

Honestly, I don't really have a problem with this. I don't find it offensive, it's not like when the wingnuts try to make him look like Hitler, and making politicians look like cartoon villains is actually pretty funny:

See? Hilarious! But Jokerbama? I think these posters are good evidence that right-wingers aren't particularly deep and not a lot of thought goes into their outrage. It's not surprising, the Republican Party has gotten people to vote against their own self-interests for decades, just by drumming up irrelevant issues like guns and religion. Yeah, I said it, the right-wing voters cling to guns and religion.

Anyway, why The Joker? Joker is the exact opposite of everything the right-wing claims Obama is doing. Right now, the current lunacy coming from the teabaggers is that Obama is some kind of socialist, communist, tyrannical fascist dictator, that's going to tax you into oblivion and take over American business. Obviously that's absurd, but I'll humor them for a moment... how is that at all related to The Joker? Let's get nerdy!

The Joker has no interest in power, control or money, his only desire is absolute chaos. Yeah, he steals money, but it's only to achieve a goal, he doesn't care about wealth. Go watch The Dark Knight again, once he has all the money from every criminal organization in Gotham City, he simply sets it ablaze! The Joker wants a world that's as crazy as him, he's a terrorist more in line with extreme Libertarianism, so shouldn't we be painting smiles on Ron Paul?

But according to the wingnuts, Obama is now a socialist, communist, fascist, tyrant who wants the country to descend into anarchy. Huh? This is why I have such a hard time taking these people seriously, because they obviously don't know what they're talking about. It's bad enough they're claiming Obama is both a socialist and a fascist, but a tyrannical anarchist? In the words of The Joker: HAhAHahAHAHaHAHahaHAhA!

If you want to dip into Batman's rogues gallery to smear President Obama, may I suggest someone more in line with your ridiculous claims? How about The Penguin? A wealthy, high-society elitist who gains wealth and power through less than legal means. Oh dammit, I just described the Republican Party.

You lie!

2009-09-15T20:10:00.006-04:00

If you've been following the news today, congress officially brought up the Joe "You Lie" Wilson situation and voted on whether or not to rebuke him. While I'm all for making this guy look like the assclown that he is, I have to ask, if the guy was willing to apologize, would anyone even want it? A Joe Wilson apology is worth as much as his opinion: nothing.

His outburst during the Obama's speech did serve a purpose though, it proved my point that the Republican Party has no respect for the President or the office he holds. Hell, they obviously don't even have any respect for the House of Representatives, as he blatantly defied the rules and very few Republicans are calling for him to apologize on the floor or to resign. And yes, Wilson should resign, or be removed from office, no one so childish should be allowed to have such an important job. Try pulling that stunt at your place of employment; the next time the boss calls a meeting, shout "YOU LIE!" at him during an important point, you'll be cleaning out your desk before lunch.

It also doesn't help the fact that it wasn't Obama who was lying, it was Joe Wilson! Well, either he lied or he was just flat-out wrong, which makes him a perfect fit for the GOP. Liars, idiots and crazy people, hell of a party they got there. Which brings me back to my original point, why would anyone even care if Wilson apologizes? As a member of the GOP, his apology will be insincere, just like everything else that comes out of that party's collective mouth.

It's fun to watch the right-wing defend this guy, the first elected official in the history of the country to shout at the president mid-sentence during a speech to congress. I've seen some people try to play the "British Parliament" excuse, saying outbursts like that happen all the time over there. So I suppose anyone using that excuse also believes in Britain's National Healthcare System? And naturally, now the Republicans are playing the victim card, whining that the Democrats are turning this into a "political stunt." Uh... yeah, "political stunt" is the very definition of what Joe Wilson did; there are consequences for acting like an idiot, just ask Kanye West. I know it happened on the sacred grounds of the MTV Video Music Awards, but isn't it funny that the entire country can agree that Kanye was a jerk over something so trivial, but we're struggling to come to a consensus about the southern politician with a history of racially-charged remarks interrupting the first black president?

Intellectual Truancy

2009-09-07T19:05:00.007-04:00

It's a sad state of affairs when the president speaking to children about staying in school becomes politicized by the right-wing smear machine. I understand why the LOUD NOISES crowd is encouraging parents to keep their kids home from school tomorrow, without the stupid and ignorant, the GOP would lose 90% of their votes and talk radio would lose 100% of its listeners. But what is truly saddening, is that the "liberal media" (lol) is buying into this nonsense (again) and presenting it as legitimate news (again).

After reading the speech (here's the transcript), it's painfully obvious that there is absolutely no controversy here. I don't consider "stay in school" to be controversial, I suppose if you're Sarah Palin, who presided over the state with the highest dropout rate in the country, you could get a little upset. Obviously, this is probably the least controversial thing any president could do, especially considering that George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan all did it, but its only "politicizing education" when the black Democrat does it. Hmmm. By the way, when Reagan spoke to school children, he went off on a tangent about tax rates, but no politics there, right? It's the Gipper!

All this business about "brainwashing" and "Hitler Youth" (yeah, wingnuts are playing the Hitler card again), it's all just another part of the right-wing's concentrated effort to make Obama seem illegitimate. They have zero respect for the man or the office he holds. I'd like to think that it has to do with something other than his race, but I honestly can't come up with anything else.

And before any wingnut jumps in with their list of idiocy, let me stop them right now: Obama's not that liberal, the economy sucked long before he was elected, our spending has been out of control for 25 years (at least now we're spending it domestically instead of in George W. Bush's sandbox), and we're nowhere near "socialism," no matter how much they scream it.

The country is no different than it was on January 19th, so to throw this kind of temper tantrum over something as non-controversial as this, leads me to believe their problems are entirely with the man himself. Not his policies, not his message, just the fact that they can't wrap their feeble little brains around the idea of a leader named Barack Hussein Obama. To hate a President so much that you can't even allow your children to hear him promote a message of "stay in school and work hard"? Yeah, that certainly strikes at something a bit more personal than the friggin' deficit.

Teabaggers: The First Generation

2009-09-06T15:19:00.004-04:00

Our current political climate isn't the first time the extreme right-wing used the threat of communism to stop America's progression:

And here we are today:

Poor, pitiful, angry white men... they've always had it so rough.

The Cult

2009-09-01T18:58:00.007-04:00

No, I'm not talking about the kickass rock band that gave us tunes like "Fire Woman" or "She Sells Sanctuary," I'm talking about the Republican Party, which is beginning to resemble something along the lines of Heaven's Gate. You remember that, right? The crazy people who all killed themselves because they were going to hitch a ride on the Hale-Bopp Comet? Let's contrast and compare for a moment:

Heaven's Gate:
"It is also possible that part of our test of faith is our hating this world, even our flesh body, to the extent to be willing to leave it without any proof of the Next Level's existence."

Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (R-Arkham Asylum):
"This [health care reform] cannot pass…What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass…Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom."

Remember, people voted for this woman, they elected her to public office to represent them in congress. Seriously. And really, slit their wrists and become blood brothers? Does Michelle Bachmann worship Satan? That would certainly explain how she was elected...

And it's not just one crazy person, take a look around at the Republican Party today, it's nothing but frothing-at-the-mouth psychopaths. Let's ignore all the misinformed idiots at all these town hall meetings and focus on the people who actually wield some sort of authority in this country.

How about Louisiana Governor, Bobby Jindal, who claims he performed an exorcism on a young woman when he was in college? I've brought it up before, but it is a 100% true story, it's not some birther-esque conspiracy, Jindal himself has claimed that he performed an exorcism. I have to repeat that one more time - a sitting governor, an elected official, not only believes in the idea of exorcisms, he thinks he's performed one.

Then there's George W. Bush, who sent 4,000 brave men and women to die (and countless others to come back maimed), because God told him to invade Iraq. A twice-elected (well, one and half times elected) president started a war because "God" told him. I don't find that troubling that as an almost-atheist, I find it troubling in the same way that it disturbs me when I see a crazy person muttering about God as he stumbles down an alley. Yeah, we elected THAT guy to be president.

How about Representative John Shimkus (R-IL) who says we don't need to worry about climate change because only God decides when the world ends? That's right, ignore all the science and trash the place because it's not going to matter when God splits open the heavens and sends the Four Horsemen to destroy the world. Sounds like someone's interested in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Then of course, there's Sarah Palin, who belongs to a church that can "pray the gay away" and allows "Pastor" Thomas Muthee to come preach. Palin claims she wouldn't have been elected governor had Muthee not "laid hands" upon her, as he prayed for Jesus to bless her with wealth and protect her from witches. Literal witches, broomstick-riding, cauldron-brewing WITCHES.

I know I've mentioned all these over the last few months in previous entries, but when I compile them all together, can you actually look at it and take these people seriously? It's not just them, there are many more loonies in the party and even more nutjobs that support them, so honestly, please tell me how this party has any credibility?

If I were to sit you down and tell you about a group of people whose leaders believed in witches, exorcisms, a supernatural apocalypse, thought God was speaking directly to them and then called on their members to slit their wrists and become blood brothers, what would you think? Republican Party? Religious cult? Is there really even a difference at this point?

Frustration

2009-08-17T18:41:00.007-04:00

It's been two weeks since I've written anything, mainly because our current political climate has devolved into mind-numbing stupidity. Glenn Beck said the president has a "deep-seated hatred for white people," and joked about poisoning the Speaker of the House (all while his advertisers took their money and ran). Senator Chuck Grassley suggested that folks turn to Jesus Christ for "end of life counseling." And Sarah Palin emerged from the unemployment line to insinuate that President Obama wants to murder her Down Syndrome baby.

Ah yes, Citizen Avon Lady and her mythical "death panels," all this just a couple weeks after ordering the media to "quit making stuff up." In the latest round of Palin exploiting her children for political gain, she sold the idea that if we had a government-run health care system, the handicapped, the sick and the elderly will have the proverbial plug pulled on them. Of course, this is 100% false, but the "liberal media" (lol), in their quest to always look "objective," took the bait and actually reported on this nonsense.

It really is infuriating to watch a serious political debate get hijacked by the LOUD NOISES crowd. People like Sarah Palin have nothing to add to the discussion, so they play to their base of ignorant, uninformed numbskulls to make people scared of health care reform. This is true, someone actually stood up in one of these infamous town hall scream-a-thons and said "KEEP YOUR DAMN GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY MEDICARE!" This is the type of idiot that Sarah Palin is talking to. Now that may make me sound like one of those elitist lefties, but here's the deal: if you actually believe that "death panels" will be a part of health care reform, you don't get to talk. You clearly have no idea what's going on and you will add nothing to the discussion, so shut up and actually read something not from redstate.com or Sarah Palin's Facebook page.

We've let loudmouth morons like Beck, Palin, Limbaugh, Grassley and the residents of Wingnuttia dictate the direction of the health care debate. Because they began frothing at the mouth, the end of life consultations have been removed from the health care bill. That's right, the same people who called for federal interference in the Terri Schiavo debacle don't want you to have access to a consultation about a living will. That's all the "death panels" are, compensating doctors for talking to their patients about an optional living will. So in the unfortunate event that you or a loved one are unable to make a decision about treatment, your wishes will be carried out.

I have it on good authority that Sarah Palin's next Facebook note will be about how you shouldn't be an organ donor, because it's really just a government conspiracy to harvest your organs! Seriously though, the elimination of the end of life provisions is a very dangerous precedent. The spineless cowards in the Democratic Party have once again bent to the will of the lunatic fringe on the ultra far-right. By not standing their ground on this, their fillibuster-proof majority is worthless, all it takes is yelling and screaming from people who have no clue what they're talking about to shut down a bill. That's the Democratic Party I know, blowing the lead in the bottom of the 9th with two outs and no one on base.

Screaming at themselves

2009-08-03T20:28:00.008-04:00

Before I begin, let me clarify that I'm not one to put much stock in polls, I don't think you can accurately represent a country of over 100 million voters by asking 1000 people a series of questions over the phone. Not saying that every poll is wrong, but don't put all your faith in them.

But with that said, Republicans can't shut up about polling these last few weeks. Why? Because Obama's approval rating is down, shocking that they're all over that. So for those folks who are dying to write off an entire presidency in six months because of one week's worth of polling, I want to share a poll of my own.

Political Party Affiliation by State - Gallup

There are currently 37 states that are considered "strongly Democrat" or "leaning Democrat" and you can add DC in there as well for a combined 350 electoral votes. How many are Republican strongholds? Four, with only one additional state "leaning" Republican. Those states are Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, Idaho and Alabama... with a combined 15 electoral votes between them. There you go, there's today's Republican Party, amazing where people can live nowadays.

Above: Ouch.

Naturally, this Gallup poll is not reflected by the way the "liberal media" (lol) covers the news. Just today, MSNBC gave actual airtime to "lawyer" Orly Taitz (yes, her name is Orly) to explain the so-called "Birther Movement" and why she's fighting to "prove" that Barack Obama wasn't really born in the United States. Just watch this video and see that this woman is a special brand of crazy; I mean there's crazy, and then there's Orly! But the Birfers, as I like to call them, have somehow gotten their stupid cause picked up by the mainstream media the last couple weeks and it's still getting reported on even though it has been repeatedly confirmed that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.

But it's not just the Birfers, the media's letting various Republicans, wingnuts and lunatic fringers all over the networks to talk about whatever insanity is on their mind. Just yesterday, This Week with George Stephanopoulos hosted right-wing columnist Michelle Malkin, who's about as qualified to go on that show as I am, and let her just spew her Ann Coulter-lite vitriol. I still see Frank Gaffney pop up all over MSNBC, and he's a guy that thinks Saddam Hussein was not only behind 9/11, but the Oklahoma City Bombings as well. Even Sean Hannity managed to up his "OMG did he really just do that?"-factor by bringing on MARK FUHRMAN to discuss race relations in America... yes, that Mark Fuhrman, the same dirty cop from the OJ Simpson trial who we heard on tape talk about how much he enjoys beating black people.

Then there's John McCain, who seems to get a weekly interview with the news outlet of his choice. I challenge you to find me a Democrat that got as much airtime as McCain has in the six months after he lost an election. I know we sure as hell didn't see John Kerry, Al Gore or Michael Dukakis this much, but somehow that "liberal media" (lol again) seems to find all the time in the world for ol' Johnny. Memo to the media: McCAIN LOST! Overwhelmingly! That means we didn't like his ideas six months ago, why should we have to hear about them now?

So right now the Republicans have less support than the Whigs, yet they still dominate the news cycle to promote their agenda of LOUD NOISES! They don't have the ability to engage in rational discussion (just listen to talk radio), they have no solutions for the nation's problems (just watch C-Span), all they have left to offer is obstruction. They can't tell us why we shouldn't have health care reform, why gay people shouldn't be allowed to marry or why we should take Sarah Palin seriously, so all they do is just ratchet up the crazy and force us to listen. Remember that next time you see footage of Glenn Beck's latest stunt - which will probably be something like setting the American Flag on fire - the GOP is nothing but an increasingly irrelevant political party trying to do anything to get attention. Like a dying television show desperate for ratings, the Republican Party has jumped the shark, the networks just haven't figured it out yet.

Keystone Media

2009-07-24T17:36:00.007-04:00

Need any evidence that race is still an issue in America? Especially in the parts that Rush Limbaugh's fat ass occupies? Just take a look at the case involving Harvard Professor, Henry "Skip" Gates and the media frenzy surrounding it.

Long story short, Mr. Gates was trying to get into his home after locking himself out or his door jamming (I've read both accounts), then a cop strolls along "investigating a break-in" and winds up arresting Gates. A black man arrested because someone thought he was breaking and entering... his own house. In the interest of full disclosure, Mr. Gates was actually charged with disorderly conduct, although I'd be a little disorderly as well if someone tried arresting me for breaking into my own home, especially when I'm already annoyed at the fact that I'm locked out.

The problem was amplified when President Obama was asked about the incident and called the arresting officer's actions "stupid." The police are now demanding an apology from the president. Really? An apology for being called stupid? Here's a tip, if you don't want to be called stupid, don't do something stupid. Just be glad he didn't call the guy a "fucking moron," you fucking morons.

Of course, if Gates were white, everyone would be laughing at Officer James Crowley and rightfully calling him stupid for arresting a guy trying to get inside his own home. But since Mr. Gates is black and this has become a national news story, all the closet racists are slithering out from under their rocks and onto Fox News/talk radio to say everything short of "this uppity black should've known his place."

Looking at the case, I highly doubt that Officer Crowley himself is a racist, but he did something incredibly stupid. Whether or not this was a case of racial profiling or complete ineptitude, you have to be a pretty bad at your job to arrest someone for breaking into their own house. The leeches (Rush Limbaugh) that are trying to turn this into a political issue are the same subhumans that have been pouring gas on America's racial tensions since Barack Obama became a national figure. As their numbers continue to dwindle, it seems Republicans have no problem being the party of nothing but angry white men.

I'm afraid we have to amputate

2009-07-21T20:19:00.013-04:00

After having this charge leveled at me numerous times in post-9/11 America, I have to ask it in reverse, do the Republicans hate America? Honestly, I don't think that's true, they certainly love their version of America: polluted, paved and full of pipelines. No, in reality, I think it's more accurate to say that the Republican Party hates Americans.

See, they like their Americans like they like America, polluted. They're comfortable with the fact that the nation is full of people who are fat and stupid. They certainly don't have any plans to fix health care and if it weren't for stupid people, they'd have no party leaders. In case you missed it, a RNC memo came out this week detailing how the Republicans should kill health care reform and "break" Obama. This is how they view the world folks, you are not important; your well-being, the well-being of your children, it's irrelevant to them. Your health, your life, it's a commodity, a business, and as long as they have any say in the matter (as well as those "Blue Dog" Democrats), that's what it will continue to be. All that matters to today's Republican Party is money and votes, and if that means they have to stand in the way of America's progress to get those things, then that's okay.

Sounds harsh, but take a look at their reasoning behind opposing Universal Health Care:

"Oh it'll cost too much!"
Yeah, never mind that taxpayers already pay more health costs than any other nation, yet we're the only modernized nation without some form of universal health care.

"Quality of care will drop!"
The WHO ranks us 37th in the world in terms of overall care, right between Costa Rica and Slovenia. In terms of life expectancy, we rank 45th, just beating out Cyprus, but below Bermuda. Where do we rank on infant mortality? 32nd. Yeah, we're doing a bang-up job with quality of care.

"There will be an government bureaucrat between you and your doctor!"
As opposed to the insurance company bureaucrat between you and your doctor now? A company stooge whose job it is to keep their costs down, even if it comes at the expense of your health.

"You'll wait forever for treatment!"
Because normally you just fly right through the emergency room and are out of there in no time! As for appointments, I can't even get a goddamn dentist appointment within the next six months.

"The government can't run anything right!"
Yeah, because we still have Republicans. When your party runs on a platform of government being inefficient, maybe you shouldn't be running for positions in government. If we got rid of these roadblocks, we might actually get some work done. And that's really what it comes down to, if you want health care reform, it's time to rid our government of the Republican Party. Like a malignant tumor, we need to surgically remove them with our votes every election cycle.

*PS - bow to my AWESOME MS Paint skills!!!

Sonia v. Sarah

2009-07-15T02:51:00.011-04:00

Don't worry, this one isn't mine, it's just the most brilliant skewering of GOP Frankenstein that I've ever read. Why is it that the same Republicans that have such an issue with Sonia Sotomayor are Sarah Palin's biggest fans?

I used to think that, after the debacle of the Bush years, the train wreck of Sarah Palin and the Obama rout, the Republican Party would recover its sanity and regroup. Clearly, I was wrong. People who argue that Sarah Palin is good for America while Sonia Sotomayor is a threat are obviously out of their minds.

Ouch. You can read the full column right here

"Liberal Media" Strikes Again!

2009-07-13T17:23:00.010-04:00

Take a look at this picture of Sarah Palin, soon to be former governor of Alaska. The biggest loss from that news is that I won't get to call her "Governor Avon Lady" anymore, but according to Time Magazine, I guess I should start calling her "The Renegade." Yeah, that pesky "liberal media" is at it again, tearing down poor Sarah Palin by giving her all sorts of press, taking photos of her looking all nifty on a pier and giving her a super cool moniker like "Renegade." Lorenzo Lamas' career is spinning in its grave.

How does Webster's Dictionary define the term "renegade?"

an individual who rejects lawful or conventional behavior

Well, I guess considering her numerous ethics complaints and the fact that she's out of her goddamn mind, maybe Time is onto something. But that's the literal definition, the media is portraying this as some sort of brilliant scheme that's prepping her for the 2012 election, they're even saying she's taking "the road less traveled," like she's the subject of a friggin' Robert Frost poem. Trust me, Quitty McGee ain't that deep. "Renegade" implies some sort of badass trait, something that sets her apart from the pack, puh-lease.

Sarah Palin is not a renegade, she's not all "mavericky," she's just another Republican. Someone tried to tell me the other day that she's the "new flavor" of politics... apparently the only flavor that person is familiar with is mushrooms because you'd have to be high to believe it. Sarah Palin is plain old Republican vanilla with a couple colorful sprinkles on top, she's the culmination of everything that's sucked about the Republican Party since Nixon. Take your pick: ethically corrupt, moral superiority, extreme arrogance, shallow, greedy, condescending, out of touch, privacy-invading, anti-intellectual, anti-science, anti-civil liberties, pro-war, and most important of all, a hypocrite. Sarah Palin takes all the worst qualities of the Republican Party and rolls it into one winking package.

Yes, she's worse than Bush. Say what you will about W, but "quitter" would never enter the discussion. After all the memos that have been released, I honestly have a bit of sympathy for Bush these days. Sure, he's still the worst president ever, but he just seems so gullible and naive, there's almost this innocent quality about him. I feel like W was a decent human being who thought he was doing good, but was surrounded by cretins like Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzalez, etc.

Palin, on the other hand, is all of Bush's worst qualities, mixed with the political ambition of Karl Rove and all the other criminals. She's dumb as a rock (apologies to rocks), a Jesus™ freak, and someone who thinks with her gut rather than her pea-sized brained like Bush; but then she's also a master manipulator, vindictive and just plain nasty like ol' Turd Blossom.

Renegade? Hardly. This woman is the GOP's Frankenstein.

Bailin' Palin

2009-07-05T20:33:00.007-04:00

Because one blog just isn't enough to celebrate this glorious occasion. I've gotten a bit of negative feedback on my comments about the soon ex-governor of Alaska, had my mental state called into question and have been mocked for writing a blog by another blogger. Seriously. Since you probably have a life, I'm sure you missed the Wingnut Defense Fund (WDF) come out and express their support for Sarah Palin abandoning the people of Alaska. Apparently resigning with 17 months to go in your first term is a good thing, who knew?

I have to admit, I was somewhat surprised by all these apologists coming out of the woodwork, Republicans typically throw their people under the bus at the first sign of trouble: Bobby Jindal was quickly forgotten after that abysmal speech he gave a few months back, everyone's so disappointed Mark Sanford's job after he went hiking the Appalachian Trail (my new favorite euphemism), Rush Limbaugh even said "he could've been our JFK," all but admitting that it was over for South Carolina's governor; but they're not willing to give up Sarah Palin. Oh no, even though she gave a mind-numbing, incoherent speech loaded with bullshit and hypocrisy, the Palin-drones just can't let it go. Like someone about to lose a family member, I believe these poor souls have entered the Five Stages of Grief. Sadly, most of them are stuck in the first two stages, anger & denial. Just find any political discussion on the internet, you'll see what I mean.

But speaking of denial, I did want to share one hilarious quote that I just read a few moments ago. This is from someone trying to convince me that Sarah Palin is a great speaker who actually has a clue what she's talking about:

"I've listened to her speak. She is able to communicate well regarding most any topic that is thrown at her, better than most politicians."

Pardon me while I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I've listened to her speak quite a bit as well and I hear a complete buffoon. It's like the time Bush tried to talk about tribal sovereignty every single time she gives a non-softball interview. Of course, it's hard to find a real interview post-election since she talks to the media less than reclusive celebrities, even though she's a sitting governor. But yeah, listen to any of her interviews during the campaign, there's really only one word to describe her: dummy.

She sounds like a middle school student who has to give a speech to the class, but forgot her note cards and is trying to remember all the neat buzzwords that she learned while researching the subject. She has no clue what she's talking about and she thinks she can get by with cute little winks or just dodging the question.

She's a bigger idiot than Bush, and that takes skill. At least with Bush, as dumb as he was, he seemed like a genuine person who cared about those closest to him and struggled with his decisions... not at all like Palin. Governor Avon Lady is 100% sure of herself 100% of the time and anyone who disagrees isn't a "Real" American. She exploits her children at any given opportunity for political gain (I've seen Bristol Palin give more interviews in one year than the Bush twins did in eight) and she's a vindictive, spiteful, and disingenuous political hack. Sarah Palin is a complete and utter joke; Alaska, America and the world are better off without her in any elected office.

And now for some bonus Palin hilarity. After calling politics a "bloodsport" and threatening to sue anyone who writes anything bad about her, let's hop in our DeLorean and see how Sarah Palin felt about Hillary Clinton's "whining" in March 2008:

Governor Avon Lady to resign

2009-07-03T15:49:00.011-04:00

First, the good news:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Gov. Sarah Palin will resign her office in a few weeks, she said during a news conference at her Wasilla home Friday morning.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but these are happy tears! And I'm going to try to get through this blog even though I am at a loss for words... I'm just so happy!

July 4 is tomorrow, so I guess this is Palin's early birthday present to America? You know, I've said a lot of nasty things about her over the last year or so, but I have to give her credit for knowing exactly what to get everyone. The people of Alaska must be pretty thrilled too, maybe they'll finally have a governor who isn't ethically corrupt, morally corrupt, hypocritical or just plain stupid. But of course, what does this mean for their security? Perhaps Sarah can remain on in some capacity to keep an eye on Russia?

But as I think about it, it's one of those things that seems too good to be true, why is she resigning now? I've already seen this sparking rumors that this is so she can gear up for a presidential run... are you kidding? You can't just resign barely midway through your first term as governor and expect to run in an election that is three years away. I suppose stranger things have happened, but this should effectively kill her political career, unless she wants to be mayor of Wasilla again. If this is some desperate attempt to get attention for 2012, who would take her seriously? How could we trust a President Palin to not just run away when things got too hard? Economy in shambles? Wars? Terrorism? "Thanks, but no thanks!"

But then there's the flipside, potential scandal? Please, please, PLEASE tell me that the whole Argentinian mistress thing is a cover and it's actually Palin's Appalachian Trail that Mark Sanford has been hiking. C'mon, that would be the greatest political scandal in the history of political scandals! Plus, Sanford said the mistress was his soul mate, I can't think of a better woman for him than a brain dead, ultra-religious, neoconservative hypocrite.

Whatever the reason, in the midst of a major economic recession, two wars, and a country that's still stinging from eight years of a complete imbecile running the country, it's nice to get some good news. It's hard to believe it's been less than a year since John McCain unleashed her upon us, but hopefully Sarah Palin has finally got on the Bridge to Nowhere and we'll never have to deal with her again.

FOX News: US Needs another terrorist attack.

2009-07-01T15:24:00.005-04:00

Absolutely disgusting:

Why does Glenn Beck hate America? And FOX News is just as guilty by giving him a platform to agree with this disgusting rhetoric. Sponsors should pull their advertising from FOX and Glenn Beck should be fired... this goes beyond your typical idiot right-wing fear/hate mongering, this is calling for an attack on the United States of America simply because your guy didn't win an election.

It's time for right-wingers to grow up and accept the fact that sometimes you lose, but that's not an excuse to say the only way to fix it is for people to die. Seriously, this is the kind of lunacy usually reserved for whoever is behind the conspiracy on this season of 24. But of course, we all know Republicans get most of their policies from whatever Jack Bauer is up to. How anyone can take these scumbags seriously is beyond me.

Bill Maher > Pundits

2009-06-17T20:12:00.005-04:00

This is why Bill Maher is smarter than the vast majority of the talking heads that infect TV news. Maybe it's not even that he's smarter, perhaps he just has the balls to speak the truth and doesn't twist himself into a partisan pretzel.

And he's absolutely right about all of it. Obama is trying too hard to please the Republicans... screw the Republicans! They had their chance, they broke America and left it for someone else to fix. That someone else is our current president and he'd be better suited ignoring these nimrods than trying to get us all to come together and "compromise," that's code for "do what the Republicans want."

And don't take this as me being partisan, watch: screw the Democrats too! The Democrats are so obsessed with becoming Republican Lite due to this myth of America being a "center-right" country, all they're doing is just slowing progress. As Maher said, we have no progressive party in this country, any true liberal politicians are looked at as jokes and our lazy media is too busy worrying about the latest adventures of Governor Avon Lady to do anything about it.

Since Maher brought up Sarah Palin in that interview, let's make fun of her. I wanted to write a blog about her "feud" with David Letterman, but then the thing just got so ridiculous that I wouldn't be able to write anything without putting my fist through my monitor. If you're curious about my feelings, here's a quick summary that will keep my blood pressure down:

-The joke was funny and every other late night host has told similar ones.
-John McCain - Palin's runningmate - once called Chelsea Clinton "ugly."
-If Sarah Palin wasn't such a shitty parent, the joke wouldn't have been made in the first place. These jokes aren't about making fun of the children, they're about making fun of the Governor for being a hypocrite.
-Palin once again exploits her children for political gain.
-Palin made accusations about Letterman that were far more offensive than his joke.
-Shame on David Letterman for apologizing.
-Palin should stay in Alaska and do her damn job... or at least only come to "Real" America.
-Sarah Palin is a friggin' moron.

That about sums it up. I'm surprised I made it through that without using the c-word.

So yeah... President Obama, show us a little more Candidate Obama and don't worry about the Republicans, they're too busy killing their party from within. And put Sarah Palin on some kind of no-fly list while you're at it. It'll be good for America and the wildlife she shoots from her helicopter.

Domestic Terrorism

2009-06-12T01:41:00.007-04:00

We were warned, but the right-wing media didn't want to listen. Two times in two weeks, terrorism on American soil, but clowns like Joe Scarborough just laughed off the warnings. How funny is it now, Joe?

Why can't the neocons just distance themselves from these murderers? Instead, they try to project it onto the Democrats, even going so far as to call the Holocaust Museum shooter a "leftist." James von Brunn (the shooter) called President Obama a "creation of the Jews," who was coming for his guns. Yeah, real bleeding-heart liberal.

Have the Republicans officially lost their minds? Instead of just coming out, condemning the tragedy and moving on, they have to play the blame game? Is Rush Limbaugh truly so desperate for attention that he thinks simply saying Von Brunn is a "leftist" will make it true? Anyone with half of a functioning brain (okay, that eliminates 90% of elected Republicans and right-wing commentators) can see this guy's political ideology is more in-line with hardcore Libertarianism. Not the fiscal conservative who wants to smoke pot Libertarian, I'm talking about the Libertarian living in a bunker surrounded by gold and various assault rifles.

Von Brunn is not a Republican, and no one is even suggesting he is. The reason the Republicans are so defensive right now is because they threw a fit over the DHS report that was 100% accurate. Republicans tried to use it as a wedge issue and make it sound like Barack Obama and Janet Napolitano were targeting anyone who identifies themselves as conservative. Never mind the report was authorized by the Bush Administration, the neocons saw it as a chance to gain some political points and now it has exploded in their collective face.

While the adults were talking about real threats facing our country, the Republicans were turning it into a spectacle, trying to find something (anything) that could maybe get them back in the driver's seat in Washington. By coming out against the report, Republicans inadvertantly aligned themselves with people who would shoot up a museum or assassinate a doctor in a church. Make no mistake, the museum shooting and the assassination of Dr. Tiller are acts of terrorism, but instead of fighting it, the Republicans continue to play political games.

The crazies are getting restless

2009-06-05T17:53:00.008-04:00

Usually it's just fun to laugh at wingnuts; they're generally harmless, spewing shit so idiotic that no one in their right mind would ever pay attention to them. Whether it's Obama's birth certificate, his choice in mustard, gay marriage leading to the downfall of civilization, or they're named Glenn Beck... they're usually just silly old crazy people, like the kind you'd find pushing around a shopping cart, but not in a grocery store. Unfortunately, the ultra right-wing is growing increasingly frustrated as they become increasingly irrelevant and as a result, they're becoming more dangerous.

All this psychotic rage seemed to begin around the end of the presidential campaign when the McCain/Palin events became glorified hate rallies. We all remember McCain reining in the crazy old woman who called Obama an "Arab," but Governor Avon Lady didn't stop fanning the flames of wingnuttery when she started insinuating that her opponent was a "terrorist." With policemen (in uniform) and various religious leaders to help spread the smears as well, they set the table for the crazies to come feast.

Aligning with psychopaths is a lot like opening Pandora's Box, there is no going back, the toothpaste is out of the tube, insert other cliché here. Obama won the election, but the Republicans had all these new found loonies shuffling around aimlessly like the mindless zombies they are, so they all got together and had themselves a little Tea Party. The tea parties were hijacked from the Libertarian movement and turned into campaign events, funded by neocons like Newt Gingrich and Dick Armey. The teabagging did nothing except show how hypocritical and out of touch the Republican Party was with America; they were essentially complaining that they had to pay for the tow truck after a night of drunk driving resulting in wrapping their Mercedes around a telephone pole. But that didn't stop the crazies from showing up, oh no... the teabaggers weren't just coming to talk about taxes, they had plenty of wingnutty goodness to go around.

But then it got scary, unlike when McCain reined in the racists at those campaign rallies, the Republicans embraced the tea parties and we got a glance at just how fucking insane this party has become. Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann wanted her contstituents "armed and dangerous," Texas Governor Rick Perry talked about seceding from the union and Republican strategist (and complete scumbag) Dick Morris, took a page out of G. Gordon Liddy's handbook and said, “Those crazies in Montana who say, ‘we’re going to kill ATF agents because the UN’s going to take over’ - well, they’re beginning to have a case.”

All this crazy boiled over earlier this week when Dr. George Tiller, a doctor who helped women and their families through an agonizing decision, was assassinated by a right-wing extremist. And then, several sick and demented psychopaths celebrated. I'm not going to get into the abortion debate here - if you agree with a woman's right to choose then I'd just be preaching to the choir; if you disagree, neither of us will convince the other otherwise - but if you think Dr. Tiller was performing these late-term abortions just because the mother "changed her mind," then you're a fucking moron. Pro-"life," but only if it's unborn... grown adults are apparently fair game, and killing them in church is a-okay too. Crazy and hypocritical... a dangerous combination.

But it doesn't stop there... in the last two days, a man is roaming around somewhere in the country, armed to the teeth and carrying a small fortune, plotting to assassinate the President of the United States. Today, a different man was arraigned in New York after plotting to "blow up" President Obama and Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. Mix this in with all these random shooting sprees that have been popping up all over the place and one might think this country has officially lost its goddamn mind.

A lot of people have placed part of the blame on Fox News, especially Bill O'Reilly, for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. As much as I'd like to blame them specifically, it goes much deeper than that. This culture of fear and paranoia has been growing since 9/11, partially because the Republicans have exploited it for political gain, partially because we still have a lot of racists and bigots living in this country and partially because we'll always have people who are just plain bonkers. That Homeland Security report about right-wing extremists (the one the Republicans went nuts over even though it was authorized by the Bush Administration) was spot-on, and I worry that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better.

There is no argument against gay marriage

2009-05-29T18:10:00.004-04:00

If you follow this blog regularly, you know one of the most frequent topics is the issue of gay marriage. People tell me I shouldn't worry about it so much, I'm straight, why should I care, etc. The bottom line is the simple fact that the law applies to everyone equally or it applies to no one. The 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution guarantees equal protection under the law and the 1967 Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia made it explicitly clear that marriage is a basic civil right for all human beings.

I generally shy away from using this kind of language, but not with this topic: there is absolutely no logical or legal reason why gay marriage should remain illegal. None. I've outlined this in multiple blogs and any time the subject comes up, I always ask for a reason to oppose it and no one can do it. Any argument I've ever heard can be immediately debunked by anyone with even the most basic understanding of law and state-sanctioned marriage. My highest education is learning how to talk for a living and I can counter any argument raised by people who oppose same-sex marriage. Imagine what would happen if two brilliant lawyers tackle the subject...

Oh wait, they have. Ted Olson and David Boies, who argued against each other in the infamous Supreme Court case, Bush v. Gore, have teamed up to take this fight to the federal level. Finally! It's time to stop worrying about individual states going through a long, drawn-out process and end this nonsense once and for all. Here's a great video of Olson & Boies appearing on Hardball, how can you possibly argue against the points they raise?

Dick.

2009-05-21T21:22:00.010-04:00

Okay, I've tried controlling my anger, but I can't take it anymore: Dick Cheney... shut the hell up. I really don't like throwing around things like this, but he may very well be the worst person who has ever served in any kind of public office. I don't even know if I can call him a person, he is walking evil. And the media must stop treating his every word as if it has any meaning or relevance to our national dialogue. It's bad enough that President Obama continues to move to the right (and he was already in the center to begin with), but now the media gives Cheney a platform to push the nation even further to the land of insanity.

Now I could just end this blog there and call it a day, but I'm sure some wingnut will barge in and say something to the effect of "why do you liberals hate dissent? Dick Cheney is just voicing his opinion, why do you want to take away his free speech?!" or something equally stupid, so allow me to elaborate.

Dick Cheney is in no position to offer his opinion on anything. Sure, he can mutter whatever he wants from his undisclosed location, but for the media to give this man attention is like asking Richard Nixon about Jimmy Carter's ethics. The Cheney Administration (since it's becoming more and more clear that it was not the Bush Administration) systematically wrecked this country on just about every level. They killed our economy, they ruined our reputation with our allies, they sent 5000 brave men and women to die for nothing in Iraq, and yes, they made us less safe. Furthermore, when it comes to issues of national security, everything that Dick Cheney ever said over the course of his "vice" presidency was demonstrated to be 100% wrong:

"There's a link between Iraq and al-Qaeda"
"Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction"
"The war will be over in six weeks... six months, tops"
"The war will pay for itself"
"We'll be greeted as liberators"
"Bush kept us safe"
"Waterboarding isn't torture"
"Waterboarding saved lives"
"Ending waterboarding makes America less safe"

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.

Plus the dozens more I can't remember off the top of my head. On the issue of torture, all of the information that we gained from those who were waterboarded came before they were tortured. The only reason these men were subjected to the "enhanced interrogation" methods was to create a link between Iraq and al-Qaeda. Yes, the Vice President of the United States authorized torture to falsify evidence in order to mislead the American people to go along with the Iraq War. Imagine a police officer planting evidence on a suspect, then multiply it by the 5000 lives that were lost in Iraq... that blood is on Cheney's hands.

Between the torture and the outing of a CIA agent for political gain, Dick Cheney doesn't belong on television, he belongs in a prison cell. That's the only reason I can imagine why we've seen him more in the last two months than we have in the last eight years, he's trying to keep himself out of jail. If he becomes a vocal opponent of the current president, any investigation into his war crimes will appear to be politically-motivated and Washington will turn into a bigger circus than it already is. Way to go, Dick... politicizing the Justice Department even when you're out of office, that takes skill.

It's obvious that Dick has no other real motivations behind this other than to save his own skin. If it were strictly out of concern for his country, he would've ran for president; of course he would've been demolished since he has the lowest approval ratings of just about any individual politician in the history of the nation, but if he's THAT concerned, he should've went for it. If Bush-era policies truly made America more safe, it would've been Cheney's duty to the country to attempt to continue them. But no, he's just fine going on all the talk shows, smearing legitimate war heroes like Colin Powell (how many deferments did you get, Dick?) and continuing the fear mongering that plagued this nation since the day after 9/11. The American people have rejected the politics of fear and the politics of the worst administration in the history of this nation, it's time the media do the same.

Supreme Exaggeration

2009-05-17T19:26:00.002-04:00

Just a quick little thing I wanted to share with you today. I was torturing myself, watching Fox News (nothing else is on Sunday afternoons!) and they just had an anchor on there say something to the effect of "the most controversial issues of our time, abortion and gay marriage, will be in the hands of one person, the next Supreme Court nominee."

I know it's always an issue when the Supreme Court comes up, but did the folks over at Fox forget that we've already had the abortion debate? Roe v. Wade put the subject to bed, at least in terms of legality. Obviously people are trying to overturn it, but the decision on abortion doesn't rest solely in one person's hands, we've already had people make that decision... 36 years ago. If we want to travel down that road again, it's going to take a long time and go through a lot of people before it even reaches the Supreme Court, so saying the decision is in the hands of one person is beyond ridiculous.

Sensationalism from Fox News? I'm stunned!

Sinking to new lows

2009-05-13T15:38:00.012-04:00

Gay marriage has been legalized in five states: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and Maine; New York and New Hamsphire could be added to the list very soon. So here we are, 10% of the states in the union recognize same-sex marriage and society has not collapsed onto itself. Straight marriages aren't threatened, the "family unit" has not come unraveled and the only difference seems to be that gay people are enjoying (or will soon be enjoying) the same rights as everyone else. That is of course, if you don't pay attention to the right-wing, who have lost their collective shit. Take a look:

Watching that video makes me literally nauseous, I'm not kidding. To paraphrase the video, when I have to listen to scumbags like Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Pat Robertson, I want to puke. These are despicable human beings and they should be ashamed of themselves (if they had shame) for spreading this kind of bigotry. "The Gay Gestapo?" Seriously? Yeah, God forbid someone call you out on your hate and intolerance, you phony moral crusaders. A few months back, I said that people who make these kind of arguments are subhuman and it's sad that I even need to discuss it now, but apparently the wingnuts aren't going to let it go. These smears, lies and distortions are all patently false and I'm going to put these disgusting arguments to rest right now.

Gay marriage is not going to lead to polygamy. As it stands right now, there is nothing illegal about a married man or woman bringing a third, fourth or fifteenth partner into their home. Many people live in open marriages and if they choose to do that, that is their own decision as consenting adults. But the state legally recognizing a plural marriage will lead to several complications that would not be present in a monogamous gay or straight marriage. We provide tax incentives to married couples, if the state recognized a plural marriage, those incentives would double with each additional spouse, which would create all kinds of tax issues. Welfare and immigration abuse would skyrocket; we already have enough problems with people getting married simply to secure immigration status, now imagine if someone could turn it into a business. A man could theoretically charge immigrants to marry him so they could become citizens of this country. Also, think of how messy divorce is in America when it's just two people, imagine a court wasting time, resources and taxpayer money trying to figure out paternity rights, division of property, alimony and inheritance for three, four, or ten partners... the cons far outweigh the pros for legalizing polygamy.

Gay marriage will not lead to man-child marriage for one simple reason, pedophilia is illegal. Children are not in any position to give legal consent, and even if they think they would want to marry an adult, that's why we have statutory rape laws in place. Gay marriage, just like straight marriage, will be between consenting adults.

Despite what Bill O'Reilly fantasizes, gay marriage will not lead to a man marrying a turtle, bestiality is illegal. Animals have none of the legal rights that humans do, they cannot enter into any legal contract, including marriage. Having sex with an animal is animal abuse, and much like with pedophilia, animals cannot give legal consent, so there's no legal argument to be made here.

These concerns being raised are completely insane and it further proves the bigotry of those who oppose gay marriage. Yes, if you use these arguments, you are a bigot, plain and simple. They're trying to equate homosexuality with various perversions and fetishes, to give the impression that there's something wrong with a gay person. There's nothing wrong with gay people, but I think the above video shows the only perverts in this debate are the twisted deviants who make these kind of arguments.

Spoiler alert: when you support bigotry, you'll be on the wrong side of history. Just like our treatment of the American Indian, our usage of slavery, suppression of women's rights, Jim Crow laws, and the internment of Japanese citizens during World War II, the fact that we even needed to have this debate about gay rights will be looked back on with shame and disgust. Gay marriage will be legal in this country, hopefully sooner than later, but it will happen... You can't stop social progress, those who try will always lose.

Miss Bigot

2009-05-12T13:36:00.018-04:00

I really didn't want to write about this, I didn't want to give her any more attention, she's already got way more than she deserves, but then "Miss California" Carrie Prejean just had to go and say this:

I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, "Do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me and you need to share with all these people . . . you need to witness to them and you need to show that you're not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA." And I knew right here that it wasn't about winning. It was about being true to my convictions.

Yep... Satan's fault. Couldn't possibly be the fact that you're a closed-minded bigot, that pesky Satan was tempting you at a beauty pageant! So apparently if you support gay marriage, you're doing the devil's work. Wow. You stay classy Christian conservatives!

This false sense of importance from evangelicals never ceases to amaze me. Yes, you're so important than Satan personally chose to tempt you with a question about gay marriage at the Miss USA pageant. I'm sorry, but when you say things like that, you should probably be committed to a mental institution. This isn't morality, you're just crazy. And while I'm on the subject doesn't the far-right already have enough intellectually-challenged, beauty pageant losers running around spreading their wacky religious beliefs?

Let me be clear, I couldn't possibly care any less about this whole "feud" (I'm rolling my eyes as I type that) with Perez Hilton. I think the world would be a better place without Perez Hilton's celebrity gossip and the Miss USA pageant, both things are complete wastes of time and I can't fathom how anyone could give a shit about either one of them. Seriously, what purpose do beauty pageants serve? Much like how there isn't a single reason to oppose gay marriage, I don't think there's a single reason to support beauty pageants.

Anyway, my problem isn't with her response to the question, it's with Prejean seizing an opportunity for fifteen minutes of fame, hopping on the homophobic bandwagon to promote the National Organization for Marriage. Much like Joe Wurzelbacher, Carrie Prejean is a know-nothing nobody. Her opinion is no more valid than mine (although I do have the ability to speak in complete sentences) yet no one can attack her because she just stated her opinion? Please. She's whining about her freedom of speech, but I got news for you, freedom of speech doesn't mean anything you say gets to go unchallenged. The Grand Wizard of the KKK has an opinion, that doesn't mean people don't get to call him a racist.

This vapid bimbo is nothing more than Anita Bryant 2.0, but unfortunately, no one has hit her in the face with a pie yet. Hiding behind her disgusting interpretation of Christianity, Prejean will continue to spread her bigotry because it gives her the attention she desperately seeks. Making yourself a star at the expense of someone else's rights, I guess a pretty face can't cover up an ugly soul.

Poutrage

2009-05-11T16:00:00.009-04:00

Unsurprisingly, today's talking point from the right-wing media is that comedian, Wanda Sykes went too far in her speech Saturday night at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Sykes jabbed at Rush Limbaugh, mocking him for his comments about wanting Obama to fail, saying it was borderline treason, she hopes his kidneys fail and that he was supposed to be the 20th hijacker on 9/11, but was so strung out on Oxycontin that he missed his flight. The White House issued a statement today saying 9/11 was off-limits, which isn't surprising, but the conservatives still aren't letting it go, saying all her attacks on Rush were over the line... have these people never actually listened to Limbaugh? Sykes was tame! Let's take a look at more glaring hypocrisy from the right:

Jokingly calling Limbaugh treasonous was over the line, yet Ann Coulter is free to write a book called Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism and Rush is free to call the president a thug.

Sykes "crossed the line" with hoping for Limbaugh's kidneys to fail. I guess some people see it as poor taste to make light of an illness, but that didn't stop Rush Limbaugh from mocking Michael J. Fox for having Parkinson's Disease. Or Ted Kennedy's brain tumor.

And saying Rush Limbaugh was supposed to be the 20th hijacker is beyond the pale, but please ignore the fact that Rush just described Obama as "the follow-up to 9/11." Seriously... and that was just last month.

The fundamental difference here is that Wanda Sykes' performance was roast-style joking. Yes, it was edgy and controversial, but it was still comedy; I can't speak for Sykes, but I don't think she really wants Limbaugh's kidneys to fail and she obviously doesn't believe he was the 20th hijacker. Yet Rush Limbaugh says shit like this every single day and it only makes the news when it's really over the line.

All this uproar over Wanda Sykes is just more manufactured outrage from the masters of pretending to be offended. It's hilarious that the party that's always whining about left-wing "political correctness" is always the first to cry foul when someone hurts their wee little feelings. Here's the truth, the Republican Party is still pouting over the fact that they got their asses handed to them in the election, so they'll grasp at any straw they can to smear Democrats. Just look at the last few weeks of phony outrage: moaning about the unfair treatment of some beauty pageant bimbo that ran her mouth about gay marriage (even though she's clueless to the subject), attacking Obama's choice of mustard, and now Wanda Sykes making a couple mean jokes about someone who spews venom on a daily basis. Here's a tip to the right-wing smear machine, don't dish it out if you can't take it.

And just for some laughs at how absurd it is to defend Rush Limbaugh while calling Wanda Sykes harsh, here are some more of Rush's greatest hits:

"We are being told that we have to hope he succeeds, that we have to bend over, grab the ankles ... because his father was black."

"Liberal black politicians" envy Fidel Castro's "dictatorial power"

"Everybody knows it was the vacuum cleaner that liberated women more than the pill"

"I think the media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They’re interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well. I think there’s a little hope invested in [Donovan] McNabb and he got a lot of credit for the performance of his team that he really didn’t deserve."

Obama's Supreme Court pick will be "a teenage single mother, who's gay, is a lesbian, who's dirt poor, African-American, and disabled"

"AIDS was going to get really bad but it didn't"

For more on Rush Limbaugh's racism, sexism and generally stupidity, just check Media Matters.

Sean Hannity is great... for me to Poupon

2009-05-09T00:52:00.012-04:00

I don't know if you've noticed, but occasionally Fox News is the funniest damn thing on television. Clearly they're not a real news network and their entire on-air staff is composed of the biggest nimrods in broadcast history, but it is a never-ending source of hilarity. If you can manage to watch the network without feeling a need to evacuate your bowels, did you catch Sean Hannity this week? Sean really skewered Barack Obama this time, he caught the president - on camera - ordering a hamburger... with spicy mustard! THE HORROR! Yes friends, this is what the Republican Party has reduced itself to... mocking Obama because of his "fancy burger."

But Vannity wasn't alone, Laura Ingraham joined the promotion of "Dijongate" (seriously), "I don't even like the way the man orders a hamburger. ... What kind of man orders a cheeseburger without ketchup but Dijon mustard?" Apparently, Ms. Ingraham is unaware of the fact that this is America, where you can get a hamburger made out of a fucking donut, there's nothing we WON'T put on a burger.

USA! USA! USA!

Never mind the fact that "spicy mustard" is available in every supermarket in the country and I guarantee you can get some form of it (or elitist Dijon) at the vast majority of restaurants in this country. Even All-American company, French's sells a spicy mustard. OMG! Commie Socialists have invaded our condiments! Next thing you know, Obama will be making us put Worcestershire sauce on our hot dogs!

Fox and the other clowns from the right-wing propaganda machine are free to waste their airtime however they see fit, but really, this? Look, I know you're desperate to make fun of the guy after Bush gave us so much ammunition over the years, but just accept it, Republicans aren't funny. It's okay, you're the curmudgeon party, you're not supposed to be funny. Relish in the fact that you're a bunch of angry old white men shouting at kids on the lawn, it's what Dick Cheney does! Embrace your inner Dick, it suits you.

National Day of Prayer

2009-05-07T12:59:00.007-04:00

On this, the National Day of Prayer, I am praying for the end of the National Day of Prayer. There is absolutely no reason to have the government involved in something like this and I'm already tired of the faux outrage from the right because Obama is choosing to pray privately (which is what it says to do in the Bible). We've got too much prayer in this country, too many people wearing their religion on their sleeve, how about a National Day of Secularism? Or a National Day of Logic? And how about we celebrate it 365 days a year?

The funny thing about this bullshit holiday is that it's only been around since 1952. My dad is older than the National Day of Prayer, so it's just more evidence that this country has been hijacked by the religious right and they've been at this for quite a few decades. It is a direct violation of the First Amendment and the exact opposite of what our Founding Fathers intended. Let's take a look at some quotes from our third president:

"Fasting and prayer are religious exercises; the enjoining them an act of discipline. Every religious society has a right to determine for itself the time for these exercises, and the objects proper for them, according to their own particular tenets; and right can never be safer than in their hands, where the Constitution has deposited it. ...civil powers alone have been given to the President of the United States and no authority to direct the religious exercises of his constituents."

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between church and State."
-Thomas Jefferson

Many of our Founding Fathers were believers in one way or another, but they were also very critical of religious institutions and they actually questioned the very idea of religion. Benjamin Franklin once said, "The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason," imagine if a candidate today said that. He'd be run out of town, tarred and feathered by the right-wing propaganda machine and his political career would be over. Today, you don't necessarily have to be as crazy as George W. Bush and hear voices in your head, but you do have to have some religion. Of course, this is unconstitutional, but it's an unwritten law, so there's really not much rational people can do about it.

You know what I hope Obama is doing to celebrate today? Working! He's the President of the United States, he's got far more important things to do. Prayer sure as hell isn't going to get us out of recession, get people back to work or solve the crisis in Pakistan (actually I think prayer is the exact cause of the crisis in Pakistan), so I'd much rather him be getting shit done. I know Barack Obama is a man of faith, but for the sake of this nation, I hope he's lying. We had eight years of a man who thought he had magical powers and look where that got us... maybe it's time for an appeal to reason? Pray on your own time, do what makes you feel good, but keep it away from our government.

RIP Radio

2009-05-06T17:29:00.012-04:00

Once again, the good folks over at Media Matters have exposed the dangers of corporate media and why Rush Limbaugh is rolling in a new $400 million contract while his bosses at Clear Channel are bleeding cash at an alarming rate. Ironically enough, $400 million is the same amount of money Clear Channel is trying to save this year, they've already cut 12% of their workforce in the process. This is a subject that's near and dear to me since I was one of the many victims of the collapse of the radio industry in the last two years.

This isn't directly Rush Limbaugh's fault, though the environment he created in the radio industry probably didn't help. No, as much as I would love to blame the long lost son of Jabba the Hutt, it's not his fault that the people who sign his paychecks are complete idiots. Blame falls in the lap of corporate media, it's the same reason newspapers and television stations are dying off - the parent companies are just too damn big. Media consolidation and deregulation has put these companies in the same position as the financial giants "Too big," but radio isn't considered "too big to fail," so no bailout for them. And you know what? Good. Even though I'm no longer in my chosen profession, corporate radio needs to die.

And this is back when Clear Channel was actually making money.

When times were good, the heads of Clear Channel were arrogantly walking on sunshine, pushing a political agenda and continuing to make the industry smaller and smaller, but now that times are tough, they throw out a nine-figure contract to Limbaugh while axing thousands of people across the country. Does Limbaugh deserve a ton of money? Of course, but $400 million? Give me a break. I'm sure some conservative will come whining to me about wanting to "punish Limbaugh's success," but to that I ask, why do you want to keep others from succeeding?

Why are today's conservatives so worried about the guy making $400 million, but could seemingly care less about the guy making $40,000? What about the people left in the radio business who are taking paycuts and doing the job of three employees? What about the death of local content? What about live, in-studio broadcasters being replaced by Voice-Tracking so employers only have to pay someone for one hour of work instead of five?

There will never be another radio success story like Rush Limbaugh, not as long as companies like Clear Channel control the business, corporate radio can't afford a personality to get bigger than the station they're on. A handful of corporations took away the ability for minimum wage radio employees to become as successful as Rush thanks to the government allowing them to own the entire industry. Radio has become an environment where employees can't strive for more, they can't ask for a raise, they have no advantage in contract negotiations and they certainly can't threaten to take their work elsewhere. In today's radio industry, you're lucky to just be employed, so you're expected to shut up and do what you're told. How are you supposed to work your way up when the ladder is in quicksand?

More Fun With Jack Bauer

2009-05-04T13:59:00.003-04:00

Joseph Farah, one of the many lunatics over at the wingnut fringe site WorldNetDaily posted an article today titled Life imitates '24', once again trying to justify our use of torture because Jack Bauer does it on TV. I already covered this absurd notion a couple weeks ago, but there was one thing about the show that I forgot to mention, and that's the fact that 24 is the first carbon neutral television production. Now, if the right-wing wants to use a work of Hollywood fiction to justify breaking the law, then how do they reconcile that with the idea that the people behind that show are championing the "liberal" cause of fighting climate change?

It's funny because I discussed this very same topic the day before I wrote about Jack Bauer in my Earth Day column; why is the party that uses 24 to support torture, not listening to 24 about the environment? It's an appropriate analogy for the Republican Party, wrapped up in fiction while ignoring the reality that's right in front of their face.

Here are some PSAs from the cast of 24 about climate change:

24 Going Green PSA - Kiefer Sutherland

24 Going Green PSA - Cherry Jones

24 Going Green PSA - Mary Lynn Rajskub

Extreme Makeover: GOP Edition

2009-04-30T22:38:00.004-04:00

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem and I have to hand it to the Republicans for actually making it that far. With more people believing in ghosts than identifying themselves as a Republican, the party knows they've got some serious work to do if they're ever going to win another election and thankfully, they've decided it's time for a re-branding effort. When I heard about this, I thought it was great news, the party realizes they're at risk of becoming a fringe, opposition party, it's time to get some fresh faces out there to revitalize the party!

And then of course, they showed who the fresh faces are: Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Jeb Bush, Eric Cantor, Mitt Romney, Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and Haley Barbour. There's only one clichéd internet meme that can properly sum this up:

And to make matters worse, they're calling this the National Council for a New America. Wait a minute, "New" America? What's wrong with the old America? Well, they did break it, but still... why do they hate America so much that they need a new one? I guess after that whole Real America thing didn't work out, they just feel they need to start all over.

In all seriousness, these are the people you thought would reconnect the Republican Party with the average voter? Really? I'm pretty sure when you're trying fix a failed brand, you don't go with the people who messed it up in the first place. If a plumber makes your leaky pipes worse, you probably shouldn't trust him to do something about your flooded basement. Let's take a look at our future New American leaders:

Newt Gingrich - Newty is pretty much the poster boy for what screwed up America, the prelude to Bush Era neoconservatism which reignited the culture wars. God & guns, fear & smear, etc. As noted earlier this month, Gingrich (an admitted adulterer) reemerged as a national figure to call Barack Obama "anti-religious." When I think of who would make a great leader for this new and refreshed Republican Party, I can't think of a better candidate than the ultra-polarizing, 65-year-old ex-Speaker of the House who's been in politics since 1974.

John McCain - Excellent strategy Republicans, when looking for someone to revitalize your party after a crushing defeat in an election just six months ago, go for the guy that lost the presidency. I'm sure no one will remember the vile, disgusting campaign where he and his constituents essentially called our current president an anti-American terrorist who will kill your baby. No, he's definitely the key to winning over hearts and minds.

Eric Cantor - Hey, we finally found someone under the age of 65, so that's a start. Unfortunately, that's also the end. Cantor's pretty much like a male version of Sarah Palin - empty suit, emptier head. I suppose we could call him John Boehner in training. Here's Cantor really hyping up the whole re-branding process.

Haley Barbour - The governor of Mississippi. Good thing the GOP has him to rebrand their party, because I bet Mississippi would've been up for grabs in the next presidential election! I know the Republicans have been having some trouble with such a progressive, liberal state like MS, so I'm sure a southern, career politician over the age of 60 will give them a huge helping hand.

Bobby Jindal - Oh Bobby, you're a never-ending source of entertainment. I can understand why the Republicans are pushing Jindal, they want to show that they also have a young, charismatic non-white guy... or they're just big fans of 30 Rock, but "the Republican Obama," this guy is not. In reality, Jindal is just another neocon, he supports a constitutional ban on flag burning and he believes that he actually performed an exorcism (and no, I will never get tired of that story). Although I wonder if the Republican base will constantly refer to Bobby by his real name "Piyush" and demand to see his birth certificate, much like they do with "Hussein Obama."

Sarah Palin - The biggest embarrassment in American political history and the Republicans want to trot her around again? I know I've been sarastically joking throughout this list, but for Sarah, I need to just come right out and say it to the GOP - you're supposed to be re-branding, you morons! You don't revitalize your party by bringing out Governor Avon Lady! Look, I know she's Neocon stroke material and she likes to shoot things, but she is possibly the most disgusting politician in America today and I will never apologize for saying that. Sarah Palin epitomizes exactly what's wrong with today's Republican Party and if they're using her to reconnect with voters, they'll be in the history books right next to the Whig Party very soon.

Jeb Bush - But as bad of a choice as Sarah Palin is to fix your tainted image, at least her name isn't Bush! Really Republicans, REALLY?! You're going to try to go to this well for a third time? You're going to try to use Jeb Bush as a figurehead of the new GOP while his brother just finished up the worst... presidency... ever? Dubya's been out of office for 101 days and his approval ratings are still dropping and you're going to enlist his brother?! I believe that is the very definition of "balls." Or "completely detached from reality," I'm not sure which. Considering how popular Meghan McCain is, I think you'd have better luck using Jenna Bush instead.

There you go folks, this is what the Republican Party came up with - old white men, career politicians, empty suits, relatives of the worst president in history, people who believe in exorcisms and the hockey mom pitbull with lipstick. This is literally the best they can do, go even further to the right and say "good riddance" to folks like Arlen Specter. They believe losing moderates will "purify" their party as they set up shop in the idealogical fringe section of America. The party of Lincoln is long gone, hell, this isn't even the party of Reagan anymore, this is the party of wingnuts.

100 Days of "Fair & Balanced"

2009-04-30T00:27:00.004-04:00

Those far-left radicals at Media Matters are at it again with their video evidence. Damn liberals and their facts:

What Would Jesus Drive?

2009-04-29T16:01:00.003-04:00

Introducing the Jesus license plate, courtesy of our friends in Florida. For those people who think a bumper sticker just isn't enough to spread their religious beliefs, Florida has you covered! I wonder how all those elderly Jews in Florida feel about a Jesus and his amazing pectoral muscles being on a state-issue license plate. Surely this has to violate the separation of church and state, right? Not according to Governor Charlie Crist, who says if you don't want one, you don't have to get one. Apparently the governor thinks these things just print themselves and they're not produced with tax dollars.

And really Governor, that's the can of worms you want to open, if you don't want one, you don't have to get one? Okay then, I assume that means Florida will soon be issuing license plates with the Star of David, an Islamic crescent moon, Buddha and various Hindu gods? What about a license plate with Zeus? Or how about one with Satan and a pentagram on it? Hey, if people don't want one, they don't have to get one.

For all my religious readers, would you even want something this offensive on your car? If I were a Christian, I would find this to be one of the tackiest things I've ever seen and I'd be furious at the genius who thought this would be a good idea. I don't think being screwed to the back of a Volvo is what Jesus had in mind when he died for our sins. Isn't this the very definition of using the lord in vain, exploiting his image while you make a trip to the mall?

I can't wait for this to become a huge embarrassment for Florida when someone gets one of these plates with the custom tag "ATHE1ST" or "STN_666."

Kit Bond + Fox News = Sunday Stupidity

2009-04-26T18:29:00.005-04:00

So I'm torturing myself, aka watching Fox News, and just like actual torture, watching Fox News often leads to bad information. Missouri Senator Kit Bond is on right now defending torture like a good little lapdog and he's using this clichéd line that if we prosecute the high level officials that authorized torture (Dick Cheney), then we'll turn America into a Banana Republic. No, he doesn't mean we're all going to get a nice pair of khakis, he means that like a South American dictator, Obama would be using the law to get political power.

Of course that claim is embarrassingly stupid and only something a Republican could come up with, but what really bothered me was Bond saying we can't criminalize these actions. What actions, torture? We can't criminalize torture? That's essentially saying we can't criminalize crime. Torture is illegal. I keep hearing everyone from right-wing whackjobs all the way to President Obama saying we have to look forward instead of backward and we can't dwell on the past, but using that logic, we'd never prosecute anyone for a crime. Once the crime is committed, it's in the past; if I punched Kit Bond in the face, I don't think the judge would be too impressed with my "hey, let's look to the future" defense. Just to be clear, I don't advocate violence against anyone, even political figures, I leave that up to the conservative media.

Fox News apologist Chris Wallace continued this idiotic conversation by asking Democratic Senator Carl Levin if the next president considers Obama's tactics in Pakistan to be a war crime, should Obama be prosecuted? There's really no other way to say it after such a stupid question, but Chris Wallace is apparently a complete idiot. Presidents don't just get to decide what is and what is not a war crime, torture is undoubtedly a war crime and is considered as such by the entire modernized world. Once again, Wallace was just demonstrating that Fox's bias isn't just from Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity, but it permeates every facet of the network, even their "fair and balanced" reporting.

Senators Levin and Bond continued their debate with Bond suggesting that releasing these torture memos have made us less safe. Levin, showing the common sense absent from his Republican counterpart, made the simple observation that releasing these memos wouldn't be necessary if the law hadn't been broken in the first place. Terrorist groups have already used the fact that we torture as a method for getting new recruits; the release of memos doesn't change that. The Republican Party, specifically the previous administration made America less safe, so all those people who claim Bush "kept us safe after 9/11," you need to remember who authorized the use of these tactics.

24 is not a documentary

2009-04-23T21:12:00.009-04:00

I know they're the party that elected The Terminator to be governor, but has the Republican Party truly become so insane that they're endorsing war crimes because they see it on TV? The United States of America does not torture, but that doesn't stop Glenn Beck and other Fox News shows are airing clips from 24 where Jack Bauer defends his techniques in a congressional hearing; is that really the route you want to go, Fox News? You weren't airing clips when Jack Bauer was interrogating a corrupt president, and we sure could've used his help with that the last eight years. This is how silly our national dialogue has become, the adults are trying to have a rational discussion about defending America and then the Neocons barge in and say we should torture people because the guy from Young Guns does it all the time.

Leave it to the hypocrites of today's current Republican Party to rely on something from Hollywood to justify their methods. I thought they were all just a bunch of latte-sipping liberals over there, but somehow they have the right idea on how to interrogate a detainee? Real life is not television, the conspiracy doesn't unravel at the top of every hour, we don't wrap up conflicts in one perfectly-timed day and you can't get travel all across Los Angeles in 10 minutes. Seriously, have you watched 24 lately? It gets more ridiculous every year, and this is coming from a guy who watched seven seasons of a teenage girl slaying vampires.

Bringing this back to reality, I am stunned to see people actually defending the fact that we waterboarded Khalid Sheik Mohammed 183 times in one month. That's six times a day. If waterboarding is so effective, why the hell would you need to do it 183 times? Apparently it was done so much to discover details about a link between Iraq and 9/11, of course there was none. Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, I can't possibly be worried about the treatment of the man who orchestrated the 9/11 attacks can I? Yes, I am. I'm not defending Khalid Sheik Mohammed, I think he should rot in prison for the rest of his miserable existence, but we cannot justify torture under any circumstances. No matter how horrible the person or their actions, we can never stoop to that level of barbarism.

I hear people like Rush Limbaugh say these guys weren't tortured, they were just slapped around a little bit. Well, if it's something so innocuous, what's the point? If they're not being hurt, why would that make them talk instead of just a normal interrogation? To the people who say waterboarding specifically isn't torture, I suggest you watch this video:

That's conservative writer, Christopher Hitchens, saying that waterboarding is undoubtedly torture. You can find videos like this all over YouTube of people in a controlled environment, who know they're in no imminent danger, lasting no longer than mere seconds.

If you have any other doubts that waterboarding should be classified as torture, why did we put Japanese war criminals on trial after WWII for waterboarding? What changed since 1945? Torture had no place in our society 64 years ago and it certainly has no place here today. We cannot appeal to our basest of instincts, and sacrifice our morality because of fear or a thirst for vengeance. What makes us better than people like Khalid Sheik Mohammed is that we hold ourselves to a higher principle those principles must apply to all people, even the most heinous villains. There are no exceptions for justice.

Going green, because I'm about to vomit

2009-04-22T17:29:00.010-04:00

In honor of Earth Day, I need to get something off my chest that's been bugging me for awhile, I hate the "going green" movement. It's marketing buzzwords for things that we should just be doing. Do I really need people blowing millions of dollars on advertising to tell me that I should be buying an energy-saving light bulb that will last years longer than an incandescent bulb? Everyone should be using reusable shopping bags, not just because of the environmental impact, but because they're simply better than plastic. Do we really need a silly gimmick like everyone turning off their lights for an hour when we can just do what our Dads bugged us about for years: turn things off when you're not using them? In our current economic climate, we shouldn't need to be told to not be wasteful, it's common sense.

We all know I'm as liberal as they come and I'm definitely concerned about the environment, but we need to get real. We're not running out of landfill space, we're running out of polar ice caps... recycling a Pepsi bottle isn't going to stop global warming. So what can we do to stop it? Probably the first thing we can do is drop the phrase "global warming," because any time there's snowfall, some dumbass Neocon runs their mouth and says "where's all the global warming?" showing a complete misunderstanding of science as opposed to their usual misunderstanding of politics.

Climate change is real, and we're getting beyond the point where average citizens can save the planet one tree at a time. The only thing that's going to truly fight this threat is money, lots and lots of money, the kind of money only mega corporations and world governments have. It's good to do whatever you can, because it will save necessary energy, resources and money, but there's no need to go crazy over the green trend. Instead of worrying about whether or not your grill is a hybrid, maybe you should worry whether or not your congressman believes in climate change or if he actually thinks the earth can only end when God brings about the Rapture:

Getting fined for cursing is bullshit

2009-04-20T16:45:00.005-04:00

Joseph Loflin, a Texas man, has been fined $170 for "disorderly conduct." What was he doing that was so disorderly? He said "shit." You know, on second thought, Texas... you can secede.

I don't know what about this story is more disturbing, that you can be fined for cursing or that someone felt the need to call the police because a man said "shit." "He kept repeating the word in front of my child," the 'victim' said. Have we become this fucking ridiculous as a society that we can call the cops on someone because they said a word that you don't want your precious little snowflake to hear? I can understand getting upset if a guy was using a slew of curse words to describe some explicit sex act in front of a small child, but the guy was bitching at his neighbors about their cat shitting in his yard and the kid overhearing was 13 years old. 13 for fuck's sake, unless this kid is home schooled, I guarantee she hears far worse on a daily basis.

It's bad enough that radio and television has been stifled by these moral crusaders, but now I can't even say shit on my own street? I don't know if these people are aware, but you do not have a right to NOT be offended. The First Amendment protects all speech, even the most vile, disgusting, hateful thing you can imagine... if it didn't, how else would the Republican Party continue to exist? This is the third language citation issued in this Texas county in the last year. In August, a woman was cited for saying "fuck" in a personal conversation in a Walmart, apparently her right to a private conversation was overruled by someone's oversensitivity. Now, if you want to take your complaint to Walmart's manager, the company has every right as a private business to ask that woman to leave, but no government should ever have the right to issue any sort of punishment.

So Galveston County, Texas and any other city who thinks they have the right to regulate free speech... grow the fuck up you whiny little bitchy fucks.

UPDATE
Just to illustrate this country's fucked up priorities, while we're fining a guy for saying "shit" in front of a 13 year old girl, another 13 year old girl has to appeal to the Supreme Court to fight being forcibly strip-searched by her school because she was accused of having ibuprofen in her backpack.

It's not hypocritical to point out hypocrisy

2009-04-19T17:49:00.009-04:00

The recent argument coming from neocons against people who are bashing their little tea parties is that "liberals hate dissent" and things to the effect of "only liberals get to protest, right?" Well, no one is saying you don't have a right to get together for tea time (so very European of you, by the way), we're just amused at the hypocrisy. Leftist "hate site" (code words for "they use facts"), Media Matters, recently tackled this one when it comes to Fox News and their sudden change of heart on the First Amendment.

Protesting is great and I'll defend your right to say it until the day I die. I think the KKK has every right to march on the public square, Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist are well within their rights to spew their hate speech, liberals get to protest the war and conservatives can protest Obama's fiscal policies, just don't get pissed when someone offers a legitimate counterpoint. And don't be surprised when someone calls you on your bullshit... and we're going to do that right now:

If these are fiscal protests, where were they for the last eight years when government spending was just as out of control? Why did they pick this tax day to protest when they're paying their taxes for fiscal year 2008? Anyone who paid taxes last week paid Bush taxes, no one has paid a dime in Obama taxes. There hasn't been a tax increase since 1993 and taxes are almost 20% less than they were under that socialist icon, Ronald Reagan. Why all the sudden venom towards the federal government?

Let's just call these protests what they really are, "We Hate Obama Rallies." A continuation of the hate-filled campaign events that summed up the final few weeks of the McCain/Palin campaign. The right-wing HATES this man with the kind of fury that I've never seen toward any politician (and no, not even Bush). In less than three months, the right-wing has become unhinged and gone completely off the deep end, throwing a temper tantrum not unlike a child being told he has to clean his room.

These are the same people who called protesters "sore losers" in 2000 after Bush/Gore and then claimed they "hated America" when they had the audacity to protest the Iraq War. Look, I know we have crazies on the left like PETA and Code Pink, but those groups are generally brushed off and have no real say in politics, but now, the right-wing is taking to the streets and talking about SECEDING from the union!

These aren't just fringe extremists coming out of their Montana shacks, these are elected representatives in congress. Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann wants her constituents "armed and dangerous," Texas governor Rick Perry fanning the flames of secession, now the Georgia state senate is talking about secession as well, Alabama congressman Spencer Bachus has his list of "socialists" which officially puts the Republican Party in reruns, the reemergence of culture warrior Newt Gingrich to call Obama "anti-religious," Tom Delay talking about the dangers of Obama expanding the federal government when he was a part of the administration that expanded the federal government more than any other administration in history, Bobby Jindal echoing Rush Limbaugh's "I hope he fails," Dick Cheney claiming Obama's made us "less safe," Dick Armey organizing these tea parties, Mike Pence ranting about federal spending while he strongly supported the $3 trillion (and counting) Iraq War, and those are just some of the actual politicians who have lost their minds.

What about the Fox News lunatics? They've really cranked it up a notch in the last few weeks, haven't they? Glenn Beck alone would be enough to damn that entire network. Last year he ranted against the "entire pop culture" being responsible for violent crime in America, but can't see how anyone could possibly think the mass-shooter in Pittsburgh who feared the "Obama gun ban" could be influenced by his rantings. And what about Beck saying people need to "drive a stake through the heart of the bloodsuckers" while having a graphic displaying Obama as a vampire on screen? Or when he dumped "gasoline" on someone and said "Obama, why don't you just light us on fire?!"

This kind of violent rhetoric being spewed from the Timothy McVeighs of the world is one thing, but these are politicians and major media outlets. If you really think these tea parties are just about fiscal policy, then you need to look closer or you're in denial. These people are talking about a violent uprising against the federal government over a 3% tax increase on the wealthiest 5% of the nation? Seriously? No matter the real reason why these people hate the president, and I'm sure they'll give you plenty, this "movement" is being fueled by anger and scare tactics. Fear & Smear - the Republican bread and butter.

Mike Pence (R-IN) is a joke

2009-04-15T19:30:00.007-04:00

So I was just watching MSNBC and during Hardball, they brought on congressman Mike Pence of Indiana to defend the teabaggers. According to Pence, these aren't just Republicans, these are average Americans who are sick and tired of taxes, massive government spending and the expansion of the federal government. Seriously, Republicans make this too easy, let's take a look at congressman Pence:

-Pence is a vocal supporter for the War in Iraq, responsible for at least $3 trillion in government spending. $10 billion a month in Iraq is okay, but trying to reinvest in the American economy during a major economic crisis is just ridiculous for congressman Pence.

-Pence favors the Bush tax cuts, which were the only time in the 232-year history of the nation that anyone has ever suggested cutting taxes during war time. Those tax cuts gave you a $300 check, but gave the wealthiest 1% millions.

-Pence supports federal bans on online poker, that sounds like massive government expansion into the free market to me. According to Pence, government is too big, but it can still tell you how to spend your money.

-Pence opposes stem cell research, claiming it would interfere with his pro-life stance and that he is "a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order." Well Mr. Pence, I'm sorry to tell you that you are a United States congressmen and when it comes to your job, your loyalty must be to the Constitution.

So let's see: opposes federal borrowing and spending, but supports the Iraq War which is $3 trillion of borrowed money and opposes the expansion of the federal government, but wants to control how you live your life and what kind of medicine you should be able to receive. Mike Pence, just another in the long line of Republican hypocrites.

Are you teabagging tomorrow?

2009-04-14T14:00:00.004-04:00

In case you missed it, here's American Razor's first story on Republican Teabagging. Oh wait, I think this is actually the first story I wrote about Republicans who love to teabag.

Pirates of Somalia: Curse of the Republican Party

2009-04-13T16:07:00.017-04:00

I'm sure you heard about the standoff between the US Navy and the Somali pirates over the weekend? They had an American ship captain held hostage and they were surrounded by Naval destroyers, which obviously created an uncomfortable situation. Naturally, we wanted our American citizen back alive, but he was also the only bargaining chip these pirates had to make it out of the situation alive. Leave it to the Republicans to turn a scary, volatile and delicate situation into a chance to gain some political ground against the Commander-in-Chief. As always, instead of presenting logical ideas that could work, they went to their tried and true tactics of smear and fear. Yes, in the middle of a hostage situation, Barack Obama had the audacity to send in... a hostage negotiator! Here's Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck, Fox News and the rest of the right-wing propaganda machine to explain how Obama is losing the battle against piracy:

Unfortunately for the Neocons, the story didn't quite turn out the way they had hoped for; the American captain was rescued and the pirates were killed by Navy SEAL snipers. Of course, I don't think the Republicans wanted the guy to die or anything, they just didn't want Obama to look good after they hinged their bets on this situation ending badly. They wanted a situation that would make the president look weak, this is their latest smear tactic after he showed respect to the Saudi king. As always, never mind the glaring Republican hypocrisy of them not saying a word when Bush would invite the Saudi king to the White House and hold his hand or share a kiss.

The goal of making Obama look weak in this situation was to create the illusion that he was succumbing to the demands of terrorists by sending in a hostage negotiator. However, anyone with a functioning brain (therefore excluding Glenn Beck), would know that there is a difference between hostage negotiations and negotiating with terrorists. The negotiations weren't "give us back the captain and we'll give you a million dollars," it was "keep that captain alive or we will be forced to kill you." There was no escape for those pirates and their only choice was to keep the captain alive and be brought into custody or kill the captain and be blown out of the water. That's not a terrorist negotiation, that's trying to save an innocent man's life. The pirates weren't showing any signs of being willing to negotiate and it appeared they were going to kill the captain, so the SEALs were left with no choice but to take them out, luckily the hostage was not harmed in the process.

The thing that confuses me the post about this latest Neocon phony outrage is what exactly did they expect? Did they just want the Navy to blow the pirates out of the water and chalk up Captain Phillips' death as a broken egg in the omelet? I guess it's like their ideas on friendly fire... it's somehow less sad if a soldier is killed by one of our bullets on accident instead of the enemy's on purpose? This just seems like a very strange story to go after the president on because there was no way those pirates were escaping that situation without being captured or killed. Their only argument that seems to remain is the fact that it took awhile to get the situation resolved, but if you go that route, then Republicans once again prove that they cannot tell reality from fiction. Hostage situations take time, often several days, real life is not like "24" and you can't send in Jack Bauer to single-handedly save the hostages before the end of the hour.

Perhaps instead of rushing to judgment, the neocons should take some of that medicine that they prescribed to people like me the last eight years and not be a part of the "blame America first" crowd. This story had a happy ending, an innocent man was rescued and dangerous criminals were brought to justice, yet the Republican Party just had to open their mouths and make themselves look foolish once again... which makes it an even happier ending for me.

The funniest damn thing I've ever seen

2009-04-09T23:02:00.002-04:00

Just thought I'd share this little slice of hilarity with you:

How does this affect you?! HOW?! Give me one reason why someone's gay marriage affects you in any way, shape or form and I'll never raise the issue again. The right-wing has completely lost its damn mind.

Meet the Newt Boss, Same as the Old Boss

2009-04-09T00:34:00.009-04:00

Is the Republican Party truly so desperate for a leader that they've allowed Newt Gingrich to reemerge? Man, I almost feel sorry for them at this point. And is it 1996 again, why is he back on my television screen on a nightly basis? Is he planning a run for president? Oh, that's just hilarious. Yeah, take the poster boy for 1990s "conservatism" and let him run for president in 2012 after those principles are a direct cause of the mess we're in now.

If ol' Newty truly is gearing up for a presidential run, I expect it to play out just like Rudy Giuliani in the last election; everyone will start picking out bibles to swear in President Gingrich as soon as things start looking bright for the Republicans and then he'll fail to win a single primary. Honestly, is there anyone out there who actually likes Newt Gingrich? This guy would be lucky to have a higher approval rating than Dick Cheney. While he would be far more qualified for the job, I can't see this guy getting more primary votes than Governor Avon Lady, as much of a joke as she is, some people inexplicably love her. Who loves Newt Gingrich... besides his third wife?

In case you missed it, Newt started flapping his gums yesterday and had the audacity to call the Obama administration "anti-religious." Are you fucking kidding me?! If anything, Obama is far too religious considering his weak stance on gay marriage and his desire to expand so-called faith-based programs. So where's this anti-religious nonsense coming from? Oh, because Barack Obama appointed a gay man to the 25-person White House advisory council on faith-based initiatives. First off, why do we even need a council on faith-based initiatives? Let's get the government out of faith-based initiatives and let's get faith-based initiatives out of government, we'll all be a lot better off that way. Secondly, gotta love the idea that Obama is "anti-religious" because he has a gay person on an advisory board about religion. How very Christian of you, Newt... but at least you're just flat-out admitting that those heathen homosexuals aren't allowed in your little club.

I would LOVE to see a debate between Gingrich and Obama about morals and values. Newt Gingrich, an admitted adulterer who has had three wives (including one he divorced while she was recovering from cancer), is going to tell Barack Obama how to be a good Christian? Between this assclown, Palin's laundry list of religious insanity and Bobby Jindal performing an exorcism (sadly I'm not kidding), how can any religious person look at the Republican Party and actually take them seriously?

Tea Time

2009-03-22T19:09:00.007-04:00

Does anyone else find it a little funny that the Republicans - the party of guns, NASCAR dads, war, and opposing homosexuality - are running around having tea parties? I don't even think five year old girls play tea party anymore.

Insults aside, let's talk about the new fad amongst our Neocon friends, the modern-age Boston Tea Party. Nevermind the complete ignorance to history here (Bob Cesca pointed that out in a hilarious editorial), the Republicans have once again piled into their manufactured outrage clown car and are ready to protest like liberal hippies! What are they protesting, the pointless war? Infringments on our civil liberties? Oh right, these are Neocons we're talking about... money, massive government spending to be precise. Where were these guys over the last eight years when Bush put two wars on a Chinese Mastercard?

War in Iraq: $3 trillion and counting
Money borrowed by Bush: $1.05 trillion (more than all previous presidents combined)
Neocon hypocrisy: Priceless

Now I can understand people might be a little worried about Obama's spending plans considering the state of our economy, but where were all you protesters when we were getting into this mess? It's like getting pissed at your mechanic for telling you it's going to cost $2,000 to fix the Porsche that you drove into the ditch because you were on a meth binge. Yeah, America is in trouble, but the only way to fix it is to stimulate the economy that your party broke. Pumping money into the economy (our economy, not Iraq's) means people are buying goods and services; if people are buying goods and services, then businesses will thrive; if business thrives, that creates jobs; job creation means more people with money to spend on goods and services; rinse and repeat.

Unless of course, all these teabaggers are staunch Libertarians opposed to any and all government spending. Well, put down the Obi Ron Paulnobi action figure, crack open a history book and read about what happened when Herbert Hoover froze government spending during a recession, it gave us one of the pieces to the puzzle known as The Great Depression. Seriously, after eight years of giving Bush a free pass, you're going to oppose government spending in a time when it makes sense because the guy in charge has a "D" next to his name?

Along with "spending," beware of other buzzwords that you may hear at a tea party:

-Taxes: Under Obama's plan, taxes will revert back to Clinton-era levels. I know we had major concerns back then like blowjobs and Elian Gonzalez, but the taxes were only about 3% higher for the wealthy than they are now. Speaking of the rich...

-Wealth Redistribution: This could also include "Obama punishes success!" Yeah, it's true, Obama will raise taxes on the wealthy... yet the wealthy will still pay less in taxes than they did under that socialist icon, Ronald Reagan.

-Pork: Often heard along with "earmarks" and "porkulus" (a Neocon attempt at humor to mock the stimulus bill). Nevermind the fact that earmarks account for less than 2% of the stimulus package, but not all earmarks are bad, its federal money requested by a congressmen for a specific project. Sometimes it's a ludicrous request (John McCain used all kinds of examples during the campaign), but often it's for things like roads and bridge repairs. Ask the good people of St. Paul if getting money to repair the I35 bridge would be considered "pork."

-Socialism: Just smile and nod at anyone who says this as they obviously have no idea what the word means.

So next time turn on your TV and see the liberal media covering a Neocon tea party, feel free to run on down and offer to trade a protester's "USSA" sign for a mirror.

Michael Phelps' Magical Mystery Tour

2009-02-05T20:31:00.005-05:00

Michael Phelps owes no one an apology and all these nimrods that are upset about the guy taking a hit from a bong should be apologizing to him for the inconvenience. The guy did nothing wrong and the only reason anyone is upset is because he shatters another of the dozens of myths about marijuana usage.

If you manage to wade through the sea of lies and half-truths about marijuana, the one that seems like it has merit is that smoking weed makes you lazy. Now, once and for all, Michael Phelps put that excuse to rest as well. Yes, stoners are lazy, but not all marijuana smokers are stoners and not all marijuana smokers are lazy. You don't win more gold medals than anyone in the history of the Olympic games by being a burnout. Michael Phelps busted his ass to get where he is today and he deserves to have some fun and relax, and marijuana helps with that. No one would bat an eye if there was a photo of him drinking out of a beer bong, would they? Of course not, but alcohol kills a lot more people than marijuana. Taking car accidents out the equation, alcohol kills roughly 85,000 people a year. Marijuana? 0. None.

This ridiculous double standard has got to stop. We have no problem slapping Jim Beam, Crown Royal or Budweiser's logo all over NASCAR vehicles when thousands upon thousands of people die in drunk driving accidents every year, but a swimmer can't hit a bong in his free time without losing his sponsorships? Give me a break. When are we going to realize marijuana is not some evil plant that is grown for the purpose for harvesting your child's soul?

I hate to sound like I'm beating a dead horse but this whole issue with Michael Phelps just really sent me over the edge. There are two reasons why marijuana is still illegal: one, supporters for decriminalization are generally idiots who do more harm than good. And two, a good portion of this country still has this childish, irrational fear of it based on the steady flow of misinformation that's been spread for the last 80 years. The first can be solved if High Times Magazine stops with the ridiculous bud centerfolds every month and the second can be fixed just by looking at Michael Phelps. Here is the poster child for nothing being impossible and working hard to achieve your goals, but now he's some kind of monster for smoking pot? Seriously America, it's time to grow up.

Besides, have you seen the guy's diet? This whole pot thing should've been obvious.

Save the Gays!

2008-12-23T15:55:00.010-05:00

I apologize for the lack of updates as of late. Honestly, there just hasn't been much to write about - we all know the economy sucks and Obama doesn't take office for another month, but thankfully there's always one issue that's sure to spring up every couple months - the gays!

Outside of the election, this is probably the most frequent topic here at American Razor and it just makes me even more angry every time I have to talk about it. I still have no idea why this is even an issue and why we can't just leave gay people alone, but two occurrences have brought the topic back to the forefront.

First, Barack Obama selected Pastor Rick Warren to deliver the prayer or whatever the hell it is they call it at his inauguration. Warren supported Prop 8, which we all know banned gay marriage in California and homosexuals are upset that Obama would select him for this role. The media - dying to undercut Obama before inauguration like they did with Clinton - has pounced on this story and made it out to be this huge thing. Here's the bottom line - 99% of these well-known religious "leaders" are a bunch of raving lunatics that have at least one belief that will piss off at least one minority. Obama's pandering, no question, and he needed someone that would appease the crazies that thought Jeremiah Wright would be there screaming "kill whitey" while delivering the prayer. Still, pretty lame on Obama's part to throw these people a bone when that style of religious politics was rejected with extreme force when he won the election in a landslide.

The other part of this story was that the Pope came out this week and said gays must be saved in the same essence that the rainforest must be saved. On one hand, I'm kinda happy that the Catholic Church believes the rainforest needs to be saved - there are a lot of nutjobs out there that think it's totally okay to ravage the planet because Jesus is coming really soon and it won't matter if we trash the place; all the good Christians will get to go to Heaven and those silly Jews and the other sinners can tidy up afterwards. But on the other hand, the guy that runs around in his flowing robes, magic wands and fabulous hats is equating gays to the destruction of the planet, which is offensive on about 47 different levels.

Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Liberace I

I'm not going to beat the dead horse - I've made my feelings on gay marriage and mixing politics with religion abundantly clear over the last few months and every time I ask a very simple question - why is gay marriage an issue? Give me one, single, solitary reason why we're still talking about this and why any straight person would actually waste a portion of their life to oppose something that will never have any impact on them whatsoever. Honestly, if one person could ever provide me with a legitimate, legal reason as to why gay marriage should remain illegal, I will at least entertain the thought. Until then, I will maintain my position that there is no excuse for this kind of discrimination and anyone who opposes gay marriage is either incredibly naive, closed-minded, bigoted or just plain stupid. Sometimes all of the above.

Merry Christmas (and Happy Holidays) to all and for my religious friends like the Pope, remember that nice Christmas tradition of peace on Earth and goodwill towards men... even if they have sex with other men.

The Burnout Bailout

2008-11-15T00:20:00.004-05:00

After spending $700 billion to bailout the banking industry (although apparently there's some shady business going on with that), now the auto industry wants a bailout too; in the interest of fairness, Obama supports this, I do not. Granted, he's more qualified to speak on this in his sleep than I ever would be, but I still have to disagree with it. I know it would be bad for the economy and could potentially leave four million people without work, but you know what? Nobody is going to bailout Circuit City employees.

Here's the deal - Ford, GM and Chrysler are in trouble because they've done nothing but present shitty cars that nobody wants to buy anymore. GM passed on the patent to the Hybrid car several years back because it "didn't make business sense" and now they're trying to tout how much they care about the environment with their SUVs that get a whopping 22 mpg! Yeah, let me know how that makes good business sense when gas goes back up to $5 a gallon.

We love to talk about free market capitalism, but when things get REALLY ugly, our government - Republicans and Democrats - go running right to socialism to save it. The Big Three have all been prime examples of what happens when you let greed and irresponsibility run rampant in business with absolutely no regulation and we can't keep giving these people the so-called "golden parachute." Let them all fail and let it be a sobering wake up call to any business that thinks the practices of the last thirty years - downsizing, slashing benefits, killing off pensions, etc. - is the way to run a business. Just a little fun fact to illustrate how out of hand big business has gotten - twenty years ago the average CEO earned about $35 to every employee's $1, today, they earn $475 to every dollar.

But it's pretty cold to just let all those people that depend on the auto industry to go without work, right? You're right, I'm way too liberal to just let these people fend for themselves, so let's put all those people back to work in a budding new industry - marijuana!

Yeah, I said it. While the American auto industry rebuilds itself to provide consumers with cars that serve a better purpose than compensating for men with small penises, all those people that are out of work can work in the marijuana industry. Come on, if we're going to get serious about fixing this economy, there's no better way to do it than the complete legalization, regulation and taxation of marijuana. You might think I'm crazy, so let's go to tale of the tape:

$45 billion
That's how much money is spent per year in the War on Drugs by federal and state governments. Just typing the numbers isn't enough, so let me spell it out - forty-five billion dollars per year! That's almost double what the auto industry is asking for in their bailout. Now of course, not all of that is just spent on marijuana and there's no way I'm going to convince anyone to legalize all drugs (that would just make too much sense), but marijuana is the most widely distributed illegal substance, so it probably takes up a good portion of that $45 billion.

$26 billion
That's how much money state and the federal governments receive in tax dollars per year from tobacco sales. Some analysts say that if marijuana were taxed like alcohol and cigarettes, it could bring in at least $6 billion per year in taxes. Sounds like a lowball figure to me, tax it a little extra and get it into the tens of billions, people will pay... it's legal weed.

83 million
The number of people over the age of twelve that have admitted to smoking pot in their lifetime. Now imagine if it were legal and people didn't have to go to the ghetto or call their creepy dealer to get it.

$113 billion
If this were the Price is Right, that would be the estimated retail value of the illegal marijuana trade according to a study done by Jon Gettman, a pothead with a PhD in public policy and regional economic development. He estimates that of that $113 billion, at least $30 billion would go to the government in taxes... what could we buy with all that money? Some new schools, new roads, fix our failing bridges, and oh yeah - bailout the automakers.

Hey, if we're "going green," let's get serious - all this pot isn't going to farm, grow, distribute, and sell itself. And you know there isn't going to be one brand of weed - all those potheads you went to college with are going to start their own businesses and turn marijuana into BUDweiser, Miller HIGH Life, and Rolling Blunt. Think about how many people are employed by the liquor industry and think of how many people would be employed by the pot industry if it were legalized. It would be a billion dollar industry, boost sales for Frito-Lay and could totally save our economy... and even if it didn't, we'd all think everything was just fine anyway.

I'm a Uniter, Not a Divider

2008-11-05T12:41:00.004-05:00

Wow.

Despite all the ranting over the last few months, I never thought things would turn out like this. Ohio, Florida, North Carolina, Indiana, Colorado, New Mexico, Virginia, Nevada and Iowa all turning and giving Barack Obama a decisive victory - a landslide - in this election. It still hasn't quite sunk in yet that Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States - the same United States that looked like an entirely different country four years ago. I remember coming home from work the morning after the 2004 election and just having this sinking feeling in my stomach that the Neocons were going to hang onto government for decades, but here we are, just four years later and the world is an entirely different place.

I'm writing today, not to gloat, not to rub it in anyone's face, but just to be happy. I know I've written some harsh things about John McCain in the last few months and I stand by every word, but the man gave a powerful concession speech last night and should be commended for his gracious and classy exit from the race. As I watched McCain last night, it got me thinking about where it all went wrong for the Arizona senator; now there will be plenty of time to place blame, and I will, but there's only one thing that really held him back - he wasn't John McCain.

Think back to the primaries, who was McCain running against? A borderline theocrat, Mike Huckabee; a Bush clone, Mitt Romney; and a cross-dressing, egomaniacal, scumbag, Rudy Giuliani. All three Neocons in every sense of the word and would undoubtedly continue many (if not all) of George W. Bush's policies. Why did McCain win that primary? Because Republican voters came out and voted for the guy that would be least like Bush and given McCain's history, he was the most logical choice. Republicans, Democrats, the entrie country was done with Bush and that's why McCain won the primary, but then as the campaign heats up and Obama gets the Democratic nomination, McCain becomes Bush.

I loved John McCain, I would have voted for him in 2000 if he got the nomination and I would have likely voted for him in 2004 against John Kerry, but that John McCain was not around in 2008. I've been over this numerous times and I'm not going to beat the dead horse, but I honestly don't know what McCain was thinking when he surrounded himself with "Bushies." Hindsight is always 20/20, especially when America overwhelmingly rejects the policies of the last eight years, but these people do this for a living, how could they not have seen this coming? Neoconservatism is dead... I wouldn't be surprised to see them try one more time in 2012 with someone like Palin, but that's another discussion for another day; as it stands now, Americans are done with Neocons.

So let's move forward. Obama supporters - I know after the last four years, you're dying to just let loose and go crazy, but we still have a lot of work to do. Getting him elected was just step one, if we sit back and kick our feet up, then Obama's presidency will be about as effective as Bush's second term. The far-right got Bush re-elected and just figured that everything would be fine and dandy and look where it got them four years later. We have to prove to our opposition that Barack Obama was the right man for the job. When someone calls you a socialist or a baby killer for voting for Barack, instead of just calling them an idiot, tell them why they're wrong. If someone makes an inaccurate statement about Obama, politely correct them. When someone tells you America is doomed, tell them why you voted for Barack.

Non-Obama supporters - I hope you can look at this presidency with an open mind. It was ugly campaign, no question and you may have heard a lot of misconceptions about Barack Obama, I ask that you give him a shot. I know our side freaked out when Bush got re-elected, but we already had four years of the guy, we were pretty sure what was going to happen. Obama's brand new, give him a chance to sink or swim, don't let the blowhards on talk radio sabotage him before he's even inaugurated. They did the same thing to Clinton in 92, but we turned out okay over the next eight years, right? We don't know if Obama will be a good president or not, but we're all in this together and it's not going to help anybody if we let the far-right destroy his presidency before it begins.

Barack Obama ran a campaign unlike any other presidential candidate in history - he took the high road, he surrounded himself with people who weren't the typical Washington insiders, he didn't take a dime from corporate lobbyists, and he ran on a message of hope and change rather than fear and smear. Supporters, let's make our president-elect proud and show the world that we support Obama in a fashion similar to how he campaigns. Those on the other side, we welcome you with open arms and we'd be happy to do whatever we can to inform you about the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama.

Obama 08!

2008-11-02T21:00:00.005-05:00

So throughout the history of this blog, I have constantly ranted and occasionally raved about why John McCain, Sarah Palin and the current Republican Party should not be allowed anywhere near the presidency or our government in general. My writings are generally negative because the world we live in is negative - the hypocrisy of our politicians, the lies, the smears, the incompetence, the idea that there's a "Real America," etc. - these things make me angry and my desire is to shine a light on them... but not tonight. Tonight's piece isn't about why I'm voting against the Republican Party and John McCain, this is strictly about why I'm voting for Barack Obama.

When Barack Obama first appeared on the national stage at the 2004 Democratic Convention, I could instantly tell that he would be a major player in American politics, but I never thought he could potentially become president. Honestly, I didn't even think he had a chance of getting the nomination when he announced his candidacy, but his entire campaign has been about bucking the status quo. I'm glad I was proven wrong and I'm proud to say that I experienced history when I cast my early vote for the first black man to ever receive a major party nomination for president of the United States. Does Obama's race matter? We all like to say it doesn't, we especially like to say it shouldn't, but it does. Don't get me wrong, I'm not voting for Obama because he's black, but I do think it will send a major message to the rest of the world if a country with such a racist history like ours elects a black man named Barack Hussein Obama to the presidency.

Obama is the candidate the world wants us to elect; now of course we're not at the mercy of the rest of the world when it comes to who we vote for, but we do need to consider things like this. This isn't the early 1900s, it's 2008, we can literally communicate with the rest of the world in seconds, we live in a global market and when our economy fails, so does everyone else's. I've heard a lot of small-minded people say it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks, but it does. Our dollar is practically worthless, our reputation throughout the world is possibly the lowest its ever been and our basic infrastructure - roads, power grids, bridges, and communications - becomes more antiquated by the day as China trailblazes. Barack Obama understands we've lost our standing in the world and that's not a slam on America, that's a fact. You don't get fixes from people who don't think something is broken, but Obama understands that we've lost our way in the world, but watch the video of him in Germany where 200,000 Germans are waving the American flag and cheering him on - the world wants us to lead again, we just have to step up to the plate.

You can run down the gambit of issues and see where Obama stands on everything, but at the end of the day, we're voting on who can restore America's reputation and make the country a better place to live in. Barack Obama is a once in a generation kind of candidate who certainly doesn't have all the answers, he certainly won't fix every problem facing our country, but he's the step in the right direction that we need right now. We're at a crossroads in our history and we can choose to continue down our same path or we can finally make a change. It won't all get better on January 20 if Obama is sworn into office, but it very well could be the day that the world looks back on and says "this was the moment." Again, it's not all about Barack Obama, it's about every person in this country and on this planet that know we can do better as a society and Obama understands that desire.

We can continue to look at America like a child looks at his mommy - perfect in every way and anyone who criticizes her is wrong - or we can look at America like a person looks at their spouse - flawed, but through hard work and compromise, they can come together to improve one another. I choose the latter, I hope you do as well on November 4.

God & Government

2008-11-01T17:39:00.004-04:00

In case you haven't seen it reported on the news, Senator Elizabeth Dole (wife of former presidential candidate Bob Dole), is in danger of losing her job come election day. In a true act of complete desperation, Sen. Dole put out an ad linking her opponent Kay Hagan to an atheist group and the ad ends with a picture of Hagen and a woman's voice saying "there is no god!" Of course, the voice is not Hagan's, but it's certainly the message that the smear is trying to convey. Here, see for yourself:

Pretty disgusting. Hagan has no "godless" connections, in reality (where the non-Republicans live), she's an ex-Sunday school teacher. But you know what, even if Hagan were some godless atheist - who cares?! Let's read that silly little thing called the Constitution again:

no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.

Oh how I wish that were true. We like to say there's a separation of church and state, but we all know that an atheist or an agnostic has no chance at higher office in this country. Sure would be nice though, someone governing based on personal morals and principles rather than their warped vision of a belief structure, but when Sarah Palin is possibly three days away from becoming Vice President, I have no hope for that scenario.

Look at what religion has done to our country, just in the last eight years we've been ravaged by a bunch of complete lunatics that think God is talking to them. 9/11 was religiously motivated, George W. Bush claimed he had superpowers when he saw Vladimir Putin's soul, he also said that God told him to invade Iraq. Religious nutjobs got Bush reelected in 2004, how's that working out for us? And now, thanks to John McCain's maverickosity, we get someone even worse than Bush in Governor Avon Lady.

Sarah Palin belongs to a church that believes in witches... literally. I'm sorry, that has nothing to do with morals and values, that's just stupid. We've had eight years of this "values" nonsense and it has affected every facet of our culture from Janet Jackson's tit at the Super Bowl to the Ten Commandments being displayed on public property to women's rights being on the verge of being stripped away to homosexuals being treated as second-class citizens just because their bedroom behavior doesn't meet the standards of people like Sarah Palin.

A little less God would do our government a lot of good. To be honest, I really don't think Barack Obama or John McCain are all that religious; pure speculation on my part, but I think Obama sees the church as a way to unite people around improving their community and I think McCain sees religion as a way to get votes from the people that reelected Bush. For the sake of our country, I hope that they're both lying when they talk about how devout they are, but the scary thing is, I know Sarah Palin is not. This woman isn't just your average Christian who is trying to live her life by the teachings of Christ, she's a theocrat like Mike Huckabee who thinks we should change the Constitution so that it fits "God's" will. Of course, her god is an ultra-corrupt bigot that wants to tell you how to live your life.

This notion that a person isn't fit for office because they don't believe in God turns my stomach. Honestly, I think the more devout you are, the less qualified you are to be serving our secular nation - if you want to preach, get out of the governor's mansion and go to church. There's a place in our culture for religion and if that's what gets you through the day, fantastic, but when it comes to our government, the Elizabeth Dole ad is right - there is no God.

Razor the Blogger vs. Joe the Plumber

2008-10-30T20:09:00.009-04:00

A quick heads up - in the next few days, I'm going to be posting a piece on why I'm voting for Barack Obama. Not why I'm voting against John McCain, not why I'm voting Democratic, why I'm specifically voting for Barack Obama, so be on the lookout for that, I should have it posted by Sunday.

Now I'd like to talk about the biggest thing pissing me off today... Joe the Plumber, or as he should be known: Sam Wurzelbacher, the unlicensed plumber that is nothing but John McCain's desperate attempt to show he has a connection with the everyman! Yeah, you know all those everyday Joe Sixpacks out there that have a PUBLICIST! Are you fucking kidding me?! This douchebag has hired representation and is working on a book deal and a record deal to produce a country music album with Aaron Tippin.

I tried to let the Joe the Plumber thing go, it was painfully embarrassing to watch, but whatever, it's the kind of thing politicians do - put a face to an idea. But now this guy is out there with all this media, saying that an Obama presidency would be the "death of Israel," and even talking about running for congress... I can't take it anymore. So here's what I'm going to do, I'm publicly challenging Joe the Plumber to a debate. We're both Ohioans, we both feverishly support our candidates and we're both about as qualified to be Vice President as Sarah Palin.

If you're one of the seven or eight people that read this blog, tell your friends to tell their friends about this challenge. Hopefully, it'll get back to Joe (you can even tell him that I called him a douchebag) and he'll agree to it. I'll go anywhere - Toledo, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Cincinnati, even Defiance, OH... Joe can name the place, he can name the venue, he can even pack the crowd full of Republicans, just make sure there's a camera there to tape it and a moderator from that wacky liberal media. I guaran-damn-tee that I know more about the American political system than JTP and I want to expose this guy as nothing but empty overalls, plucked from obscurity by the McCain campaign and presented to me as what "Real America" supposedly is.

Joe Wurzelbacher is not an accurate representation of the average American, he's a puppet that is milking his fifteen minutes of fame for all its worth. He's a fraud, a shill, and I'm pretty sure utterly clueless as to what he's talking about. I'm so sick of the political process being turned into a pageant, we're talking about the direction of the free world, not what makes a cute story to make up for your sagging poll numbers and your complete absence of an agenda for getting the country back on track. Joe the Plumber is a joke, and I would love the opportunity to prove it. So how bout it? Wouldn't you like to see two "average" Americans from a crucial swing state debate the issues just days before the election? Well, I don't have a pending record contract, so I don't know if I'm as average as Joe, but hopefully he can make time in his busy schedule for the little people.

C'mon, if we're going to spend the last five days of the election turning it into a circus, let's get serious about it!

Pump and Pay

2008-10-28T01:22:00.004-04:00

I know it's instinctual to be happy about the recent drops in gas prices, a few people told me that they paid under $2 a gallon today! Awesome, right? Well... no, not really. I know what you're thinking, "Oh c'mon, I can't even enjoy my $1.99 gas?! Why does this guy hate everything?" Hey, I'm happy about paying less to fill up too, but we can't allow ourselves to become comfortable again. Americans got a huge wake up call in 2008 when we started paying $4 a gallon, it was a taste of what it's like to live anywhere else in the world. If we get complacent because we're paying less for gas now, it's just going to come back and bite us in the ass in a couple years.

After 9/11, alternative energy should have been our number one priority, but surprise surprise, the ex-oilman president did nothing. It was irresponsible, has made our country less safe and has set us back a decade in breaking free of our dependence on foreign oil. When you hear Governor Avon Lady chanting "drill, baby, drill," the image that should pop in your mind is a drug addict needing his next fix. Oil is Republican crack, "c'mon man, just one more offshore oil rig... I'll suck your dick!" and just like when a crackhead offers, you need to turn it down from a Republican... God knows where that mouth has been. And just like drugs, it's great at first, but then you hit rock bottom; these low prices aren't going to last forever and neither will the oil. I read an article today about the possibility of the SUV craze returning due to lower oil prices, so let me say this: if you're thinking about buying a Hummer right now, you're a fucking tool. Well, you're a tool if you ever wanted to buy a Hummer, but you get my point.

There is no excuse to not start investing in alternative fuels and it should be a top priority for the sake of the environment, our economy and our national security. Offshore drilling won't provide results for twenty years, it's time to let it go and move forward. It's fantastic that my wallet is heavier right now, but if we don't start acting, this mess is just going to blow up in our faces again and we'll be right back where we were, and then how much will it take for Americans to be outraged enough to demand change? $5 a gallon? $10 a gallon? This year was our wake up call, we can't afford to hit snooze.

Immoral Majority

2008-10-25T01:39:00.007-04:00

Well it's a new day, so that means a new McCain attack strategy. Let's see, so far we've had: celebrity, inexperienced, community organizer, elitist, doesn't support the troops, terrorist, socialist, and not a part of "Real America" - all hilarious attacks and all well-documented in John McCain's laundry list of hypocrisy, so what's left? With ten days to go, the McCain campaign is now running on "the Democrats will have control of the House, Senate and the presidency... you don't want a liberal majority do you?!"

FUCK YES I DO!

Hell, I've only been waiting 25 years for a liberal majority so we can finally toss out your crusty old asses. The Conservatives have been trying to keep this country in the 1950s since the 1950s, and personally, I'm ready to act like we live in the 21st century. I don't want just a majority, I don't want a super majority, I don't want an ultra majority, I want an UBER MAJORITY! Oh yeah, "uber," that's European... that's how much of a dirty liberal I am.

I started this blog as a way to vent my rage about the Neocon Republican Party, let me be perfectly honest - I want them all gone. Seriously, I want every Neocon out of office on the federal, state and local level; every moral-crusading asshole, everyone of these criminals that wants to eliminate the separation of church and state, all of these bloodthirsty warmongers, I want them all to be unemployed so they can really see what it's like to be a REAL American. Some true Republicans can stay, I can live with guys like Chuck Hagel, Ron Paul and John McCain from eight years ago, but they need to come up with something new to call themselves, the word "Republican" just makes me cry. Or they could just join the Libertarian Party, if we have to have a two party system, I'm perfectly comfortable with Libertarians and Democrats because we might actually get some fucking work done!

Okay, sorry about the rant... I'm a little fired up today. Honestly, I'm a concerned about this possible Democratic majority because the minute anything goes wrong, the Republicans will swoop in like the vultures they are and say, "See?! Told ya!!!" and that'll be that. Also, despite what you've heard, I don't really like the Democratic Party. Why? Democrats aren't really that liberal, no matter how many times conservatives try to say it, it's just not true. They're all pretty much in the center, a lot of them even in the center right, the problem is the Neocons have taken the Republican party so far to the right, that anything looks liberal by comparison. Here, I'll illustrate:

Liberals--------------------------------------------Democats------Republicans-------------Neocons-

We're at an extremely important moment in our country's history, serious changes need to be made and that's not going to happen with partisan gridlock, which is pretty much what the government has been like since I've been alive. The people are fed up with their government - I certainly am - and are demanding sweeping changes, that's not going to happen as long as the Republican Party exists. It's not that Democrats are going to fix it, they're not, but the Neocons are leeches that have bled this country dry and they must be stopped. Once we've removed this parasite, we can begin working on the Democrats and either fix that party or do away with it as well and start fresh.

I sincerely hope that one day we can get rid of the two-party system, it's completely outdated and unneccessary in this modern culture we live in. Sure, it worked when our quickest way of delivering information was the Pony Express, but now we can access anything in seconds, so we don't really need to align ourselves with a party that kinda-sorta represents our worldview. Make no mistake, I don't think all people that identify themselves as Republican are bad people, if you personally believe in a conservative lifestyle, that's your choice and I respect it. The problem lies in Republican leaders who have no agenda and are merely interested in power and money, that's what's killing America. Republican Party, Democratic Party, they can both go for all I care, but we're not going to see the kind of change we need as long as we let these power-hungry Neocons keep their hand wrapped around America's throat.

I've bashed George W. Bush a lot over the last eight years, but oddly enough, I have to thank him. Yes, by him being the worst president in American history, he's opened a window of opportunity for outraged Americans to get in that voting booth on November 4 (or before that - vote early!) and possibly destroy the ultra-corrupt Neoconservative Republican Party once and for all. This isn't hyperbole, I'm not joking, and I'm going to say this loud and clear - in order for America to survive, the Republican Party has to die.

Designing Palin

2008-10-22T18:35:00.005-04:00

I don't hide my hatred for the Republican Party, there's certainly no questioning that, but I don't hate them just because it's fun. I honestly believe that the Republican Party is a malignant tumor that is slowly and painfully killing the United States of America. Don't get me wrong, I'm not overly fond of the Democratic Party either, but I feel like there is some good left there and they haven't been destroyed from within like the Neocons did to Republicans.

The biggest problem with the Neocon Republican Party is that it's no longer about issues, but rather about keeping the political structure of the nation in a state of permanent campaigning. The Republicans can't govern, they don't want to govern, they run on a platform that says government doesn't work (which as I've joked before, it doesn't work when they're in charge), but they do know how to campaign. Until Barack Obama put together the most impressive ground game in campaign history, Democrats almost always were out-campaigned by Republicans. But when you have no agenda other than to retain power and control people, it's no wonder why the country has gone to shit after eight years of George Bush, seven of those with Republican control of the House and Senate.

With their disgusting claws being pryed off the levers of power, Republicans are growing desperate and have resorted to these sleazy attacks and smears. It's not surprising, I'm just stating the fact in order to get to my point - as these attacks fail in the age of YouTube, the Republicans become more and more transparent and they're now exposed as the no good hypocrites that they are.

This is the party that attacked John Kerry as an elitist, mocked John Edwards' $400 haircut and called Barack Obama an empty celebrity. Yeah, the Republicans love to paint themselves as Joe Sixpack, Hockey Moms, just your average blue collar guy that loves 'Merica and wants to take out 'dem 'terrists! Well, if the Republicans are just like every other average guy out there, then why are they spending $150,000 on Sarah Palin's wardrobe? Let's keep in mind, the average American family of four takes in less than $50,000 per year, and the RNC is spending triple that on the clothes that Palin has worn in her short two months on the campaign.

Remember, this is the supposed "reformer" that saved the people of Alaska all this money - she didn't need the fancy jet, the private chef, or a limo ride to work, she was just your average "Real American" that wanted to shake up Washington! If you're one of those average Americans reading this, let me ask you, when's the last time you spent $2,500 on a Valentino jacket? Have you recently spent $90 on a hat for your infant son? When's the last time you got to go on a $75,000 shopping spree at Neiman Marcus... was that before you lost your 401k or after you got laid off?

Look, I don't care what the Republican National Committee does with its money; if Sarah Palin wants to go out and pretend she's got a cameo in the next Sex and the City movie, that's fine. But don't act like you're speaking to me or the rest of Real America when you've spent more money in one day than the average Joe makes in a year. This stuff is funny to an extent, but you have to remember these are the people running for office and winning based on the myth that they connect to middle America more than those damn dirty liberals do. Maybe if they took off the Dolce & Gabbana and stepped outside one of their eight houses, they could have a claim to understanding the problems facing the average American.

Now I know what you're thinking, "Barack Obama's rich too!" Yes he is, but he's not out there calling himself Joe Sixpack. Obama's not running around talking about what parts of the country are "Real," he's just actually bothered to learn something. Oh I know, that "L" word is scary to a Neocon, but while their nominees are bashing the "elitist Democrats," no one is bothering to mention that they're nothing but emprty suits spewing empty gestures for cheap applause. When you're running for office and you have no vision for the future and all you're presenting is marketing for this character that doesn't actually exist, you're hurting America. This isn't a popularity contest, it's not who you want to have a beer with, it's who is the most knowledgeable of the problems facing the country and who is best equipped to offer a solution to it.

She may have spent $150,000... but the Empress has no clothes.

Real America

2008-10-21T14:17:00.008-04:00

Aside from calling Barack Obama a socialist, there has been another disturbing talking point coming out of the McCain campaign this week, this notion that there are parts of the country that are "Real America," I suppose implying that other parts are "Fake America." I noted Sarah Palin and Michele Bachman's Neo-McCarthyism over the weekend, but it didn't stop with these two; North Carolina congressman Robin Hayes threw out this gem that was reported in the New York Observer:

First, Representative Patrick McHenry cheered what he called the “biggest crowd John McCain has gotten in North Carolina” and emphasized that this was a critical election with a stark choice between the candidates.

“It’s like black and white,” someone in the crowd at the Cabarrus Arena & Events Center yelled out, laughing. McHenry let the remark pass and finished his speech. He yielded the microphone to Representative Robin Hayes, who prefaced his comments by saying it was important to “make sure we don’t say something stupid, make sure we don’t say something we don’t mean.” Republicans, he reminded the crowd, were kind people. Plus, he added, the liberal media had shown itself eager to distort such remarks. With the crowd duly chastened and put on best behavior, he accused Obama of “inciting class warfare” and said that “liberals hate real Americans that work and achieve and believe in God.”

Wow... "hey let's not saying anything stupid, but you know those fucking liberals hate real Americans and people that believe in God." Yeah, no class warfare there at all.

If this is going to be the main point that the Republicans drive home in the last two weeks of the election, I have a much better idea for them. John McCain, your poll numbers are slipping even further, your support is waning, your message isn't resonating, maybe it's just time to give up on some of America, instead of trying to become president of the whole country, John, you could just be president of Real America!

Think about it, your supporters don't want to live in a country with people like me, it's just a recipe for disaster. I honestly have no problem giving you Real America, you're all clearly better people than I could ever be, so I should have to stay behind here in Fake America. Here's my plan for your new country:

REAL AMERICA
President - John Sidney McCain
Vice President - Sarah Louise Heath Palin
Speaker of the House - Joe the Plumber
Chief Justice - The Honorable Toby Keith
Motto - Jesus is American!
National Anthem - "God Bless the USA" - Lee Greenwood
Capital - Wasilla, Alaska
Largest City - Houston, Texas
Official Language - American (Color isn't spelled "colour" you silly Europeans!)
Currency - $1 bill - Ronald Reagan, $5 bill - A Fetus, $10 bill - An Oil Rig, $20 bill - Dale Earnhardt, $100 bill - Jesus!
States - Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, South Carolina, Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Montana, West Virginia, North Dakota, South Dakota, Alaska, Florida, Nevada (except Las Vegas), Northern Wisconsin and "Real Virginia"

Isn't that awesome, John? You get all of Real America to yourself! As Governor Palin said, this is where you find "goodness and courage," and it's the "hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America areas of this great nation." You don't really want to be president of places like New York, California, and New England, do you? Of course not, and neither do your supporters, they deserve something better than that since they are the Real Americans after all.

Us here in Fake America will just have to get by on things like the entire entertainment industry, the media, Ivy League schools, and advanced science. Yeah, don't want to stain your reputation with those God-hating scientists and their medicine, but you guys have the power of prayer, so I'm sure you don't need anybody for cancer treatment, heart disease or anything else that may afflict us atheist, America-hating liberals.

Well, good luck to you Real Americans, although I'm sure you won't need it since we all know Jesus is a Republican. He did preach the virtues of wealth, greed, ignorance and bigotry, so having him on your side must be a huge bonus. Oh, I almost forgot, I made a flag for your new country, hope you like it!

The Top 10 Hypocrisies From the John McCain Campaign

2008-10-20T15:51:00.008-04:00

If you asked me to name what it is about the Republican Party that I hate the most, it would undoubtedly be their shameless hypocrisy. So with only two weeks left in the campaign, I figured it would be nice to recap some of the most infuriating double-standards in the 2008 presidential election. Of course, there are only two weeks left, so that gives the Republicans plenty of time to add another dozen or so to this list.

10. "Robocalls are despicable... now listen to my Robocall about Barack Obama!"
In the 2000 Republican primary, John McCain's reputation was attacked from all angles by the Bush campaign - they used Robocalls to put the idea into voters minds that John McCain may have fathered an illegitimate black child. In reality, it was his adopted Bangladeshi daughter, but it worked and McCain lost the bid for president to Bush, and we all know how that worked out. Fast-forward eight years and McCain is using the exact same company that smeared him to smear Obama as someone who "works with" terrorists.

9. "Candidates children are off limits... but have I mentioned how ugly Chelsea Clinton is?"
After some pretty vicious rumors about Sarah Palin's daughter began circulating, the Palin family came out and announced that their 17 year old daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. Palin praised her daughter's "choice" to keep the baby - a "choice" that a McCain administration very well could take away (two for one hypocrisy!) - and then said that families should be off-limits. Of course, I'd like to know where they were in the 90s when John McCain joked "you know why Chelsea Clinton is so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." Stay classy, Johnny!

8. "Barack Obama is a celebrity... now who wants to watch me in Wedding Crashers?"
Soon after Obama locked up the Democratic nomination, John McCain launched a series of ads equating the Illinois Senator with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears as an empty, Hollywood elite. But wait a minute, which one of these candidates has hosted Saturday Night Live? Had a cameo in Wedding Crashers? Appeared on 24? That would be John McCain. McCain has also appeared on numerous other entertainment shows: 11 appearances on Jay Leno, 8 with Letterman, 3 with Conan O'Brien, 12 visits to The Daily Show, 3 episodes of The View, 6 episodes of Entertainment Tonight, an appearance on Last Comic Standing , and even an appearance on WWE Monday Night RAW. John McCain was a celebrity's politician long before anyone had even heard the name Barack Obama.

7. "How dare you use the phrase 'lipstick on a pig?!' That is a clear insult to my running-mate... but please ignore the fact that I used the same phrase when discussing Hillary Clinton."
Ah, do you remember the good ol' days? You know, like back in August when the only thing we had to worry about was "Lipstickgate?" Yeah, kinda sucks that the economy imploded and everyone conveniently forgot about this little piece of crazy from John McCain. McCain exploded when Obama used the phrase to describe McCain's policies, but nobody had the time to ask the Republican nominee what he meant when he used the exact same phrase to describe Hillary Clinton's healthcare plan.

6. "The attacks on my running-mate have been nothing short of sexism... now who wants to hear a joke about rape?"
John McCain has an uncomfortable history joking about rape, we discussed his association with Clayton Williams in the very first entry here at American Razor, a man who once said "as long as [rape] is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it." McCain's also made jokes about a woman enjoying being raped by a Gorilla and he called his wife a cunt, so I don't know if he's really the foremost authority on sexism. Look, I'm not one to be offended by someone's tasteless jokes, but if you get to joke about rape, then I get to call Sarah Palin "Governor Avon Lady."

5. "Barack Obama is way too sensitive about criticism... but any attack on me is 'beyond the pale.'"
While John McCain supporters are busy shouting "kill him," "off with his head," "terrorist," "traitor," "treason," "socialist," and "Arab" at rallies, John McCain himself is running around with his phony outrage about anyone who calls him out on creating this environment. After Governor Avon Lady stirred the pot and essentially called Obama an America-hating socialist terrorist at her rallies, Civil Rights legend John Lewis attacked the Republican ticket for creating such a hostile environment. He said while they are not directly engaging in any sort of violence, they are encouraging their supporters to become more and more rabid towards the first black presidential nominee; much like the atmosphere that surrounded segregationist George Wallace during the Civil Rights Movement. It's a completely accurate statement to make, but John McCain came unglued over it and instead of condemning what some lunatics in his crowd had been saying about Obama, he tried the "I'm rubber, you're glue" defense and tried to put all the blame on his opponent. Now who's touchy?

4. "Negative campaigning shows you have no vision for the future... now let's watch my slew of negative ads against Obama."
As mentioned earlier, McCain was the victim of a hideously negative campaign in 2000 and he said "sooner or later people are going to figure out that if all you run is negative attack ads you don't have much a vision for the future or you're not ready to articulate it." Now before he rolled out the Robocalls, McCain had already been running the sleaziest campaign in modern history. Whether it's a distortion, half-truth, smear, or flat-out lie, McCain's campaign has thrown it at Barack Obama. After the 2000 primary and after he said this year that voters were tired of negative campaigning, McCain surrounded himself with the same people that smeared him eight years ago and took his campaign down the low road.

3. "You're a socialist... but my plan for the government to spend $300 billion to buy up every bad mortgage in the country is called being a Maverick!"
As I noted yesterday, the latest tactic of the campaign is to revert back to McCarthyism, one of our country's most embarrassing chapters and paint Obama as a socialist. It's working with the Republican base, one woman even began shouting "SOCIALIST" at Obama at a restaurant over the weekend and refused to listen to him or shake her hand when he attempted to better explain his positions. Of course, there's only one candidate in this campaign pledging to use tax dollars to buy up every bad mortgage in the country and it's the crazy Commie John McCain. We've already nationalized the banks, but now John McCain wants to nationalize your property and he has the audacity to call Obama socialist.

2. "You pal around with terrorists... but my relationship with G. Gordon Liddy doesn't count."
If you missed it, you can read this entry about McCain's relationship with G. Gordon Liddy, a man that McCain says he is "proud of." What part is he proud of? Liddy's involvement in the Watergate scandal? His plot to murder two men? His plot to bomb buildings? Or him telling people to shoot ATF agents in the face? Liddy served his time in jail and now works as a radio host, but his connections to John McCain are just as solid (if not more) as Obama's ties to William Ayers. Ayers and Liddy are both rehabilitated domestic terrorists, but only one of them served time in prison (Liddy), yet the media only reports on Obama and Ayers? A stunning and sickening hypocrisy from the McCain campaign and the lazy media.

1. "Barack Obama has no experience... now I'd like to introduce you to my running-mate, Sarah Palin!"
I could probably do a top ten list solely on the hypocrisy of selecting Sarah Palin as a Vice Presidential nominee, but she undoubtedly belongs at the top of this list. The claim that Barack Obama is inexperienced is a valid argument, I won't debate that. It would have been McCain's best line of attack in this campaign had he not selected Governor Avon Lady as his running-mate. You mean to tell me that I shouldn't vote for Obama because he's inexperienced while the Republicans are offering up a 72 year old, four time cancer survivor as their nominee with a potential Vice President who's been governor of a state with a smaller population than Albuquerque, New Mexico and before that, Mayor of a city with a population smaller than the attendance of a high school football game? We've also gotten to know Sarah Palin over the last few weeks and she is the biggest embarrassment in the political history of this nation. Selecting her as a running-mate is a slap in the face to every American and it shows that McCain's judgment is a far greater liability than Barack Obama's lack of experience.

Red (State) Scare

2008-10-19T19:45:00.004-04:00

The Republican Party is in utter disarray - the wheels are flying off, people are abandoning ship, they are in a nosedive, name any other metaphor for a vehicle crashing, it's happening to the Republicans. Now, I certainly don't want to start clicking my heels together just yet since this is a close race and there's still two weeks to go, but there's no doubt that even if McCain pulls it off and wins, it'll be like becoming the new lead singer for Journey. Sure, Journey was an awesome band, but there's no Steve Perry!

A lot of issues came to a boil this weekend and if you're unlike me and you have a life, you probably missed out on a lot. On Friday, Sarah Palin mentioned how much she loves visiting "the pro-America parts of the country," pretty much abandoning any subtlety that the Republicans had left and just flat-out said they truly think that only certain states, cities or towns are American. Basically saying that if you live in New York, Chicago, LA, or any place where there's not necessarily a huge concentration of white Christians, you hate America.

Minnesota Congresswoman (and lunatic) Michele Bachmann did an interview on Friday where she called for an investigation of the United States congress to see which members were anti-American. I did a piece on Neo-McCarthyism a few months back, I'd like to thank Michele Bachmann for proving my point. If you needed anymore evidence that the Neocons are desperately trying to take this country back to the 1950s, just turn on one of your 24 cable news outlets, the big word of the day is "socialist," oh no, the Reds are coming!

Much like McCarthyism, you don't need to provide any actual facts or evidence to prove that your opponent is a dirty Commie, just repeat it over and over and eventually someone will believe you. Barack Obama is this America-hating socialist liberal that's looking to redistribute wealth! Yeah, I'm sure that's why the richest man on the planet, Warren Buffet, has endorsed him for president, he's just going to let his $65 billion get spread around! Of course, all Obama is going to do is cut taxes on 95% of the country and then raise taxes on the upper 5% to what they were when Bill Clinton was president. But you can understand why Republicans would be upset about that, despite the eight years of peace, the roaring economy and the low unemployment rates, people were getting blowjobs! Clearly, we can't let our children be reminded of such a dark time in our nation's past. Oh Republicans, you're so cute sometimes.

All this nonsense came to a screeching halt today when a true American hero endorsed Barack Obama - General Colin Powell. The Republican General Colin Powell... the former Secretary of State for the Bush Administration Colin Powell... one of the architects of the Iraq War Colin Powell. How's that for a kick in the balls, Republican Party? Powell's endorsement is a concise rejection of this sleazy, irresponsible and shameless campaign that John McCain has run these last few months. A clear rejection of these ideas put forth by Michele Bachmann that part of our congress hates America; a clear rejection of the hate being spewed and encouraged at McCain rallies where people call for the assassination of a political candidate; and it is certainly a clear rejection of the intelligence-insulting choice of Sarah Palin as a nominee for Vice President.

Colin Powell is a good man that got a raw deal from the Bush Administration after the occupation of Iraq blew up in their face. After it all began to fall apart, he was one of the first people to have the courage to speak out and shortly thereafter, quietly "resigned" as Secretary of State in 2005. Powell isn't afraid to tell it like it is and that goes directly against the ideals of Neocon Republicans, so it's no surprise both sides went their separate ways. Here we are now in the middle of this divisive election and a lifelong Republican, one of our most respected generals, has come out to endorse the Democratic nominee for president because of the horrible campaign that his party is running. He knows McCain will run the country exactly like Bush (into the ground), he knows we won't get away from this culture war under a McCain presidency and he knows it will truly be more of the same, so he's speaking out... very Maverick of him, don't you think?

Of course the right-wing media is already trying to brush this off as a racial thing (how many other black Democrats has Colin Powell directly endorsed? Oh yeah, none), but don't let their racism get to you. The Neocons have very little tricks left up their sleeve, so they're going to throw everything they can at Obama - race, terrorism, socialism, anti-Americanism, elitism, etc. - but just remember, while they're slinging mud, Colin Powell was the Republican that truly put country first.

I'm also troubled by – not what Senator McCain says – but what members of the Party say, and it is permitted to be said: such things as, "Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim." Well, the correct answer is he is not a Muslim. He's a Christian; has always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, "What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?" The answer's "No, that's not America." Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be President? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own Party drop the suggestion he's Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

I feel strongly about this particular point because of a picture I saw in a magazine. It was a photo essay about troops who were serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. And one picture at the tail end of this photo essay was of a mother in Arlington Cemetery. And she had her head on the headstone of her son's grave. And as the picture focused in, you could see the writing on the headstone. And it gave his awards – Purple Heart, Bronze Star; showed that he died in Iraq; gave his date of birth, date of death. He was twenty years old. And then at the very top of the headstone, it didn't have a Christian cross. It didn't have a Star of David. It had a crescent and a star of the Islamic faith. And his name was Karim Rashad Sultan Kahn. And he was an American. He was born in New Jersey, he was fourteen years old at the time of 9/11 and he waited until he could go serve his country and he gave his life.

-General Colin Powell (October 19, 2008)

Neocons.

2008-10-14T15:18:00.006-04:00

I'm often asked about my pure, unadulterated hatred for the Republican Party, do I really paint all Republican politicians with the same brush? Not exactly, there are two types of Republicans in the party right now - those who were complacent in the hijacking of their party and the ones who orchestrated it, the Neoconservatives... Neocons. About two years ago, many Republicans started crying that they wanted their party back after the Neocons destroyed it, but I say too bad. Republicans sold out to the religious right and corporate interests, in order to get votes and when you make your bed, you have to lie in it.

But much like the Taliban in Afghanistan, there's been a Neocon resurgence in the 2008 presidential election. It looked like we may have begun to close the book on this sad era of American government, but then John McCain just had to go to the frozen tundra of Alaska and uncover the archetypal Neocon - The Abominable Sarah Palin. Yes, the governor is everything the Neocons look for in a candidate - Bible-thumping, attractive, folksy (talks in a cute accent of some kind... nothing foreign though), and incredibly stupid but proud of it.

The Neocons had to have been so proud of their young apprentice over this past weekend as they watched her perform that amazing sleight of hand that they're all so good at. A bi-partisan committee made up of eight Republicans and four Democrats finished their investigation into the so-called "Troopergate" scandal and found that Governor Palin unlawfully abused her power and violated the state's ethics bill. Gov. Palin's response?

"Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that."

This is how ballsy the Neocons have become. They can be standing over a dead body with a knife in their hand and say "see? I had nothing to do with it." It's pretty damn funny, but it would be a lot more humorous if these people weren't running the country. These clowns have become so accustomed to no one calling them out on their bullshit, that they don't even try anymore.

"Hey governor, this investigation says you your office to settle personal vendettas."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Oh, okay."

Remember, this is the campaign that has been making such an issue about Barack Obama's character and judgment, meanwhile the Republicans have a candidate who selected an incredibly corrupt, embarassingly unqualified and incredibly ignorant governor of the third smallest state (population-wise) in the nation. What does that say about character and judgment?

When Barack Obama made the claim about people being "bitter" and "clinging to guns and religion," he was talking about the kind of people that have voted in the Neocons. These people are generally decent human beings, they've just been screwed over by the government so much, that they no longer trust them to help economically. However, the Neocons know how to appeal to these people without actually having to help them, they pander to them with God and Guns. Neocons run on a platform of government being ineffecient (which it is when they're in charge of it), so they tell "small-town" folk, to not vote for those silly Democrats because they'll take your guns away and get rid of God. These people then pull the lever for the W's of the world and then the Neocons take power and do nothing to help those who voted for them, that's what Obama was talking about.

But after eight years of the country going to absolute shit, people have smartened up and the Neocons have to up their tactics. Simple, small-town people aren't enough anymore, they have to engage in full-on culture war and energize the lunatic fringe of America. So while the Neocons run a campaign based on fear, distortion and flat-out lies, they start to energize a certain portion of America that is unlike anything we've seen in decades. Blatant racism, bigotry, homophobia, xenophobia, it's all out there and the Republican Party is playing with fire. John McCain used to be above all this but he sold his soul to the Neocons and now the genie can't go back in the bottle - he will regret his entire campaign from the moment he picked Sarah Palin until these final three weeks that have highlighted the ugliest portions of America. And just like those Republicans that wanted their party back a couple years ago, sorry John, you made your bed.

The country is going to go in one of two directions in the event of an Obama victory. If it's a landslide, the Neocon Republicans will likely take a critical blow; I'm hopeful that the party will die an embarrassing death and all of these criminals that hijacked America will be run out of office permanently to make way for a new, better political party to be the yin to the Democrats' yang, but I don't think the country will be that lucky. But in the event of an extremely close race, it's just going to get uglier. The Neocons will fight Obama tooth and nail and do whatever they can to sabotage his presidency. If they succeed, I fully expect them to run Sarah Palin in 2012, which should be a scary enough thought to get you in the voting booth on November 4.

Barack Obama needs a clear, decisive victory to put an end to Neocon rule once and for all and Sarah Palin needs to be forever-regarded as the biggest embarassment this country has ever seen on a political stage. Obama's not perfect, but Palin isn't even below average and if she's the direction the Neocons want to take this great nation, then it needs to be stopped now. Palin can never be allowed in a position of federal power because I fully believe she'll get in her helicopter and shoot America in the back of the head.

McCain wants a cookie for things he's supposed to do

2008-10-11T17:06:00.007-04:00

I'm getting tired of people telling me that I need to respect John McCain for correcting people at his rallies that call Obama a terrorist or Arab (which apparently to McCain supporters, simply being an Arab is bad). Wow, way to go Johnny, you're putting out the fires that your campaign's been pouring gas on for the last two weeks. That's like a serial killer expecting parole because he hasn't murdered anyone lately.

To be brutally honest, I have absolutely no sympathy or respect left for John McCain; I want him to lose in November, I want him to lose his next Senate campaign and I want him out of our political system altogether. I say this because I want to have some memories of the John McCain that I once respected and admired, a man whose story hadn't been cheapened by the campaign and a man that just seemed like a decent human being. This election has changed John McCain and I can't feel sorry for him because he brought every bit of this on himself. Great, he finally managed to reign in some of the idiot racists at his campaign rallies, but this is still the guy that decided to associate himself with slimy, disgusting figures like Karl Rove, Rick Davis and Sarah Palin, he should have expected this negative tone when he aligned with these scumbags.

The far right is all over who Obama is associating with, but what about McCain? Let's take a look at McCain's shady friends and ask why the media isn't bringing them up whenever a McCain surrogate talks about who Obama "pals around" with:

Karl Rove - A man who was once described as "Bush's Brain," he got George W. Bush the Republican nomination for president in 2000 after running an incredibly sleazy primary campaign against John McCain. Rove's smears included allegations that McCain's adopted Bangladeshi daughter was his "illegitimate black baby," and that the Arizona senator didn't support funding for breast cancer. As a member of the Bush Administration, Rove was instrumental in the US Attorney Scandal, the political destruction of an Alabama governor, and the outing of a CIA Agent, which last time I checked, is an act of treason. It should be noted that Rove was never convicted of any link to the outing of the agent's identity, but we'll never know since he brazenly ignored congressional subpoenas and the spineless Democrats in congress just let him slither away. Rove is now a FOX News contributor and an advisor to the McCain campaign, which would be a blatant conflict of interest if FOX News was ever considered a legitimate form of journalism.

Rick Davis - A registered Washington lobbyist and the chief executive officer of John McCain's presidential campaign. Davis was the head of a group that lobbied on behalf of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac where he earned over $30,000 a month; as of August of this year, it was revealed that Davis was still receiving $15,000 a month from Fannie and Freddie. Of course, we now know that the actions of those companies are largely responsible for the current mortgage crisis that has caused our current economic crisis. But the fun doesn't stop there, in 2006, Davis also set up a meeting between John McCain and a man by the name of Oleg Deripaska, a Russian billionaire. Later that same year, the United States revoked Deripaska's visa, denying him entry into the country due to his connection with organized crime.

G. Gordon Liddy - A man that McCain desribes as an "old friend" that he's "very proud of." Liddy is a convicted criminal who was sentenced to twenty years in prison due to his role in the infamous Watergate scandal. Liddy was convicted of conspiracy, illegal wiretapping and burglary, but he also admitted plotting to murder a journalist, kidnapping leftists, and bombing the Brookings Institution. For this lovely behavior, Liddy was rewarded with a commuted sentence and his own radio show where he encouraged his listeners to shoot ATF agents in the face. He has donated at least $5,000 to McCain campaigns since 1998 and their relationship is far more concrete than Obama's ties to 1960s radical William Ayers.

Funny how the media never brings any of this up, isn't it? One could make an argument that it's underlying racism and it's a lot easier to connect the dots of "terrorism" to a guy named Barack Hussein Obama than an old white guy named John Sidney McCain, but I don't this it's that nefarious on the media's part. Honestly, I just think it goes back to the lazy journalism I often discuss - the media will talk about whatever the campaigns talk about and since the McCain campaign is playing up on their racist supporters' unrelenting hatred of Barack Obama, it's what the media will report on.

But unless John McCain answers for his associations with men who have been accused of treason, connections to organized crime and domestic terrorism, why should I be taking any of these accusations against Obama seriously? Honestly, do I think these connections disqualify McCain from the presidency? Of course not, but I have to ask why no responsible journalist is using McCain's own tactics against him when he has just as many (if not more) shady associates than Obama. If this is the political climate we're going to create, why aren't these questions being asked of McCain?

So to go back to the original point, no I'm not going to give McCain a thumbs up for suddenly telling racists that Barack Obama isn't an Arab while his running-mate is still out there repeating these ridiculous charges. He is responsible for setting this tone and now he has to undercut his message of the last two weeks while simultaneously taking heat from the racists and fringe-lunatics that have been coming out to hear that very message. I know that McCain doesn't believe any of this garbage that his surrogates have been spewing lately, so I hope it burns just a bit hotter now that this has blown up in his face.

Republicans cry "VOTER FRAUD!" as country collectively groans.

2008-10-10T18:36:00.007-04:00

Top news item on FOX News today? Was it the roller coaster ride that the stock market took? Oh no, today's top story was something extremely important to our country as a whole - voter fraud; an issue I'm surprised to see that Republicans suddenly care about.

Make no mistake, if there are issues with voter registration, then it needs to be investigated and fixed immediately, but the Republicans crying foul? That's like a guy who beats his wife calling the cops when she gets fed up and hits him in the face with a frying pan. Voter fraud allegations coming from the Republican party is damn funny when you look back at the last two presidential elections. All I really have to say is "Florida 2000" and "Ohio 2004" and the Republicans should shut the fuck up - between disenfranchisement, blocking registration, voter suppression, illegal voter purging, Katherine Harris, Ken Blackwell, and voting machines, Republicans have absolutely no room to talk.

But this sudden outrage should not surprise you, it's typical Republican sleight of hand. Remember, this is the same party that, during the primaries, referred to Hillary Clinton as a "bitch," a "whiner" and when she brought up sexism, they claimed she was "hiding behind the apron strings." The far-right has had it out for the Clintons since 1992 and they have never let up - they've called Chelsea Clinton a dog, John McCain himself called her ugly; Hillary's been called every name in the book and Bill... well we all know how Republicans feel about Bill Clinton. All that changed of course when McCain picked Governor Avon Lady as his running-mate and suddenly any question directed at Palin was "sexist." Calling Hillary Clinton a bitch is okay, but we're supposed to play nice with Governor Avon Lady, who is best described as everything a woman shouldn't be? But it goes further than Hillary Clinton, this is the same party that has voted against every women's issue, ever: abortion, equal pay, proper sex education, violence against women, you name it, the Republicans have opposed legislation for it.

To bring things back to voter fraud, the Republicans have already been devising schemes to keep certain groups of people from voting. In Michigan, a Republican official bragged about a plan to keep people away from the voting booth if their house was in foreclosure, even if they were still living in the home on election day. Remember, Republicans aren't concerned about people voting, they're worried about a couple million poor people voting that have realized the right-wing has destroyed this country in the last eight years. So please, don't be fooled by these criminals who are suddenly whining because an isolated group on the other side started getting their hands just as dirty... you reap what you sow. This is the environment Republicans have created and it has dealt a critical blow to our country, I can't say that I'm surprised some have decided to strike back.

Seriously though, I want all these issues on both sides to be resolved quickly and fairly. Let's have a fair election for once, let's make sure everyone has the chance to vote and let's actually count all the ballots this time. But despite their newfound love of Democracy, I don't think that's the kind of election the Republicans really want when they still have the dark cloud of George W. Bush lingering over them.

Support the Troops? Vote Obama

2008-10-09T00:18:00.004-04:00

You hear it all the time, "I support the troops!" It's easy to say, doesn't cost anything and it makes the person saying it sound noble. Governor Palin is running around saying that Barack Obama doesn't support our troops, harsh words, but John McCain does have that strong military image, so obviously he would support our troops more, right?

Well... no. Not at all.

Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans for America (IAVA) released their scorecard today for the candidates and good ol' troop-loving, "we're winning in Iraq" John McCain scored a D. That's not a typo; Senators Obama and Biden each scored a B, Sarah Palin did not receive a grade because she's never done anything, ever. McCain scored so low mainly because he's missed just about every crucial vote for veterans in the last year (most notably the new GI Bill), he missed more votes than a congressman that was in a coma. In 2007, McCain missed 10 out of 14 votes on Iraq alone, remember that the next time someone you know brings up Obama voting "present" in the Illinois State Senate (which is a completely bullshit line of attack anyway, "present" is used as a protest vote in Illinois).

Cindy McCain has recently been out on the campaign trail attacking Senator Obama for voting "against funding for my son in Iraq," she claims that vote "sent a cold chill" down her spine. But did she feel that same chill when John McCain voted against similar legislation just two months later? To clear up this issue that has been discussed since the VP debate, Obama voted against the bill because it had no timetable for withdrawal in Iraq - the most pointless war in this country's history - Senator McCain voted against a similar bill months later because it contained a timetable for withdrawal.

There's a reason why deployed troops donate to Obama six times more than John McCain, they know that Obama is the steady hand they need as Commander in Chief. Obama knows we're in a different kind of war, there is no "victory" in Iraq, no matter how many times McCain says it. General David Petraeus, a name McCain invokes at every chance, has gone on record saying he wouldn't even use the phrase "victory" in Iraq:

“This is not the sort of struggle where you take a hill, plant the flag and go home to a victory parade… it’s not war with a simple slogan.”

This isn't World War II, Obama understands it, as do the troops on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan. But why even expect any sort of serious discussion about how we treat our veterans when McCain sings little songs about sending them in to bomb Iran? To put it bluntly, if you want to be able to accurately state you support the troops, you should cast your vote for Barack Obama on November 4.

John McFussy

2008-10-08T14:55:00.004-04:00

Today the McCain campaign came out and called the Obama campaign "fussy" due to their "sensitivity." We went over this yesterday, pointing out the glaring hypocrisy in calling Obama "touchy" when McCain flew off into a fit of rage when anyone asked a question about Sarah Palin. No one even asked a legitimate question like, "you do realize that this woman is the biggest embarrassment in American political history, right?" but instead they got angry at a question like "what newspapers do you read?"

During last night's debate, John McCain called Barack Obama "that one." Now, a lot of people are making an issue out of this, but I'll give McCain the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't mean it in any sort of racist way, but when you're a 72 year old white man, it's probably not a good idea to refer to a young black man in that manner. Racial undertones aside, the comment was unbelievably rude and dismissive and it shows that McCain has little respect for his opponent; he has a name and a title, it's Senator Obama, not "that one."

I shouldn't be surprised though, that's been the entire tone of the campaign since McCain's poll numbers started to nosedive - try to dismiss Barack Obama. As I've said numerous times, John McCain has no agenda that really differs from the policies of George W. Bush, so of course his only weapon is to distort and smear Obama, then say he's being "too touchy." Yeah, I'm a little touchy when someone calls me an America-hating terrorist, which is exactly what Governor Avon Lady has been doing since Saturday. These McCain campaign rallies have all been started by someone invoking Obama's middle name, Hussein, as if it's some sort of epithet and then Palin comes on stage to call Obama a terrorist's best friend. That's a different kind of mudslinging than what you see from the Obama campaign of things like "John McCain has proven over the last two weeks that he is not a steady hand in a crisis and his angry smears distract voters from the real issues in this campaign."

And let's clear up this Obama/domestic terrorist stuff right now - Barack Obama's ties to ex-terrorist William Ayers is about as solid as McCain's ties to ex-terrorist G. Gordon Liddy, I'll let the experts fill you in:

As Media Matters for America has documented in detail, Liddy served four and a half years in prison in connection with his conviction for his role in the Watergate break-in and the break-in at the office of the psychiatrist of Daniel Ellsberg, the military analyst who leaked the Pentagon Papers. Liddy has acknowledged preparing to kill someone during the Ellsberg break-in "if necessary"; plotting to murder journalist Jack Anderson; plotting with a "gangland figure" to murder Howard Hunt to stop him from cooperating with investigators; plotting to firebomb the Brookings Institution; and plotting to kidnap "leftist guerillas" at the 1972 Republican National Convention -- a plan he outlined to the Nixon administration using terminology borrowed from the Nazis. (The murder, firebombing, and kidnapping plots were never carried out; the break-ins were.) During the 1990s, Liddy reportedly instructed his radio audience on multiple occasions on how to shoot Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agents and also reportedly said he had named his shooting targets after Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Both connections are a stretch and based on events that happened over thirty-five years ago, but of course the media only reports on Obama/Ayers because that's what John McCain talks about. Obama has too much class to stoop that low while McCain has no problem flying erratically all over the map.

Here's the part that really bugs me, if this William Ayers connection of Obama's is so bad and is akin to treason and terrorism like so many idiots at McCain rallies have shouted, then why didn't McCain bring it up in last night's debate? If Obama has ties to terrorism, why would McCain even dignify the man with a meeting or a debate? Why won't John McCain just ask the question, "is Obama a terrorist" rather than dancing around it with things like "who is the real Barack Obama?" C'mon, I thought this was the Straight Talk Express, I thought McCain was the tough maverick that's not afraid to stand up to people? Perhaps it's just the simple fact that McCain knows these ties are bullshit, but he's hoping voters will draw their own conclusions from these smears just like with the Swiftboat ads in 2004?

Did you notice McCain wandering around all over the place during the debate, even when it was Obama's time to talk? I don't think a greater metaphor could be used for McCain's campaign than a broken down, ailing man wandering around like a lost Alzheimer's patient. And they're the ones that want to talk about the other campaign being "fussy?" I pity John McCain because this is not the Arizona senator that I respected and admired, this is a cynical man that is willing to try any gimmick, any stunt or any lie in order to get elected. He has surrounded himself with scum like Rick Davis, Karl Rove and Sarah Palin and has made it perfectly clear that he would rather win an election than to put country first.

Angry Johnny

2008-10-07T16:32:00.007-04:00

“If we keep talking about the economic crisis, we’re going to lose.”

Exact words from a top McCain adviser, directly admitting that John McCain has no plan for how to get America back on track. 82% of Americans believe that now is a bad time to find a job - an all-time high since these kinds of polls have been conducted. September saw the ninth straight month of job loss, the unemployment rate is skyrocketing and the government just approved 700 billion of your tax dollars going to bailout - oh I'm sorry, "rescue" - failed financial institutions, and John McCain's campaign has admitted that they can't talk about the economy or else they'll lose. Straight from the horse's mouth: if John McCain is president, the country will get worse. According to another poll taken yesterday by NBC News and The Wall Street Journal, the economy is the number one issue to almost 60% of Americans surveyed and John McCain wants to stop talking about it? "Country First" my ass.

Naturally, the strategy now is to attack Barack Obama's character - Sarah Palin is running around saying Obama "pals around" with terrorists, surrogates have resorted to bringing up his middle name, Hussein, for a cheap cheer, and the audience members at McCain's campaign rallies have resorted to flat-out screaming "TERRORIST" or "KILL HIM" when Obama's name is mentioned. These are the kind of people who vote for John McCain - sick, depraved individuals that are calling for the assassination of a political candidate and Obama's the one "palling around" with terrorists?

Governor Palin's husband was a member of the Alaskan Independence Party, a secessionist group whose founder said of America, "I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions," and "The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government. And I won't be buried under their damn flag. I'll be buried in Dawson. And when Alaska is an independent nation they can bring my bones home." Sarah Palin recorded a welcoming address for AIP's convention earlier this year, yet she's running around saying that Obama's the one who sees America as "imperfect."

I'd be nervous too if I had no agenda for the country with 28 days to go.

John McCain goes out at campaign rallies and says that Obama is "too touchy" and "sensitive" when it comes to questions of his patriotism, yet if you ask McCain if his running-mate is even remotely qualified for the job, he flies off into a fit of rage and declares war against the media. No, not touchy there at all as he shields the precious, delicate flower that is Governor Palin from any questions, even if they're questions asked by a debate moderator. Oh no, Governor Palin doesn't have to answer those questions, but Barack Obama has to entertain ludicrous notions that he somehow sympathizes with someone who did some horrible things when Obama was eight, just because they've been in the same zip code together. Obama has to answer for his pastor's angry comments about America, but Sarah Palin doesn't have to discuss her relationship with a literal witch doctor that protected Palin from witchcraft and prayed for her to be showered with wealth and good fortune. Palin partially credits this man "laying hands on her" as part of the reason she was elected governor of Alaska.

Barack Obama gets attacked for saying that people in small towns are fed up with the government to help them economically, so all they have to hang onto is the government pandering to them with guns and religion. That, while ridiculously true, gets attacked from all sides as a gaffe while Sarah Palin goes out and says women that don't vote for her will go to Hell, and no one says a thing. Barack Obama is a "liberal elitist" for not eating fried food, but no one calls Sarah Palin a disgusting savage for shooting defenseless wolves from a helicopter.

As John McCain's campaign continues to drown and his poll numbers sink like an anchor tied to another anchor, he is relying on the kitchen sink strategy in the last four weeks of the election. His own people admit that they cannot win on the issues, a few weeks ago, his senior campaign manager even tried to say this election was about personalities rather than the issues, so I understand why they're doing what they're doing. They can't win, all they can do is make Barack Obama lose by reminding voters that he's "different," which of course is a code word for "black." It doesn't matter if none of these smears are even remotely close to being true, they just need the voters to connect the dots, even if they don't form a picture.

McCain is bitter, out of touch and has completely sold his credibility and dignity for this last shot and becoming President of the United States and if trends hold, it will blow up in his face. John McCain will not win this election on his record, his positions or his judgment and it's saddening to see him turned into just another neo-conservative puppet. The John McCain of 2000 would never vote for the John McCain of 2008:

Couldn't have said it better, John.

There's a place in Hell for Sarah Palin

2008-10-05T02:36:00.004-04:00

I want to share with you a direct quote from Sarah Palin:

"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women."

Yes, I swear to you she said this and I'll give you video proof in just a moment. To clarify what the governor was talking about, she claims she was quoting former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Here's the full quote in context:

"I'm reading on my Starbucks mocha cup, ok? The quote of the day... It was Madeleine Albright, former Secretary of State [crowd boos] and UN ambassador. ... Now she said it, I didn't. She said, 'There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women.'"

Of course, Albright never said that. In fact, Albright's exact words were "There's a special place in Hell for women who don't help other women." Big damn difference. One implies that if you're a woman that doesn't vote for Sarah Palin, you're going to Hell. The other implies that if you're a woman and you do nothing to help your gender (you know, like Sarah Palin), then you're going to Hell. So if the governor wants to use that quote while running on the ticket that doesn't support a woman's right to choose, equal pay for equal work and all the other women's issues that McCain has voted against over the last 26 years, then I think it's perfectly acceptable to say that Sarah Palin will rot in the fiery pits of hell. Of course, Satan will probably jam his pitchfork through his ears after listening to her talk for about two hours - I could barely survive 90 minutes on Thursday - so while he's recovering, I'm sure she'll find some way to change Hell's constitution and give power to herself.

Once Palin finished delivering another gem, she followed up with a taunt to the media "turning it into" something tomorrow. Hey governor, they wouldn't make a big deal out of it if you weren't butchering someone's quote to make it sound like anyone that votes against you is anti-woman, I know it's all a game to you, but you sound like an asshole. Oh and you claim you read it on your "Starbucks Mocha," whoa there, Governor, Starbucks? Sounds a bit like a hoity-toity latte-drinking Liberal to me! ELITIST!!!

Gotcha!

2008-10-03T21:27:00.013-04:00

It's not "gotcha journalism" just because you're a moron.

This is the latest coming out of the McCain campaign, the tried and true Republican tactic of blaming the "liberal" media for Sarah Palin's inability to answer questions that were asked of her in the two real interviews that she's given to the press. Yeah, that Katie Couric must be so "in the tank" for Obama since she asked that ridiculously hard question, "what newspapers do you read?" Read very closely because I'm about to tell you something that may seem surprising and I know we've gone over it before, but I assure you, it's true: there is no such thing as the liberal media. Make no mistake, there's a right-wing, neo-conservative media - FOX News, New York Post, Washington Times, The Wall Street Journal, National Review, Weekly Standard, and pretty much every AM talk station you've ever listened - but liberal media? Sorry, doesn't exist. Oh, there's a few tiny outlets for strictly liberal thought like Air America Radio, but if you're looking for hardcore liberal media, you're only going to find it on the internet where any jackass with a keyboard can express his thoughts (oh the crippling irony!) In terms of traditional media - radio, television, newspaper, magazines - it's dominated by three groups: 1. conservatives, 2. extremely lazy reporters, and 3. the dying breed - actual journalists.

I got into a less-than-polite disagreement with someone today who, in so many words, told me that I shouldn't bash McCain/Palin because I don't know them personally, nor can I believe everything the media tells me. The first part of that, not knowing them personally, is incredibly stupid, but I'll forgive it since I provoked the hasty response; the second portion however, did strike a chord, you can't always trust the media. But is it because of a liberal bias? No, it's because of general laziness... or fear. The media doesn't do its job anymore because politicians refuse to talk to the press - if a journalist asks tough questions to a Republican, they're labeled as liberal and their newspaper or TV station will never get another interview with that particular candidate.

Sarah Palin has furthered this to embarrassing new lows by doing a measly two interviews with a non-FOX network since becoming John McCain's running-mate. Here's a woman that was literally unknown to the overwhelming majority of non-Alaskans until five weeks ago and she can't even give interviews without preconditions? Obviously, we all know why, if you saw any of the Katie Couric or Charlie Gibson interviews, you understand that Governor Palin is ridiculously unqualified for her position and quite frankly, is a fucking idiot. Don't get me wrong, Palin is an educated woman and probably knows a lot about Alaska, but when it comes to being on the national stage? Yeah, "fucking idiot" is the proper term to use. Some of her answers were like watching fourth graders try to answer test questions about a book they didn't read - just string together a bunch of words and hope they make sense, even if they're completely unrelated to the topic at hand. She did this in the debate last night as well, though it wasn't as obvious since it was paced so quickly that it wound up being in her favor until people had a few hours to think about it.

"Gee golly Katie, I guess you could say Highlights for Children really helped me shape my world view! That and Guns & Ammo, you betcha!"

So let's just set the record straight, Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson and the majority of the mainstream media are not biased against Governor Palin. Hell, the McCain campaign picked Couric to come out on the campaign trail with Palin for nine days, so whatever happened there, they brought on themselves. I know we were all surprised to see it, but yes, Katie Couric showed some real journalism in her interviews with the Governor. There is no liberal agenda in asking a candidate running for the #2 highest office in the land what newspapers they read or if they can name a single Supreme Court case. Palin froze on both of those because she is clueless, not because Couric is an Obama surrogate. This is journalism, folks - asking candidates tough questions because being President and Vice President are tough jobs. We shouldn't be voting for people just because they make us feel fuzzy inside or because they talk like characters in Fargo.

The McCain campaign knows this and it's why they're doing exactly what I predicted they would do in last night's blog - keeping Palin out of the spotlight for the next 30 days. She won't be on any of the Sunday morning talk shows, she won't be sitting down with anyone else from CBS, ABC or NBC, no press conferences, nothing. She scraped by in the debate last night and managed to halt her freefall into the complete destruction of her credibility, but her handlers know that she is not ready to be on television, let alone Vice President or worse, President of the United States of America.

That's what a John McCain vote gets you on November 4, a Vice President whose own campaign openly acknowledges that she is not even ready to stand up to the former host of The Today Show, yet you're supposed to think she can handle Vladimir Putin and Osama bin Laden.

Maverick, Bipartisan, Corruption on Wall Street, Joe Sixpack and Golly Jeepers!

2008-10-02T23:30:00.007-04:00

I'll have more on all the debates in an upcoming writing, but here's my quick analysis of tonight's contest between the two Vice Presidential contenders:

She didn't answer a single question that was asked, she didn't offer any differences between McCain and Bush, she didn't say anything new, she lied and she talked like Ned Flanders...

...But I'm sorry, Sarah Palin won this debate. She managed to come across like someone who had a clue, even if it wasn't a clue about the question that was asked, but it was perfect Republican sleight of hand. Your average person isn't going to sit there and say "oh well she wasn't really answering the question that was asked," they're just going to absorb whatever the hell Palin was talking about. Her cram session paid off and she spewed talking points like it was nobody's business without sounding like the complete mental invalid that she has with Katie Couric. All they have to do now is keep her out of the spotlight for the next 30 days or so and McCain is back in the saddle.

Biden did fine, but he was on the defensive the entire time and never once went after Palin for fear of being labeled sexist. If this debate were Hillary Clinton vs. Sarah Palin, the governor would have been humiliated and this race would be over, but of course, we would have heard the media use the phrase "catfight" a couple thousand times tonight, so I'm glad things turned out this way. Regardless of her winning the debate, I don't think this does much for McCain except slow the hemorrhaging that she has caused the campaign since the Charlie Gibson interview and only worsened with Couric. I don't think she's swayed anyone to her side, but she probably revved up the Republican base that were desperately in need of something to point to in order to defend this embarrassing pick for VP. At least now they can say she beat Joe Biden in a debate, but anyone with half a brain saw that she never answered a single question that was asked and managed to bullshit her way out of stuff she was clueless on. George W. Bush must be so proud!

The Palin Project - Volume 6: The Beginning of the End

2008-09-29T02:34:00.005-04:00

Only Palin can save McCain, her party and the country she loves. She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first. Do it for your country.

I know what you're thinking, the above quote must be one of those "liberal media elites" with their sexist attitude toward Governor Palin, right? Actually, it's from die-hard Republican, Kathleen Parker in a column for the right-wing publication, National Review. Ouch... wonder how they're going to do damage control for that one? When members of your own party are calling you an embarrassment with just over a month to go before election day, maybe it's time to consider packing your bags and heading back to Alaska.

This is the final installment of The Palin Project - I'm certainly not done writing about Sarah Palin, but now that her manufactured "All-American" story has been exposed as the farce that it is, I feel that it is no longer necessary to profile Governor Palin as I have over these six writings. But how could this all fall apart for the Republicans? Just a month ago, it looked like McCain/Palin (or as it was then, Palin/McCain) had this election in the bag. The Democrats had a great convention, but McCain stole the thunder just hours later with the announcement of Sarah Palin as his running-mate and The Palin Effect was seen across the country - people were genuinely interested in this woman. After twenty minutes of pure venom in her convention speech, the pundits were fawning over Palin as the next big thing in American politics and seemingly the only person who could rival Barack Obama's level of fanfare.

But guess what? It was all a magic show, smoke and mirrors, nothing more. The minute people started looking under that hastily-crafted backstory, they saw what many of us knew was there - an empty, bigoted, idiotic lunatic-fringe Neocon that has more in common with George W. Bush than John McCain. Between saying she can see Russia from her house gives her foreign policy experience, being unfamiliar with the Bush Doctrine and being completely clueless on the issues facing our nation, America woke up and saw the truth - Sarah Palin is a joke. You have to sit back and laugh at her, because if you really think hard about the prospect of her being a heartbeat away from the presidency, veins in your head will swell up with anger and cause your entire cranium to explode.

The Republicans certainly tried, they told us she was a reformer (she isn't), they told us she's a maverick like John McCain (they're not), they told us she had more experience than Barack Obama (she doesn't) and they told us that Joe Biden better watch out come debate time (he will eat her alive). As Palin's mystique crumbled in the past week, McCain "suspended" his campaign (for about an hour to do nothing) and tried to get the first debate postponed to October 2 - conveniently the day that the VP debate is scheduled. Even Palin's own campaign is acknowledging that she's a laughingstock and will be decimated in a proper debate - she can't even handle a debate with Katie Couric!

Wow.

Seriously, a month ago they almost had this country convinced that she was going to run circles around a 35-year Senator with more foreign policy experience than pretty much anyone in congress during this upcoming debate. The gloves come off this Thursday and Joe Biden warned he would not treat Palin lightly because he didn't want to come off as condescending as John McCain did during his debate. So Mrs. Palin, I hope you're ready for the man that has been nicknamed "Joey the Shark;" and with your campaign sinking, I don't know if that's a man you want to be going toe-to-toe with.

But don't take this writing as an easy victory for Obama on November 4, far from it. But the selection of Sarah Palin does mark the beginning of the end - even if McCain wins the election - because it represents the final nail in the coffin of John McCain's reputation. A man that was once considered to be the voice of reason in politics, a man that John Kerry asked to be his Vice President in 2004, has devolved into another worthless Neocon pandering to the Religious Right and corporate interests in order to get elected. The Palin pick speaks volumes about John McCain's judgment (or lack thereof) and shows that this man cannot be elected if we ever want to get this country back on track. Remember, a vote for John McCain is a vote for a woman who said this in regards to the $700 billion Wall Street bailout:

That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

Those aren't even sentences, they're just random words placed together - but hey, at least you can feel safe on those clear days when she can see Russia from her house.

Politics as Usual

2008-09-24T15:40:00.002-04:00

Just when it looked like we were going to have a presidential election about actual issues, John McCain managed to turn our country's economic crisis into a political game. McCain wants to postpone Friday's presidential debate so he can return to the Senate and work on this $700 billion bailout for all his lobbyists. Of course, this is Grade-A political bullshit.

Once again, John McCain exploiting a national crisis so he can give off the appearance of being a leader while simultaneously holding the campaign in the palm of his hand. Things aren't going your way? Just hold the election hostage and make things get done on YOUR time and anyone who disagrees "isn't putting country first."

As far as I know, no candidate has ever called for the suspension of a presidential campaign with a little over a month left in order to deal with a financial crisis. The notion that this problem can't be managed without John McCain there is absurd, it's like he thinks congress is sitting around thinking "We have no idea how to solve this issue... if only John McCain were here! You know, that guy that openly admitted to knowing nothing about the economy despite being in the United States Senate for 26 years? Yeah, he can fix it!"

We're in the middle of two fucking wars, McCain hasn't put his campaign on hold for those, has he? No, but he put the Republican Convention on hold for a hurricane that threatened to be worse than Katrina, but turned out to be nothing too disastrous. And then just a few days later, had no problem being out there campaigning while Hurricane Ike ravaged Texas and left millions of people without power throughout the country.

John McCain has turned into the lowest form of political scum that I've ever seen - worse than Cheney, worse than Rove, worse than Bush... it's absolutely appalling to see how low an American Hero will go in order to satisfy his bloodlust to sit in the Oval Office. This man has sold out every idea, every principle and every shred of dignity in order to win and when that won't work, he'll just derail the entire political process. If this man is president, it will be this country's darkest day.

9/11™

2008-09-11T16:03:00.003-04:00

I was going to write up a whole thing about the seventh anniversary of our nation's saddest day, but Keith Olbermann summed it up better than I ever could: